|#40 The Golden Compass||Philip Pullman||1995||* * *||The writing and scenes were well done, but the story didn't do anything for me. Lots of people are saying this is a great book, and it is pretty good, but it doesn't live up to all the hype. ~ December 30, 2007|
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
I woke up at 5:00 this morning and cleaned my desk. I sent out 4 short stories, and through the miracle of electronic mail messages, or "email" as the kids like to call it, I got a reject letter the SAME DAY! A first. I re-wrote the ending to one story.
Savannah drew the most amazing bird sketches. They are suitable for framing.
Alex found 6 state quarters for our state quarters collection book.
Spoke to Barry for about an hour. Sat in front of the fire and read a book and wrote while Deb and the Girls went to baby Savannah's 2nd birthday party.
I had a root canal yesterday. Today I have vicodin :)
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
Yogi Bear; Scoobie-Doo; Speed Buggy; Lost in Space; Bewitched; I Dream of Jeanie; Ultraman; Gilligan's Island; Green Acres; Leave It to Beaver; Grape Ape; Rocky & Bulwinkle; Kojack; Charlie's Angels; Brady Bunch; The Lawrence Welk Show; Dukes of Hazard; Mannix; Dr. Who; Star Trek; Sesame Street; Electric Company; Zoom; Nova; Battlestar Galactica; Twilight Zone; Night Gallery; Night Stalker; The Six Million Dollar Man; The Bionic Woman; The Incredible Hulk; Wonder Woman; The Incredible Hulk; Fantasy Island; The Price is Right; Name that Tune; Hollywood Squares; To Tell the Truth; The Gong Show; Dancing with The Stars; Sonny and Cher; Shields and Yarnell Show; Candid Camera; Cosby Show; Who's the Boss; Three's Company; All in The Family; Rhoda; Alice; Frasier; One Day At a Time; Cheers; Dallas; In Living Color; MadTV; Saturday Night Live; Austin City Limits; Second City Television (SCTV); Partridge Family; My Three Sons; Family Affair; Greatest American Hero; CSI; X-Files; Pee Wee Herman Show; Bugs Bunny Road Runner Show; Carol Burnett; Kids In the Hall; Seinfeld; Gunsmoke; The Cisco Kid; Bonanza; Kung Fu; The Simpsons; Futurama; 60 Minutes; Nightline; COPS; Survivor; American Idol; Hardy Boys; Nancy Drew; Drew Cary Show; Who's Line Is It Anyway; Reno 911; Sarah Silverman Program; Spongebob Squarepants; Dirty Jobs; Speed Racer; Charmed; 90210; Different World; Fat Albert; What's Happening; Maud; The Jeffersons; Good Times; Real World; Big Brother; The Bachelor; Joker's Wild; Who Wants to be a Millionaire?; American Gladiator; Ninja Warrior; Battle of the Network Stars; Acceptable TV; Roseanne; Flinstones; Jetsons; The Land of The Lost; Wonderful World of Disney; Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom; ; Quantum Leap; Petticoat Juntion; Donnie and Marie Show; Crocodile Hunter; David Letterman; Little House on The Prairie; The Saint; Emergency; Marcus Welby, M.D.; Doogie Houser; Allie McBeal; Boston Legal; C.H.I.P.S.; Columbo; Let's Make a Deal; Tonight Show; The Daily Show; Stephen Colbert; Different Strokes; Captain Kangaroo; Bozo the Clown; Kukla, Fran, and Ollie; Wheel of Fortune; Jeopardy; $64,000 Pyramid; Starsky and Hutch; Baretta; Facts of Life; H.R. Pufnstuf, Southpark; Monty Python's Flying Circus; Young Ones; Tom and Jerry; Underdog; Mighty Mouse; The Man From Atlantis; Three Stooges; Little Rascals; Abbot and Costello; Hawaii Five-O; Dragnet; Get Smart; Lassie; Munsters; Adams Family; Johnny Quest; Batman; Superman; Superfriends; Laugh-In; The Monkees; Josie and The Pussycats; Archie; Marries . . . With Children; The Wolfman Jack Show; Grizzly Adams; Flipper; Gomer Pyle; Andy Griffith; Hogan's Heroes.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
But I’m doing the same thing, because In the back of my mind, I think someone is going to read these words, but that “someone” may never exist.
(later . . .) These idiots are still at it. Now they’re trying to argue why Jesus was put on the cross. I’ve always imagined in my mind Christians sitting around debating how many angels can fit on the head of a pin, but I never imagined a stupider exchange of hot air in my most derisive imaginings. These two are so incredibly stupid.
(still later . . .)and now they’re parsing the word “submit” as in “wives submit to their husband.” The one guy actually says: “So I looked up the meaning of the word ‘submit’ and it doesn’t actually mean ‘submit.’”
I swear I want to strangle these stupid bastards.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Spend $250 in one day in any store inside Woodland Mall between November 19 and December 16, 2007, bring your receipts to the Customer Service Desk and your receipts will be totaled, rounding to the nearest whole dollar and stamped as proof of expenditure. If your receipts total $250 or more from any store inside Woodland, you will be entered into a drawing to win an American Girl Doll with a retail value of $87. Only one prize awarded per person for any drawing.I dunno, it just seems weird. Think I'll mention The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard again.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Saturday, December 08, 2007
How about H.R. 1955, where they basically outlaw revolution; so you can't even talk about the government when they start really screwing up.
and H.R. 3791, where they'll hold anyone with an open wireless connection (coffee shops, bookstores, etc) responsible if someone looks at something bad on the Internets.
