Thursday, December 29, 2016

2016 In Review

This year that thing happened and we were all like, NO WAY! And some people were naked too much, and others were wearing suits and they spoke into microphones. Then some political stuff happened, and we were like, NO WAY! ARGUE ARGUE ARGUE! But then something new happened, probably on television or in the news.

Some good TV series ended or began, and some people were like, THIS IS SO AWESOME, and others were like, "Meh."

There were some award shows, where men wore tuxedos and women showed off their boobies, and everyone was like, "She looked this way or that!"

Then some science stuff happened, and robots. Just last year, we were all thinking, I can't believe 2015 is already over with, there was so much bullshit. What bullshit is going to happen next? And bullshit DID happen. This year we are all thinking, I can't believe 2016 is over with, there was so much bullshit, What bullshit is going to happen next?

Sports and award shows, and weather happened. There were some emergencies. Some people got all shot up and we were all sad for a few days, but then sports happened.

And economy. Gas prices were one price, and then another. There were jobs and stuff, or no jobs, and men in ties stood at microphones and said some stuff.

So anyway. Freedom 2017.

Thursday, December 22, 2016


Virtual Reality is all the rage, and will soon be everywhere. But I'd like to tell you about something even better.

Actual-Reality Orbs are biologic devices that use light waves to transmit signals DIRECTLY INTO THE BRAIN. Using light refraction technology, if you move your arm, you can actually SEE your arm move. (H.A.N.D.S.) can be used to pick up actual objects in the real world. Audio collectors are located on the sides of the cranium, to deliver High-Fidelity sound directly to the brain.

Physics and gravity aren't only simulated, but actuated by unseen forces that work automatically. Set an object down, it stays there! Momentum, velocity, mass and energy are all synthesized using seamless physics that seem to work all by themselves! It's REAL!

The detail is amazing. Just look around. There are buildings, landscapes, rooms, and weather patterns! Rotate your head left or right, and your perspective rotates as well. Now you can see MORE real objects in the real world. So many objects! Maybe too many. Move them away from yourself if you feel crowded. You might feel crowded. Arrange them any way you want! Use in-game credits to accumulate more objects, or get rid of objects. The choice is yours!

Move around this actual world using (F.E.E.T.) ambulatory technology.

Other players look so real! The people you see in the game are other people, who are also playing in a realistic ACTUAL world. Communicate and interact with other players to unlock various secrets and bonus activities. You could spend a literal lifetime with your new friends (and rivals!). EVERYONE is into actual reality, whether they like it or not!

Experience is earned by repetitive activity. There are different levels. The game starts with the player having almost no abilities, but as the game goes on, the player collects experiences and develops skills. These skills can be used to earn CREDITS, which can be used as actual money. Money can be traded with other players for actual goods and services. It's an imperfect conceptual fabrication, but it works well enough!

There are lots of activities in this ACTUAL WORLD available while using your A.R.O. technology. Literally BILLIONS of players are already playing, collecting credits based on performing lots of tasks, like cooking actual food for others, selling vehicles or household items, or arranging symbols by tapping little squares. There are various rules and limitations put in place to make things interesting.

The game seems to be based on various boxes. Get lucky, or play the game right, you get to spend your time in a FANCY box. Break the rules, and you get put into a PENALTY box, (unless you have lots of credits.) You will probably end up in a AVERAGE box. Make sure you have some kind of box, because weather.

At the end of the game, you are placed in a TINY box.

Surprise! You're already playing. Good luck, play nice. For a limited time only. Act now! Actual reality: try it today!

Monday, December 19, 2016

Thursday, November 17, 2016

I wrote you another book. You can order it at

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Cheese Bus

...What biblical scholars are wrestling with is how to inform the public and theological leaders that interpretations of ancient scripture must be re-examined after a mistake in translation, dating back to antiquity, has revealed that what has always been taken for the Lord's name, "Jesus," is really a mistaken translation for the two words, "Cheese Bus."

"It isn't figurative," Professor ______ of the _______ institute said on Friday. "An actual bus made of cheese, according to these new, more accurate translations, will ferry souls to the afterlife."

The type of cheese is unknown at this time. "We're working on newly discovered texts, but it may take several months to decipher."

In the meantime, the official announcement is proving difficult to make.

"People will not be happy about this," the professor said. "Believers around the world have been praying to a anthropomorphic deity, when really, it seems as if it is some sort of school bus made of cheese. There's no mention of a driver. I guess it drives itself."

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

"Black on Black" crime has nothing to do with "Cop-on-Black" crime.

Why comparing "black on black" crime with cops murdering unarmed Americans doesn't make sense:

There are white criminals.
There are black criminals.

For the foreseeable future, there will always be criminals, and there will always be crime. Criminals do violent things sometimes, because they are criminals. They are expected to do harmful, destructive, and sometimes deadly anti-social things. That's what criminals do.

Most criminals aren't organized into tidy hierarchical groups. They don't show up for work and have a staff meeting. They aren't accountable for their actions, and they don't get structured training.

You can't call a meeting for all criminals. "Hey criminals, we're going to have a meeting and discuss procedure. Maybe we could find ways for you to shoot people less often."

Police officers, on the other hand, are not supposed to do harmful, destructive, sometimes deadly things. But some police officers do. Police officers, however, are organized into hierarchical groups. They show up for work and write their names down on rosters. They receive structured training.

Police officers can be called into meetings. They can receive better training. They can be told, "Hey, we're going to have a meeting and discuss procedure. Maybe we could find ways for you to shoot people less often."

If a white civilian kills another white civilian, and a week later, a cop kills a white civilian, no one says, "Well, there is white-on-white crime, therefore, it is okay for cops to kill white people."

The logic just isn't there. It isn't even an argument. Those pointing out black-on-black crime as some sort of defense or rationalization of cop-on-black crime should ask themselves why they are defending not fixing something that could be fixed.

paid vacation for murdering Americans

They shouldn't play the "National Anthem" at sporting events until this bullshit stops.

They should play Public Enemy's "Fight the Power," and no one should stand up, because no one should be in the stands.

There should be a boycott in place. No buying superfluous bullshit until these shootings stop. Empty stands. Fancy new phones (built by slaves, by the way) should remain in their boxes. New cars and big fancy trucks should remain in their lots while nervous salesmen chew gum.

There should be a boycott until these uniformed butchers are thrown in jail instead of given paid vacations for murdering Americans. Sports bars should remain empty while the screens there display empty stadiums and teams playing third and fourth string players because all the good players on strike.

Mess with the bottom line of these large companies, and suddenly there would be justice, transparency, and reform, because phone calls like this would happen: "Hey Congressman so and so, remember all those bribes we gave you? Well do something about these cop bullshit. This boycott is making our shareholders slightly less rich. This is now an emergency situation. We bought you for a reason."

But that won't happen. Most people don't give a shit, but OH MY GOD BRAD AND ANGELINA BROKE UP . . .

Are you ready for some football? Of course.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

About Me

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I am the author of 8 books: Android Down, Firewood for Cannibals, Brain Giblets, The Cubicles of Madness, Booze and News, Get Your Zen On, Zen Happens, and most recently, Robot Stories. I live and write in Michigan. My website is at

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