Thursday, November 17, 2016

I wrote you another book. You can order it at

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Cheese Bus

...What biblical scholars are wrestling with is how to inform the public and theological leaders that interpretations of ancient scripture must be re-examined after a mistake in translation, dating back to antiquity, has revealed that what has always been taken for the Lord's name, "Jesus," is really a mistaken translation for the two words, "Cheese Bus."

"It isn't figurative," Professor ______ of the _______ institute said on Friday. "An actual bus made of cheese, according to these new, more accurate translations, will ferry souls to the afterlife."

The type of cheese is unknown at this time. "We're working on newly discovered texts, but it may take several months to decipher."

In the meantime, the official announcement is proving difficult to make.

"People will not be happy about this," the professor said. "Believers around the world have been praying to a anthropomorphic deity, when really, it seems as if it is some sort of school bus made of cheese. There's no mention of a driver. I guess it drives itself."

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

"Black on Black" crime has nothing to do with "Cop-on-Black" crime.

Why comparing "black on black" crime with cops murdering unarmed Americans doesn't make sense:

There are white criminals.
There are black criminals.

For the foreseeable future, there will always be criminals, and there will always be crime. Criminals do violent things sometimes, because they are criminals. They are expected to do harmful, destructive, and sometimes deadly anti-social things. That's what criminals do.

Most criminals aren't organized into tidy hierarchical groups. They don't show up for work and have a staff meeting. They aren't accountable for their actions, and they don't get structured training.

You can't call a meeting for all criminals. "Hey criminals, we're going to have a meeting and discuss procedure. Maybe we could find ways for you to shoot people less often."

Police officers, on the other hand, are not supposed to do harmful, destructive, sometimes deadly things. But some police officers do. Police officers, however, are organized into hierarchical groups. They show up for work and write their names down on rosters. They receive structured training.

Police officers can be called into meetings. They can receive better training. They can be told, "Hey, we're going to have a meeting and discuss procedure. Maybe we could find ways for you to shoot people less often."

If a white civilian kills another white civilian, and a week later, a cop kills a white civilian, no one says, "Well, there is white-on-white crime, therefore, it is okay for cops to kill white people."

The logic just isn't there. It isn't even an argument. Those pointing out black-on-black crime as some sort of defense or rationalization of cop-on-black crime should ask themselves why they are defending not fixing something that could be fixed.

paid vacation for murdering Americans

They shouldn't play the "National Anthem" at sporting events until this bullshit stops.

They should play Public Enemy's "Fight the Power," and no one should stand up, because no one should be in the stands.

There should be a boycott in place. No buying superfluous bullshit until these shootings stop. Empty stands. Fancy new phones (built by slaves, by the way) should remain in their boxes. New cars and big fancy trucks should remain in their lots while nervous salesmen chew gum.

There should be a boycott until these uniformed butchers are thrown in jail instead of given paid vacations for murdering Americans. Sports bars should remain empty while the screens there display empty stadiums and teams playing third and fourth string players because all the good players on strike.

Mess with the bottom line of these large companies, and suddenly there would be justice, transparency, and reform, because phone calls like this would happen: "Hey Congressman so and so, remember all those bribes we gave you? Well do something about these cop bullshit. This boycott is making our shareholders slightly less rich. This is now an emergency situation. We bought you for a reason."

But that won't happen. Most people don't give a shit, but OH MY GOD BRAD AND ANGELINA BROKE UP . . .

Are you ready for some football? Of course.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

When someone overshares:

"This has been fascinating. You know, a journal is a great, great place for private thoughts."

Stolen from the "Lady Dynamite" series (Netflix)

Friday, June 17, 2016

the answer is bribes.

the answer is bribes. Bribery. It's about bribery and nothing else. also money. and bribes. It's that simple. lawmakers love money, and so do gun manufacturers. money is awesome, you guys!  so bribes. pretty simple. it's that simple. bribes. ask yourself why you never hear the word "bribe" in the news. bribes are legal now, so why not bribe? because bribes. a lot of that bribe money gets funneled to media outlets, so bribes. you never hear the word bribes because bribes. bribes bribes, bribes. Bribety bribe Bribey-McBribeface bribe bribe.


Sunday, June 05, 2016

My Unsolicited Political Opinion

Donald Trump is not the problem. True, he's terrible and unqualified, but he is not the real problem.  

The real problem: there are too many people in a "first world" industrialized nation willing to make Donald Trump the candidate for a major political party.  

It would be, in a sane world, a surprise to find five thinking adults in any county with the opinion that Mr. Trump should be POTUS, but it seems as though this is not a sane world.

This phenomenon is not unique. There are Trump-adjacent leaders "winning" in other countries: bigots, xenophobes, non-thinking showmen who feed on the worst aspects of nervous people.  

There are enough people in this nation to possibly make Donald Trump our next President.

That's the problem.  

Donald Trump is a symptom of something far more sinister.

                                 * * *   

That said, Secretary Clinton is not the answer.

As she will probably be the only other choice on the ballot, she'll have to do, but she is not helping.

Any thinking person, even someone bitter about not having any other choice, should vote for Secretary Clinton if for no other reason than to avoid allowing Mr. Trump into the White House.  

Hillary Clinton represents the status quo: a government that only caters to influential special interests. She seems to be bribed up to her eyeballs. She has been in the system far too long; she is very comfortable with how the gears are greased with favors and money. But she'll have to do. Anything to keep Donald Trump out of the White House, right?

People in the general population feel increasingly ignored in a country run on bribery and cronyism.  
That's the problem.

That's the problem.  

Secretary Clinton, while obviously qualified, is part of the problem that makes a candidate like Mr. Trump possible.  

She represents the system that spawned Donald Trump.

About Me

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I am the author of 8 books: Android Down, Firewood for Cannibals, Brain Giblets, The Cubicles of Madness, Booze and News, Get Your Zen On, Zen Happens, and most recently, Robot Stories. I live and write in Michigan. My website is at

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