Monday, December 03, 2007
frog toast flower dance
fish creep tickle pig
dog need wonder butt
book cake window nose
rain red monkey stuff
plant dream music big
eye boy water light
girl good summer bug
hug song yellow run
Saturday, December 01, 2007
|#39 Pride and Prejudice||Jane Austen||1813||* * *||I know this is supposed to be a girl's book, but I read it anyway for the "what's the big deal" factor, because there are so many people (women) who are really into Jane Austen. Basically, Elizabeth goes to tea and visits friends and nothing happens. Mr. Darcy is a jerk, but then turns out he isn't a jerk. Various people say things. I couldn't finish this because I guess I'm too stupid to read it, or I'm a guy. Anyway, I don't get it. ~ November 26, 2007|
more awesome book reviews by me can be found here
Thursday, November 29, 2007
The Army first reached out to parents in 2005 as part of its Army of One campaign by advertising giant Leo Burnett. These ads were directed by Samuel Bayer, who made his mark directing Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” video.link
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Then I networked network printing goodness, which, as all of you know, makes its own gravy. Then I had two hamburgers and a regular order of fries at a new place I've discovered, McDonalds. Then I drove home. Then I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill and did some sit-ups and lifted a few weights.
Later I'm going to drink wine and watch TV with the missus. Before I do that, I'm going to work on my bestselling novel. After all that I'm probably going to go to sleep. While I'm asleep I'm probably going to dream about stuff, but I won't remember that stuff when I wake up because I rarely remember my dreams, and that's too bad, because I probably dream all kinds of cool stuff, like I have super powers or something. If I had super powers, I'd fly around and right wrongs. I'd fly around in my 2002 Ford Taurus, ending wars and bringing down a healthy can of whoop-ass on a lot of rich bastards. ("waterboarding isn't torture? then you don't mind trying it out for yourself huh?") I'd cure cancer and grow limbs back on all the people, and fuse spines and cause corn to grow in places like Darfur. I'd turn all land-mines into pumpkins and all automatic weapons into those plastic tubes you spin around, and they whistle? You know, those orange and green flexible tubes, and the only reason they are there so kids can spin them around and they whistle? The problem with those, at least when I was a kid, is that eventually we'd get bored and start wailing on each other with them, and that hurts. Almost as much as hot-wheel tracks. Ever get beat with a hot-wheel track? Those orange pieces of plastic about a yard long? That hurts like a m0thrfckr.
My friggin' dog is outside barking. Ginger is a beautiful dog, but she's the last friggin' dog we'll ever own because I'm getting semi-old and I'm sick of messing around with the dog, but of course, whenever I see her I immediately start baby-talking to her, and I'm pretty sure if anyone hears me they'll think I'm a crazy person.
I downloaded the movie NETWORK on the tivo, and I'm looking forward to seeing it. I saw this crazy paranoid video called THE ZEITGUIST on Google Video and now I'm all conspiracy theory in the head. But not really. I still don't buy the "911 was an inside job" theory, even though it is true the neocon fascists used it to invade Iraq. That's okay, I'm so tired of being outraged I'm not outraged anymore.
Well anywhoo, nothing happened today. Goodnight and good luck
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
undersimplify. I just woke up and was thinking that word, and I thought, "damn, I bet no one has ever thought of that word." Undersimplify would mean to make things too complicated, as in, "You're undersimplifying this. It's not that hard."
But Alas, I Googled it, and yes, somebody else already thought of the word "undersimplify".
But it is a damn fine unword nonetheless.
Okay, it's 4:30ish in the morning, I'm going back to bed.
This post was posted without the use of drugs or alcohol. Really.
Monday, November 19, 2007
"Since joining the Giants, Bonds had gone from a size 42 to a size 52 jersey; from size 10 ½ to size 13 cleats; and from a size 7 1/8 to size 7 ¼ cap, even though he had taken to shaving his head.."
Full grown men don't do that. At least they're not supposed to.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Barry Bonds took steroids, and baseball has a steroids problem. How much time did they spend on this? 4:48. Almost 5 minutes on a stupid game.
The second story? A typhoon kills at least 1100 people. Time spent: 1:33. Less than two minutes on a catastrophe bigger than 9/11. Not only were those people killed, but their farms and homes were destroyed.
If every professional baseball player overdosed with steroids and died tomorrow, the world would be a better place because baseball is stupid.
That's one reason why network news sucks.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
So, they're having a drought in the Southeast.
Ga. Governor Prays for Rain at CapitolIsn't God the one holding the rain back in the first place? I mean really. And if He has a reason to send a drought down on Georgia, maybe it isn't our place to try to talk him out of it.
By GREG BLUESTEIN – 1 day ago
ATLANTA (AP) — Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue stepped up to a podium outside the state Capitol on Tuesday and led a solemn crowd of several hundred people in a prayer for rain on his drought-stricken state.
"We've come together here simply for one reason and one reason only: To very reverently and respectfully pray up a storm," Perdue said after a choir provided a hymn. link
There are home owner's associations that won't allow people to hang out their laundry. No, that would ruin the aesthetics of the neighborhood. There are people who dig wells in their own yards so they can get past water restrictions. Not so they can save water, not so they can cut down on usage, but so they can water their lawns.
Yes, I think I know why God is causing droughts, fires, floods, and hurricanes all over the planet: God is trying to save the planet by wiping out the stupid, undeserving, fossile-fuel burning warlike primates that can't take a hint.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Boston, Massachusetts and Washington, DC effectively eliminate the right to contest parking tickets.
