Thursday, August 31, 2006
my sad, sad little mean-spirited attitude
Other than my sad, sad little mean-spirited attitude, today is going great. I picked up a PC from a patio furniture place, and I am copying over all appropriate files in order to wipe this hard drive.
Later I’m going to a law office to show them how to back up files. All things on earth are good right now.
I tried Clamato for the first time today. Even though it sounds like a veneral disease, it isn't; it's tomato juice and it is delicious.
Alas, when things are going smoothly, blogs are boring. So Peace!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
configuredoodle
Last night was the last night of the golf league and I did terrible. Thank goodness it was a scramble. I couldn’t hit a fairway.
Yesterday I had a motherboard replacement, a power-supply replacement and a wireless configuredoodle. I conquered all. I got a lot of writing done in two coffee shops between appointments. I got a five-dollar laptop that is now wireless and it kicks butt.
I’ve been keeping busy and writing and generally being a good boy.
They haven’t dug up my yard yet, but there are little blue flags in the front so I know its coming. I don’t care about the yard, as long as they don’t charge me. That stupid tree we cut down last year is getting its revenge.
Well, it’s too friggin early in the morning to be typing this crap, I think I might be able to go to sleep now.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Sailor On A Concrete Sea
"Leaving my first stop, I can't help but laugh at the posted signs: '$1000 Reward for reporting illegal dumping' on the fences and signposts. Everywhere around them are old mattresses, tires, appliances, household junk, etc. piled up to five feet deep. "
You should check it out.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
neat-o for a geek-o
Otherwise I’ve been reading Catch 22, which is some kind of cross between Alice in Wonderland and Patton. I can’t explain it really, but the absolute nonsense contained in this book defies categorization or explanation. The people in this book are lunatics.
That’s about it.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
laptops, orange cones, sewer robots.
I finished taking the pool down and storing it. I surfed the Internet.
Oh yeah, after I filled up with gas, Deb called and asked me to pick up some fabric softener. I was pulling in and saw this lady’s van stopped right as you turn into the parking lot. She was sitting there in the right-hand southbound lane on Plainfield at 4:30, which is asshole-central. Her pinion arm (or whatever, I know nothing about the underside of minivans) busted, and both of her front tires were pointed toward the middle of her vehicle. The minivan couldn’t even be pushed out of the way. She had a cell-phone, so I went into Meijer and got three orange cones from the auto-tools department and asked the lawn-garden dude if I could take them out there and help prevent a friggin accident. He said yeah, and I put the cones out so people would see ahead of time not to rear-end this lady who wasn’t smart enough to get out of the driver’s seat.
I went and got the fabric softener, walked around some and came out and she was STILL sitting there, trying to get killed by some distracted driver. As I was getting into my car, the cops finally pulled up behind her.
I didn’t bother taking the cones back. Fuck ‘em.
What else happened? Oh yeah, the Kent County guy that runs the robot that films the sewers came by and showed me the video that triggered the form letter that said I was going to have to pay for them to tear up the road. There's one little root, and it's in my lateral drain going into the main sewer, and it's not in the main sewer, anywho, he gave me a copy of the video and said they shouldn't have to tear up the road. Which is good because the Plainfield Township guy said if they did, they might charge me like, $12,000 and that would make me very sad.
So I got a roter-rooter plumber guy coming out to clean it up for a fraction of that. I don't need any more friggin' expenses. Dammit!
Monday, August 21, 2006
Comedy Central: Shows - Roast of William Shatner
Sunday, August 20, 2006
inside-out swimming pool
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Mornig update
I have to take the pool down this weekend, or at least I was going to, but now it’s raining.
I got two appointments already lined up for Monday. It’s good to know I’ll be employed the next week. Every week is different.
Yesterday I took the kids (2 of mine and 2 of their friends) to the city pool. The pool closed for the season yesterday.
Last night I joined YouTube so I can put video in here once in awhile. I put a cool Ted Stevens Remix on here, (see below) I didn't make the video, I just found it and put it on here.
Thanks for checking in.
Friday, August 18, 2006
recent web searches that have led people to my web page:
lavitra side effects
stupid stuff on the internet'
milk triple sec recipes
bucknell rich kids
rolling stones discography
jean kowalski
we're really talking about peace
lyrics of song a'nt it funny by jennifer lopez
series of tubes wav
a series of tubes wav
stupid stuff.com
mcpherson high school 1981 kansas
circuit city truckload
home canned chile sauce with anahiem peppers
my feet are bare barefoot feet
what is the par total score in golf
juicer pepper salsa recipe
sharks.wav
susan roesgen
favorite cigars
navy pics
kick ass chili recipes
brian coco
number of months viagra side effects
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
cool-buddhas don't brag about their day like I'm about to.