In an attempt to stem the loss of revenue from motorists contesting parking tickets, cities are effectively eliminating the traditional due process rights of motorists to defend themselves at an impartial hearing. By the end of next year, Washington, DC's Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) will not allow anyone who believes he unfairly received a citation to have his day in an administrative hearing.
"DMV will complete the phase-out of in-person adjudication of parking tickets in favor of mail-in and e-mail adjudication by December 2008," the Fiscal Year 2008 DMV plan states.
The move is intended to allow automated street sweeper parking ticket machines to boost the number of infractions cited well beyond the 1.6 million currently handed out by meter maids. As one-third of those who contest citations in the city are successful, the hearings cut significantly into the $100 million in revenue tickets generate each year.
Under the DMV's plan, motorists will only be able to object to a ticket by email or letter where city employees can ignore or reject letters in bulk without affected motorists having any realistic recourse. That's not good enough for residents like Emily Miller, who told us that being able to present her case in person was essential. The Sunday school teacher was found not guilty at an administrative DMV hearing in June of driving with an open container of coffee. She was so thrilled with her victory that she decided to fight a parking ticket issued to her in a location where the parking signs were contradictory.
Motorists in many cities besides DC complain about unfair citations. So far, Baltimore, Maryland's Inspector General has uncovered 10,000 bogus parking tickets issued to innocent motorists. In Boston and other cities in Massachusetts, motorists cannot challenge a $100 parking ticket in court without first paying a $275 court fee. If found innocent, the motorist does not receive a refund of the $275.
Source: FY08 Performance Plan (Washington DC Department of Motor Vehicles, 11/9/2007)
Monday, November 12, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Monday, November 05, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
You have to have a little "me" time once in awhile. So this Friday, take a few more minutes on that smoke break. Take your time coming back from lunch, or don't come back at all if you can get away with it. Surf the Internets when you are supposed to be working. And while you do your actual work, don't give a 100%. Give 40%. You and I both know you're not getting paid as much as you're worth. Remember, you are the "me" in "team".
That's my motivational team-building snippit for Friday. Use it in staff meetings or at any other place where people are all like, "rah rah go team."
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Anywhoo, I am awesome. Oh yeah, they had beer and food at the end. That was cool.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
A Letcher County woman suffered a horrible injury early Thursday when her arm was severed in a car crash on the Mountain Parkway in Clark County.
Jacqueline Dotson and her six-year-old daughter had to be cut out of their vehicle after the accident in which Dotson veered into the median and over-corrected, rolling her truck over the guardrail and landing upside down after flipping several times.
Several people stopped to help, and it turns out, the good samaritans may very well have saved Dotson's life. Sheila Vice, a nurse's aide, and an off-duty EMT from another county stopped to help, and put a tourniquet on Dotson's arm to stop the bleeding. Her arm was found near the accident still clutching a cell phone.
"Basically we stayed there and talked to them until the EMT drivers got there," said Vice.
Rescuers used the jaws of life to get the Dotson and her daughter out of the truck. Both were flown to hospitals, and Dotson is listed in serious condition at UK Hospital. Her daughter is not in the hospital, and sheriff's officials say they believe she's going to be fine.
Both were wearing seat belts.
thanks barry! link
Probably the most popular video streaming site around has been busted by UK authorities.It's a sad day for streaming video fans everywhere as news has been reported that TVLinks has been shut down and the owner, a 26yo man from Chelteham in the UK, was arrested.
Though not hosting an actual content himself, and rather merely providing links to where particular titles can be found, he was nonetheless apparently charged for the "facilitation" of copyright infringement.
"Sites such as TV Links contribute to and profit from copyright infringement by identifying, posting, organizing, and indexing links to infringing content found on the internet that users can then view on demand by visiting these illegal sites," said a spokesman for Federation Against Copyright Theft (FACT) today.
What makes the charges so odd is that he was again, only providing LINKS to pirated content, and never actually hosted anything. Can linking really be considered "facilitation?" If I link to TVLinks am I then a co-conspirator?
Sunday, October 21, 2007
|#38 The Roald Dahl Omnibus||Roald Dahl||1993||* * * *||This is a book of short stories by the author of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, and James and the Giant Peach. But these aren't children's stories. These are stories about sex, poachers, cannibalism, murder, and a host of other adults hating or loving each other too much. The stories each have unique twists and surprise endings. These stories are entertaining and written in a way I've never seen before. ~ October 21, 2007|
See all my reviews at http://www.danmanning.com/37.php
Anywhoo, I'm just chillin' out today.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Agnorant: Someone who is simultaneously ignorant and arrogant.
Bluetool: Someone who wears their bluetooth thing in their ear all the time.
Multislacking: Slacking at multiple things at the same time.
Leave Britney Alone: If someone is bothering you, just interrupt them and say "Leave Britney Alone" and hopefully, they'll get the hint.
I dunno, I thought those were funny.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
|#37 Of Human Bondage||William Somerset Maugham||1915||* * * * *||Best book about a club-footed person ever! Seriously, this masterpiece captures the scope of human emotion, delves into the metaphysics while reading like a well-written tortured love story; love the meaning of life, the reason for art, the play of class and religion, the meaning of freedom. I have never read a book this boundless in its ability to move and inform the reader. This is a magnificent literary symphony of thought and emotion.|
~ ~ ~
We were civilians.
The war didn't rage really; there was just a steady flow of dead and dismembered soldiers whose names were on the Internet and on the news programs. The soldiers were black, Hispanic, white and Asian. Some of us paid attention and some of us didn't and some of us were devastated. If you didn't know any of the unlucky ones, then they were only statistics.
These statistics were given on the network news between the school shooting and the celebrity scandal stories. The numbers were tallied with somber patriotic video graphics. Maybe it was an American flag waving slowly, or maybe a combat boot-rifle-helmet combo. These graphics looked great on our high-def wide screen televisions. "What a shame," we said, shaking our heads. When the story about the latest breakthrough in the treatment of osteoporosis came on, we changed the channel to VH1 or ESPN and forgot all about the war.
We were civilians.
Some of us didn't think about the war at all.
With no draft, it was a voluntary thing to go to
If you could get a job and make decent money, there was no reason to go. If you came from a wealthy family, it didn't make any sense to go. And with the advent of yellow-ribbon car magnets, we had a convenient way to ease our conscience and support the troops at the same time.
That was our attitude anyway, and we went on with our lives as if nothing was wrong. Those were fascinating times, and we couldn't fit it into our busy schedules to enlist. We played newer and better video games, we surfed more rich and interactive websites on ever shinier and faster computers. If we didn't like the war, we could always say so on our blogs. We carried fancier, more feature-rich phones. We drove more technologically advanced cars, and while those cars were all built overseas, we didn't care because they had Ipod docks to give us music, GPS to give us direction, and DVD players to give us a break from the kids. Some of those vehicles got decent gas mileage, but most of them did not.
We were civilians.
Some of us drove massive pickup trucks and SUVs with shiny grills, and those things take gas. What a sense of awesome power these behemoths bestowed upon us as we moved between desk and cubicle and home and hearth. These machines carried us back and forth to work so we could pay our crazy mortgages.
We were civilians.
We didn't have time to go fight a war. Reality shows were coming up with more interesting twists. Starlets and singers were in and out of rehab. These were interesting times.
There were new drugs to keep us thin and happy. They put us to sleep at night. They calmed our restless legs and gave us everlasting erections. We had a pill for everything, so we were happy.
We were civilians.
Were other people making sacrifices? Sure, but we were willing to pay that price. Now we had a military base over the precious, sweet, life-giving
With no draft, the rest of us could take it easy. There were sporting events to watch and alcohol to drink. We were civilians, and we did what our President asked us to do.
We went shopping.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Read it and weep asswipes! If you cut your hair, you aren't a Christian. Ha ha ha ha ha. The bible says it, so let it be done you heathen bastards! Start growing it out boys and girls, or you will burn in the everlasting fires of Hell. Ha!
DETROIT -- The American Civil Liberties Union of Michigan won a religious liberty lawsuit Wednesday on behalf of a ninth-grader who refused to obey a school’s dress code that required boys to maintain “closely cropped” hairstyles.
Judge Kathleen Macdonald at the Wayne County Circuit Court ruled on Wednesday that Claudius Benson cannot be expelled and will return to the public charter school, Old Redford Academy in Detroit.
Benson, 14, was enrolled in Old Redford Academy for three days when he was suspended on grounds that he was not in compliance with the hair provisions of the school’s dress code.
Benson’s mother said she strictly abides by various Old Testament provisions, including a passage in the book of Leviticus that forbids the cutting of hair: “Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of your beard,” Leviticus 19:27
Monday, October 01, 2007
Check out this awesome Nintendo themed scarf. She only made one, otherwise, it would make a great gift.
Found at http://www.boingboing.net/2007/09/30/mario-villains-scarf.html
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
"Tennis ball, $2.50 for can of three
The MacGyver remedy. Or, as I like to call it, fetching with Pavlov's dog. Put a tennis ball in a sock, and then safety pin the sock to the middle of the back of a T-shirt. When you sleep in this T-shirt, it's painful to sleep on your back, so you turn on your side, where you're less likely to snore. If you sleep with the sock enough, your sleep self will supposedly associate sleeping on your back with pain, and you won't need the T-shirt anymore.
I'm not used to sleeping with a shirt on, so this—not to mention the heavy sock tugging at the back—took some getting used to. Also, it is surprisingly painful to have a Wilson jut into your back. But the remedy worked immediately. The morning after the first night, Elizabeth reported no snoring. I felt great, too. The second night, my deceitful sleep self did manage to outmaneuver the sock, swinging the tennis ball between my arm and side, allowing me to sleep on my back and snore. But the next day I adjusted the sock so that it was tighter against the shirt and could not be stretched out. For the rest of the trial, there was no snoring.
By the fifth night, I was attached to the ensemble. There was something ritualistic about putting the shirt on every night, and the thought of moving on to test another remedy made me sad. Elizabeth loved it, too. Improbably, she even found the get-up cute, which solidified this remedy's place as the clear winner."
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
So sleep well America, Big Brother is watching over you.
War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Man dies after 3-day gaming binge
BEIJING, China -- A man in southern China appears to have died of exhaustion after a three-day Internet gaming binge, state media said Monday.
The 30-year-old man fainted at a cyber cafe in the city of Guangzhou Saturday afternoon after he had been playing games online for three days, the Beijing News reported.
Paramedics tried to revive him but failed and he was declared dead at the cafe, it said. The paper said that he may have died from exhaustion brought on by too many hours on the Internet.
The report did not say what the man, whose name was not given, was playing.
The report said that about 100 other Web surfers "left the cafe in fear after witnessing the man's death."
China has 140 million Internet users, second only to the U.S.. It is one of the world's biggest markets for online games, with tens of millions of players, many of whom hunker down for hours in front of PCs in public Internet cafes.
Several cities have clinics to treat what psychiatrists have dubbed "Internet addiction" in users, many of them children and teenagers, who play online games or surf the Web for days at a time.