After that, another entry in the Grand Rapids Parks Project. Took the entire family to Brigg’s park, on the corner of Lafayette and Knapp, where there’s a city pool with a kick-ass waterslide. We slid and slid and I got water in my ears.
Then I took the entire family to Old Country Buffet, where I ate five plates of food.
Was your day as good as mine? Chances are, it wasn’t. Cause I’m a cool-buddha and you may or may not be, depending on your circumstances and outlook. So, lighten up and have some fun. Because someday, you’re gonna be dead.
Peace in the Middle East ya Bastards!
Monday, August 14, 2006
eighteen dollars
The renewal form says to “include the driver’s license number of the person writing the check.” Funny, I thought they had those records in Lansing. They wouldn’t even provide postage.
I wonder which pothole my 18 dollars is going to fill. Maybe the workman could carve my initials in the hot tar with the tip of his shovel in my special filled pothole. The pothole that will be unplugged a few weeks later by the snowplow.
Yesterday I am proud to say I didn’t do anything. A day of rest, pure and simple. Lots of time just reading on the porch. I’ve never had a better time doing absolutely nothing. Saturday we went to Comstock park and walked around, but Sunday, Sunday was a day of rest.
But not today. I drove 139 miles, 5 stops, and more money today than I made all last week. I had data transferred, the awkward moment when I had to tell a couple that they lost ALL their data because their HD crashed. Don’t forget to backup people! I drove all the way out to bumf8ck to fix a modem, and I also went downtown and fixed a monitor. I am the master of all low-tech probabilities.
Homer said this on the Simpsons:
“I THROW MYSELF ON THE MERCY OF THE FOOD COURT!”
I think that’s fantastic.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
moped convention
We had a get-together the other day, just a few people from Deb’s work. It was a good time.
I’ve been getting calls again, thank the little-baby-Jesus, and everything is gonna be okay.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
panic over!
sandals
We’re broke but we’re having a get-together for some of Deb’s co-workers. I don’t want to have a party because we’re broke, but I will be my usual charming and witty self (HA!)
I worked on my short story today, sent some postcards, and obsessed about money.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
the primates have lost their ability to think
I’m done being angry. Happy Wednesday assholes.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
"pop" or "soda"?
let’s talk about ME!
What a friggin’ mess over there. Glad I live here.
So before the world ends, let’s talk about ME! Nothing shakin’. Yesterday I fixed a laptop cover micro-switch, and I fought Microsoft Outlook “Identities” hoo-haw. Took Savannah to the go-cart place, we had two races, and then rode the bumper-boats and golfed the mini-golf.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
your lives revolve around reading about mine
Then I helped a VERY old woman get into the NY Times website. The pesky and impossibly tedious MacAfee Privacy Manager has a cookies “white list” that has to be manually managed, it’s a serious pain in the ass, but I figured it out.
Deb worked Friday, so I took the girls to Comstock park, where fun ensued. We saw a guy launch a speedboat, we got ice-cream at the ice-cream truck, and a good time was had by all.
Saturday Deb was sleeping, (she works overnights) so I took the girls to OCB(old country buffet) and then we saw the movie “Barnyard,” which, even by “kid’s movie” standards, sucked major ass. Someone should tell the movie execs that cows are female. Besides that annoying fact, it had a horrible story, none of it was even remotely funny, and it sucked. It’s the absolute worse movie I’ve ever seen in recent memory, possible the worse movie ever.
After that I took the girls downtown and we walked around a little, but there was nothing going on downtown. We walked through Rosa Parks Circle, and the place was empty.
After that, we went home.
I mowed the lawn, had a couple of beers, smoked a cigar and worked on my newest kick-ass short story. Let’s just say some supernatural shit goes down.
Yes, BORING, I know, but I realize that some of your lives revolve around reading about mine.
On the 70s station on XM Radio, they play old "Casey Kasem's American Top 40" shows. It's like time travel.
Peace in the Middle East MotHerFuCkers!
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
That will make lip and throat cancer seem worth it huh?
I could tell I was smoking a bad cigar today, which means my ability to discern one cigar from another is improving. Great. That will make lip and throat cancer seem worth it huh? I might be giving them up altogether before I become an addict. That would be a bonehead move.
I did stay out of the bar today, and that’s a god-damn miracle. Yay me!
Well, I’m going to write some more enthralling fiction. I just have to think of an exciting story with real sympathetic characters that develop over the course of the book in a way that will hold the readers attention and make them care about the characters. No problem. I’ll get right on that.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Dreams suck.
Earlier in the dream I was in the Navy, and I hated everyone I worked with. I had to work on some training jackets or some other bullshit. It was horrible.
Dreams suck.
About Me
- dan
- I am the author of 5 books: Android Down, Firewood for Cannibals, The Cubicles of Madness, Robot Stories, and most recently, Various Meats and Cheeses. I live and write in Michigan. My website is at danmanning.com