Friday, September 14, 2007
|#35 When Will Jesus Bring The Porkchops?||George Carlin||2004||* * *||This book is both very good and very bad. The entire thing is just little sections of thoughts and ideas. He has parts that are fiction, and these parts are damn near unreadable. But his observations about society and language are fantastic. His non-fiction is hilarious. His fiction is atrocious. The nice thing is, you can spot the fiction and non-fiction pretty quick, so you end up skipping the horrible fake character sketches and sketch comedy scripts and focus on his take on euphemisms and observations. Well worth the half-read. ~ September 08, 2007|
|#36 The Communist Manifesto||Karl Marx and Frederick Engels||1848||* * *||The first part was great, but the last part had some crazy ideas about women. Plus, once the revolution is over, somebody's going to take the place of the bourgeoisie aren't they? ~ September 12, 2007|
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Read all my awesome book reviews by following this awesome link.
Friday, September 07, 2007
There is a lot of preparation involved with killing an angel: First, they forge crossbow bolts from the iron collected from the wrecks of cars where teenagers have died in late-night, country-road accidents fueled by alcohol and wide-eyed innocence. Then they dip those crossbow bolts in the tears of children kept in abusive after-school child-care facilities.
After that, sexually abused adult alter-boys with questionable hygiene climb peaks in the Andes Mountains and wait. The angels, unaware that they are in danger, often fly around mountain passes playing their harps, because they are bored out of their minds from an eternity of problem-free existence, and no cable television.
Finally, the alter boys shoot the angles with their crossbows. When the angels fall to the ground, their heads are shaved and the hair is taken to the angel hair pasta factory and turned into angel hair pasta.
That’s why I will never eat angel hair pasta.
If you registered for the national "do not call" list, it expires in 5 years.
But don't worry, you can go to https://www.donotcall.gov and register again.
The website, being a government website, doesn't have the word RENEW anywhere, because that would be way too easy.
There is a VERIFY button, and a REGISTER button, but of course, no RENEW button anywhere.
I used the VERIFY button to see that my number would drop off the list in June of '08.
I just REGISTERED, and now it doesn't drop off until 2012.
That is my public service announcement for this week. May each and every one of you have a somewhat satisfying day.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
You can read all about the awesomeness of my reading at: dan's book reviews.
Other than that, I’ve been fixing computers and setting up networks. And I’ve been running and or jogging. Lots and lots of running: for me anyway. I’m running 4 miles three times a week. Yes, that’s it, I’m bragging, and I’m not ashamed to admit it!
You can see the awesomeness of my running at: workoutdump.com
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Today I did yard work, yard work, and yard work. I weeded, thatched, mowed fertilized, and planted mums. Yes, that’s right. I planted mums. That doesn’t make me gay.
I also ran 4 miles.
And I read about two hundred pages of the fifth Harry Potter book.
Monday, August 20, 2007
That is all.
Monday, August 13, 2007
After that, a new Vista laptop with docking station. I hate docking stations. A docking station on a laptop is like an airplane drink-cart duct-taped to an Olympic sprinter. It’s a big, stupid Steven-Hawking-Wheelchair on a ballet dancer. They are stupid, I hate them, and that’s all there is to it. But I will gladly set them up for money.
And then we enjoyed the Harry Potter movie marathon. We got the last two DVDs in today, and we watched them both, back to back. Those movies are LOOOOONG.
Oh yeah, and Karl Rove quit today. That fat bastard.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
I went to my writer’s group, but only one other person showed up. We talked about nothing for fifteen minutes and then I went across the street and got another iPod. I’ll try not to wash this one this time.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
I figured out some new running routs with the gmaps pedometer (thanks bri!) and I’m going to run somewhere beside around the block tomorrow morning.
My toe really hurts.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Sunday, August 05, 2007
I’ve been plotting my book out, mulling it over and planning before I set one word down in the first draft. Planning. What a concept huh?
I’m running again, and I’m losing some weight. My gut has no chance against my awesomeness now.
I bought the movie 300, the violence is a work of pure art.
Talked to Barry on the phone, cleaned the toilet, reformatted a couple of machines, cleaned the pool, put up a tire swing, cut my toenails, drank some tea, read a book, read another book, watched television, ate a grapefruit, went to some garage sales, stopped smoking, etcetera and so forth.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
I’m plotting out a new bestselling novel. I’ve found a way to plot it all out first so it doesn’t go to shit in the first couple of chapters.
I’ve slept on my neck wrong for two days in a row, and it’s pissing me off, because it is like having a hangover, but I haven’t had any beer. What a rip!
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Savannah and I saw the latest Harry Potter movie. It was pretty dark and action packed. It was pretty good.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
Even if Keira Knightley, and a bunch of other equally hot girls formed a soccer league and played in bikinis, I’d probably only watch a couple of times. . . no wait, I might tune in to that program more than once, but that’s about the only way I’d watch soccer. And then only if at the end, they mud-wrestled.
Because soccer is boring. I know that we Americans should join in the international sport, so that a global sense of fellowship and some kind of common spirit would traverse the globe, eventually resulting in international peace and goodwill.
But really, the only time soccer is interesting is when there is a big drunken riot, and then only when the good parts of the riots are condensed into a four minute montage on one of those “Shocking Video” shows you see on the spike channel.
And oh yeah, when that one dude head-butted that other dude. That was cool.
So, I know the LA Whatchamacallits are banking on Beckham drawing a crowd to American soccer. I understand that he’s the Michael Jordan of soccer and all that, but the coolest thing about him, to me at least, is that he’s tagging Posh Spice. That means he’s cool. That fact that he’s good at soccer? Meh, whatever.
So good luck American Soccer people. When Beckham shows up on “The Surreal Life” with a pot-belly and a drinking problem with Lance Armstrong and Maria Sharapova, then we’ll know he’s really made it.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Donnie Iris’s “Ah Leah” is a great friggin’ song. The vocals are awesome. The simple base line and sonic wave of sound, especially in a good set of earphones, rocks. The guitar solo, probably sixteen notes long, is simple, yet it would peel the paint off the wall if cranked up enough.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Sunday, July 01, 2007
THIS BOOK HAS NOT BEEN CONDENSED, ITS BULK IS LESS BECAUSE GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS PROHIBIT USE OF HEAVIER PAPER.
My fascination with everything Paris Hilton is finally wearing off. For awhile there, I had to know what she was doing every minute of every day, and I had no shortage of "news" outlets that were more than willing to give me everything I wanted. Actually, I'm being sarcastic. Sort of. London is getting attacked by terrorists. I’m already sick of all the presidential candidates on both sides.
I’m watering my lawn. I’m going to have a rum-and-club-soda-with-lime in a few minutes. I’m reading The Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham. I looked this edition up on the Internets, and somebody’s selling one for $350.00 bucks. This book has the following stamped on the backside of the title page:
THIS BOOK HAS NOT BEEN CONDENSED, ITS BULK IS LESS BECAUSE GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS PROHIBIT USE OF HEAVIER PAPER.
I think they must have been rationing paper or something for the war? It came out in 1944.
Anywhoo, Deb and the girls are visiting her mom today, so I got the place to myself. I’m going to have a drink, a smoke, and a sit on the porch, and I’m going to read.
I’ve been trying to catch my secret crush Maria Sharapova at the Wimbledon, but I keep missing it. I keep catching the guys playing tennis, and who wants to watch that crap? That's almost as pointless as watching men's beach volleyball. Makes no sense whatsoever.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
A book about a pedophile obsessed with fucking twelve-year-old girls. I got half-way through. The first half was about him trying to get the girl, actually marrying Lolita's mother in order to get near the girl. That part was okay. But once he got the girl, well, it got boring after that. No, there weren't any sex scenes, but it was depressing enough as it is. While it was well written, the last half really sucked ass as it becomes a dismal tour of American tourist traps and motels.
see more reviews at http://www.danmanning.com/37.php
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Yoko breaks silence to reveal Lennon's last words
By Andrew Johnson
Published: 10 June 2007
For 40 years Yoko Ono has kept a silent dignity in the face of global vilification meted out by legions of Beatles fans.
But today, in an emotional interview, she reveals the last words her husband John Lennon uttered moments before he was gunned down on a New York street in 1980 by Mark Chapman.
"I said 'shall we go and have dinner before we go home?' and John said 'No, let's go home because I want to see Sean before he goes to sleep'," Ono, 73, told Kirsty Young on 'Desert Island Discs'.
Young then asked Ono if Lennon had said anything after he was shot, to which she replied in almost a whisper: "No."
Ono, a conceptual artist, admitted that she would never be more than "the wife of an ex-Beatle".
Choosing Edith Piaf's "Je Ne Regrette Rien" as one of her discs, she added: "I regret nothing, too."
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Otherwise, I have nothing to report.
Oh, did you see this?
Friday, June 01, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
So suck up that gas, and happy driving!
Today I got paid to set up a Nintendo Wii. :)
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Finally, after forty minutes, NIS failed to uninstall and I had to download the “Norton Removal Tool.” From Norton’s site. It really says something when software is so bloated that the software’s website has to offer a special tool to perform an exorcism in order to rid a machine of the very software they spewed in the first place.
After that, another half-hour removing Norton System Works, another work of pure genius.
When everything was done, the machine running again and I had endured 2 hours of mind-numbing interrogation.
I dropped off a PC to a nice couple with a pit-bull. They said it wasn’t a pit bull, but I think it was.
Otherwise, I worked on my short story, which is finally coming together, what with a satanic pregnancy, a talking wall mural, and a reclusive artist with an effeminate man-servant.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
|A People's History of The United States||Howard Zinn||2003||* * * * *||Probably the most eye-opening book I've every read. Forget the bullshit history they taught you in school. This is the real deal. You wouldn't believe some of the shit we've pulled. Read this book only if you want the wool away from your eyes. ~ May 23, 2007|
read all my book reviews at my book review page.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Savannah's class went first at the band concert, and I enjoyed that because she was up there, and she sounded great. Then the other class performed, and usually, when my child isn't up on stage, it is really boring, but they played THE THEME FROM STAR WARS and that made it somewhat bearable.
Monday, May 21, 2007
And I suppose it has to be this way, because we are simply primates. I saw a show on television once where one band of chimpanzees raided another band that was encroaching on their turf. They just bum-rushed the other group and the other group scrambled, but one baby chimp was too slow and the aggressors ate that baby chimp. And we all know how cute baby chimps are. . . It was a show of force to grab territory.
We're like, one chromosome away from being chimps.
And that’s how we are. So everything we do makes sense. And every stupid conflict you see on television makes sense. We’re a bunch of chimps that will stop at nothing to advance our group and crush the other group, no matter what.
And on that pleasant note, I wish you all a good night.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Tuesday's league of golf was disappointingly dampened by rain. My golf was marred by my own lack of performance, which was written almost entirely in the passive tense. Mistakes were made. The resultant chill from damp clothes gave me that "not so fresh" feeling and I was deeply saddened.
My recent failure to correct a Gateway PC turned into what can only be described as an ongoing investigation, about which I would rather not comment.
Overall this week has been routine.
My daughter's birthday, with her annual allotment of non-political gifts was a bright spot. The birthday festivities, coming on the heels of Mother's Day, reminded me of my commitment to family values, and the sanctity of life, as long as that sanctity does and/or does not infringe on a woman's constitutional right to choose or un-choose, despite my own personal feelings on the matter.
I am looking forward to answering all of your questions via email, and I am cautiously optimistic about the next looming crisis that we will undoubtedly face in the coming weeks, months, and/or years. Working together in a bipartisan fashion, I believe we will meet these challenges, probably in the only way we know how, with overwhelming air superiority.
And to those of you out there who question my resolve; I leave you with this final thought: I will continue to make blog posts, despite the grinding existential banality I am faced with. I will continue to mock my fellow man, while glossing over my own shortcomings. I will ignore my own faults and simultaneously point out those same imperfections in others. And while my uninteresting lameness may initially seem like a weakness, while my generic ordinary condition may scream out for my resignation as an aging loser with a blog, I will not be deterred.
And while the stale unresponsiveness of my blog may compel others to declare it dead, and to argue that it is time to pull its feeding tube, I am not ready to declare it dead; for I still have hope. I still believe interesting things can and will happen, and when they do, I believe I will write those things down in the form of proud, freedom-loving words. And with vigilance, I will be proud to cut and paste those words here, and hopefully, you will waste at least one minute of your day reading those same words, shake your head in solemn disappointment, and then close your browser wistfully, and wonder why you bothered in the first place. And I would like to echo that question now: Why bother?
In conclusion, I'd like to wish all of you a happy (and wholesome) Upcoming Weekend, and remind you to drink responsibly, drive carefully, but don't do those two activities at the same time because that would be not only illegal, but dangerous.
Thank you, good night, and may God bless these United States.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
I mowed the lawn yesterday. The moles are dead; the poison I bought at Lowes seems to work. I did a reformat; I picked it up yesterday and delivered it this morning.
I’ve been reading Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States and it is a real eye-opener. I suggest every single one of you read this book. There is a lot of history I didn’t know about.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
May 9, 2007Hey kids: Don't know who your congressman is? Simply Google this: "congressman for 12345" where 12345 is your zip code. Then find out what the f*ck is going on and write a letter. You'll get a form letter back, because YOU aren't a big-time lobbyist for an big corporate interest.
Congressman Vernon J. Ehlers
1714 Longworth House Office Building
Washington, DC 20515-2203
Subject: Habeas Corpus
The Military Commissions Act cancelled habeas corpus. (I know that’s an oversimplification, but I’m a simple taxpayer.)
Could you please talk to Congressman Jerrold Nadler and find out what he’s doing to restore habeas corpus and help him do it? It will make you look like one of the good guys.
Can’t the USA go through one crisis without shredding the Constitution? Please don’t sit back and let our rights be chipped away every time we’re faced with a difficult patch.
How about sending a real letter back instead of a form letter? This is kind of important.
. . . .
Monday, May 07, 2007
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Anywhoo, if you get a chance to see them, see them.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Not complaining; work is work, and that’s a good thing. It looks like a giant robot threw up in my office, there are computer parts strewn everywhere. I have to do some cleaning soon.
I spent the weekend cutting firewood, and that's about all I did. It is stacked so nicely. Sometimes I just go out back and gaze at my ultimate firewood stacks.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
I came home and Lo, for in the East there I beheld a sign: FREE FIREWOOD. I went forth, and did take a cart around the corner, where many cubits of cherry wood awaited me so that I might take rightful possession. Then with the cart did I take the wood to the backyard, where I stacked it in accordance with the Laws of Gravity. And Lo, my back did hurteth. And so did I use the Saw of Chains to reduce it, and I did stack it according to the laws of Stacking.
And I revealed unto my Wife that which I had lay hidden for a fortnight: The World of Warcraft installation CD, purchased for 2 American dollars. And Yea did she allow it to be Installed, on the grounds that it would perish within another fortnight, for it is the Software of Trials.
Verily, a message came from the Sky Tower, and another customer forsooth must needs me to fix the Accursed Norton, which forbade the new Vista to speak with the Network Server.
Thus went Tuesday.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Oh Media, I can't avoid you; I have an unhealthy urge to know what's going on. That's why I can't avoid noticing your absolute obsession with Cho Seung-Hui. He's on the TV news, news websites, and the papers. I suppose he'll grace the covers of TIME and NEWSWEEK. He's mugging into the camera, pointing his guns, making crazy speeches. I can't see how it is news. OK, we get it, he was a wacko.
How many copycats are out there thinking, "yeah, I could do that, I could be famous." How much has this wall-to-wall coverage of The Cho Show are you guys going to air? When does the DVD come out? When is the made for TV movie?
By giving Cho his moment in the sun, postmortem, you're just giving the next wacko more motivation to get famous. By declaring it, even on the day it happened the "Deadliest shooting in U.S. History," or "Deadliest shooting rampage in U.S. history," and "Deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history," you're setting a mark for the next crazy guy with a gun: "Can you break this record crazy people? The score to beat is 32!"
Report the news. I don't need to know Cho Seung-Hui's shoe size. By "glamorizing" this insane person, you're just egging on the next guy. Report that he left a goofy manifesto and some lame videos, but don't plaster his videos up everywhere for ratings. Don't worry, we'll sit through your damn commercials. . . .
Monday, April 16, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
I thought about taking a run, but didn’t. I watched 5 episodes of “Frasier.” I spoke to Barry on the phone. I spread fertilizer on my lawn. I spoke to the neighbor, Sharon briefly about how to kill moles.
I played tug-of-war with the dog. I read some more. I watched some more television. I played catch with my daughter.
I got a headache, and realized I had forgotten to drink coffee. I drank coffee.
I updated my blog.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
[Scientists] . . . are putting forward the theory that radiation given off by mobile phones and other hi-tech gadgets is a possible answer to one of the more bizarre mysteries ever to happen in the natural world - the abrupt disappearance of the bees that pollinate crops. Late last week, some bee-keepers claimed that the phenomenon - which started in the US, then spread to continental Europe - was beginning to hit Britain as well.
The implications of the spread are alarming. Most of the world's crops depend on pollination by bees. Albert Einstein once said that if the bees disappeared, "man would have only four years of life left".
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Here’s an example: Let’s say you have a neighbor, let’s call him Bob. You might loan him a wrench, or watch football with him, or borrow a book, or marry his son/daughter. Whatever. You and Bob live next door to each other and you are friends.
Why is Bob your neighbor? What random set of circumstances caused Bob to live next door to you?
A realtor is involved in most home purchases. Some random realtor showed Bob a random set of houses that were available at the time, and he picked one. The same goes for you. You probably bought your house using a realtor. If you didn’t, just play along anyway. This is a hypothetical.
Had you (or Bob) picked a different realtor or a different house or a different time to move, Bob wouldn’t be Bob at all. He’d be someone else entirely.
Let’s say living next door to Bob results in you getting married. (You stole his wife, or you married his son or daughter, or you met someone at a cookout or party Bob throws one evening.) You get married and have kids. Your kids grow up and have kids. (This is all hypothetical, play along here folks)
The existence of your children and your grandchildren hinges on the lives and careers of two realtors, people who have probably been long forgotten.
What if you had bought from a different realtor? What if you had purchased a different home? What life choices did that realtor make to put him in your town at the time when your career and life put you in the position to buy a home?
Your entire life could hinge on when you called the realtor’s office. Let’s say at 9:06 AM Realtor #1 takes a bathroom break, and is away from his desk. You call at 9:06 and 30 seconds. Realtor #2 picks up your call, because Realtor #1 is in the bathroom, away from his desk. Normally Realtor #1 would have gotten this call, but not this time.
You chat with Realtor #2 and decide she’ll show you some available houses. She shows you a different set of houses, or maybe the same set of houses, only in a different order. Bob does not become your next-door neighbor. You never meet the spouse you would have had Realtor #1 simply skipped that second cup of coffee before coming to work.
Your entire life forks to a different future because a realtor you will never meet has an extra cup of coffee and has to go to the restroom to pee.
And this single detail is only rendered after your parents’ choices, your teachers’ influences, your education, your career path, your boss’s career path, traffic accidents, weather patterns, political events, social changes, stock market, and the economy have set everything up.
#2: Why “you” are even “you” in the first place.
And didn’t your parents and their parents end up creating YOU because of a set of random circumstances? How did they meet? Why did they meet? Ask them.
“Oh, I was planning to stay home that night but so and so had a cold so I went . . .”
“I was in line at the DMV when I look over and see this beautiful girl . . .”
“He was going through a difficult divorce, and I just happen to . . .”
#3: What We Can and Can’t Influence
We are responsible for our actions, we are responsible for our choices, but we are powerless over the set of choices we have at any point in time.
We can, however, try to influence our set of choices in the future, by bettering ourselves and building our careers (or by slacking off). We are not powerless in that. But we are completely at the whim of chance regarding our past set of choices and circumstances.
You cannot choose your parents. You cannot choose your grandparents. You cannot choose the subset of humans you have to pick from when choosing a mate. You cannot choose the subset of humans you can pick as friends.
You can choose from the subset. You can’t choose the subset itself.
#4: Yeah, that would be fantastic, but . . .
It would be great if there was a god. It would be nice if we were here for a purpose. I wish there were some intrinsic meaning to our lives. It would be nice if we carried on after we die. It would even be nice if there were such a thing as “luck.” But there’s not. Get that through your head now, and things will make sense a lot quicker.
It would be nice if these things existed, but they don’t; it is delusional to think that these things exist. God, spirits, ghosts, Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and the Holy Spirit: All of these things are fantasies.
This is the world and everything in it: We are a bunch of primates riding on a speck of dust hurtling through the universe for no reason whatsoever.
Oh, and by the way, stop crapping on Atheists. You don’t choose not to believe in God any more that you choose not to believe in Superman. You just know it’s a load of bullshit.
#5: Religion: I believe in the Power of Vaginas
What is religion? What is belief? Let me ask you this: What is the difference between a religion and a cult? What if the Chinese instead of the Europeans had discovered North America and taken it from the Native Americans? Would Christianity be practices in the United States? A United States that doesn’t exist?
Why do you practice the faith you practice? Is it the same faith as your parents? I hate to break this to you believers, but the set of beliefs you hold is not a function of faith, it is a function of which vagina you came out of, and nothing more. Is it a coincidence that most Christians have Christian parents? I think not.
#6: Death: When you’re dead, that’s it.
One choice leads to another leads to another. And then you die.
Here’s what happens when you die: Nothing.
You stop functioning, your body starts to decompose, and hopefully, somebody puts you in the ground. That’s it.
The world keeps turning, but you’re no longer around to know it. People get up for work, they fight wars, make babies, whatever.
Your family and friends get together; they put you in the ground, cry, and get on with making their choices and living their lives. Until it’s their turn.
#7: It isn’t all doom and gloom . . .
If there’s meaning, you make it yourself. You have the warm sun, family, and friends. There are a lot of things to enjoy in this life. Be good to one another, stop fighting, listen to music, watch a movie, and read a good book once in awhile. Have a beer. Enjoy this life now, because, well, see #6.