Thursday, March 29, 2007

boots (1999-2007) they will be sorely missed.


they squeak. i had to replace them with Navy Issue Flight Deck Boots.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

In Heaven . . .

In Heaven . . .

The cops are English, the cooks are French, the lovers are Italian, and the mechanics are German.

In Hell . . .

The police are French, the cooks are English, the mechanics are Italian, and the lovers are German.

NPR Spring Membership Week.

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! STOP MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY! STOP ASKING ME FOR MONEY! STOP BEGGING ME! I have the number memorized already! 888-258-9866 I don't want to join up! NO! I don't care what Ryan Automotive will give if you get 15 new members! NO! I DON'T CARE! I'm not paying for radio! NO! SHUT UP AND PLAY "ALL THINGS CONSIDERED"!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

bla bla. this post is boring.

We went to Lowes and bought bird seed and one of those solar stick-in-the-ground lights. I planted some flowers. I walked around barefooted. I chipped a golf-ball around the yard. I had a homeade Oatmeal Stout a friend gave me.

The girls went to a friend's house and Deb and I had Nachoes and Coronas at Cheers. I moved the super-heavy railroad ties from the backyard. I traded some computer work so my neighbor would haul them all away.

My back hurt from moving the railroad ties. I finished copying music back to my laptop. The fan doesn't run all the time anymore.

Tomorrow, computer work.

bla bla. this post is boring.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Saturday, a new beginning . . .

I Spent the day reformatting my laptop. Why you ask? We bought a digital video camera, with a hard drive and all the bells and whistles. I installed the software to convert those videos into DVDs and such, and my friggin’ CPU fan went on high alert. It ran CONSTANTLY. I uninstalled the software, and behold, the friggin’ fan still ran CONSTANTLY. After a week of listening to the fan, I finally gave up and reformatted. All fixed, and my laptop is once a again, pure, virginal, and quick.

I got outside briefly, and I was barefooted. That’s always nice. Savannah had her last volleyball game.

Oh yeah, and if you haven't seen 300, go now. It was friggin' awesome.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Saturday, March 17, 2007

kick-ass product alert

Hi everyone, it's me, danmanning. I'd like to tell you about this kick-ass stuff, Luigi's Real Italian Ice. I don't know if it's Italian, I don't know who Luigi is, I don't even know if it's "real", but I can tell you this: its delicious.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

GRINDHOUSE

GRINDHOUSE New Tarantino flick! Comes out April 6. Yeah!!!!!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

the blog post I posted on Saturday discussing Friday

Yesterday I spent the morning deleting porn froma customer’s PC after recovering his files after the customer's daughter accidentally formatted the machine. Can’t very well transport porn back to the customer, even though he’s the one who put it there in the first place. If it ever came down to it, the customer might not appreciate it despite that little fact.

It was fifty degrees out Friday, that’s really warm compared to the last few months. Deb and I took a walk aroundthe block. It was sunny, and snow was melting like crazy. I told “Big Head Steve” that his days were numbered. “Big Head Steve” is a snowman we built last week.

I set up computer faxing for one of my better clients. He had no modem, the phone jack in his office for the fax line had no dial tone, but I set it up and tested it just the same.

At the Hideout, I talked to this dude who works for IBM. Ken played my Motorhead CD, a lady from OSHA was snooping around in a surprise visit, and I kept it down to two beers.

Me and the girls watched “Hellboy”. Meh, it was watchable I guess.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Printer repair sucks

New rules for me: No subcontracting, and NO printer-repair jobs. Printer repair sucks. Subcontracting sucks. This place calls me from time to time, they have warrantee agreements, and all they do is call the cheapest place they can find, send the wrong parts, demand too much paperwork (Including FAXING, if you can believe it.) and generally screw up almost every time.

It took me four hours to disassemble this gargantuan color laser printer to replace a card they had sent directly to the customer.

Of course, the dispatcher at the warrantee place said it was a private residence. It’s a veterinarian clinic. So I’m lobotomizing this gi-normous printer, and cats and dogs are sashaying through, and the barking . . . the barking . . . oh God!

So I’m waiting on hold to try to figure out how to get this part back and get another one on order. . . this sucks!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Please do not read the following post . . .


I mean it, don't read this post!! I wrote this when I was all worked up about the Iraq war. That was a long time ago, and I've calmed down quite a bit since then. Still, I like this piece of writing, so I'm leaving it up, although it makes me sound like a raving lunatic. Enjoy.
We debate the war in forums and in blogs and all we need to do to raise our voices is to hit the CAPS LOCK key on our keyboards. While we type our useless opinions, somebody loses a leg or an eye, or has their spine cut in half by molten shrapnel in an under-armored humvee so some war profiteer can make war profits. Maybe a little boy gets decapitated. Maybe a mother weeps while searching a morgue for her little boy. Maybe she’ll find him. Maybe she won’t. Maybe he’ll have been tortured with a power-drill or belt sander. Maybe not.

What do we care? Britney Spears has shaved her head and Anna Nichole might be buried in Hicksville, maybe in the Bahamas! It’s very fucking important we know where they’re going to bury poor Anna Nichole. And who’s the baby-daddy? I will not sleep easily until I know who impregnated that obnoxious whore. We have other more important things to think about besides war: That black chick on American Idol shouldn’t have gotten voted off, or that skinny white chick should have, and Jack Bauer is running around with a gun saying “god dammit” every five minutes and disarming bombs. We have important shit to worry about.

While war profiteers squat in the Whitehouse, we pay down or charge up our credit cards on Plasma TVs and phones that will do everything but jerk off for us, and we work our shitty service-industry jobs and watch television and play World of Warcraft and stand in line for days to get a Nintendo Wii. We don’t have time to protest the war if we oppose it, or, God and Baby-Jesus forbid, enlist to fight it if we support it.

Our “representatives” spend their quality time French kissing corporate lobbyists while their pollsters try to figure out how they can pander to NASCAR social conservative hicks and Hollywood liberal snobs at the same time.

Luckily, anyone can become President, as long as they can raise at least $500,000,000 for their campaign.

And its right about now when somebody reading this is thinking something like, “Well if you hate America so much, get the fuck out.” and I say I don’t hate America. I love America. I hate how Lady Liberty is getting fucked in the ass by corporate pigs and bible thumping, mouth-breathing retards and apathetic fat-asses like me and the Democrats who don’t give a rat’s ass about working people any more than Republicans do. Liberals have no guts when it comes to cutting off every red cent from this catastrofuck that is Iraq, and don’t have the balls to impeach the little bastard frat-boy who got us into this mess, and then shipping his lying ass off The Hague to face charges for war crimes.

You want to support the troops? Support them on C5s while they fly back here so their lives aren't wasted on shit. It's called the DEFENSE department, not the OFFENSE department. And anyone who says Iraq has anything to do with terrorism can lick my quivering nut-sack.

I love America, but I hate what we’re doing to it. I hate how each and every one of us, myself included, are butt-fucking the United States every day with our silence. As the fake-ass people on network news say, “It makes me deeply saddened.”

In our silence we allow corporations to take over our government. Corporate lobbyists can wine, dine, bribe and screw “our” Congressmen all they want. All you and I get to do is write a friggin' letter. We’ll get a form letter back that might as well say “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just shut the fuck up and pay your taxes.”

And I think that’s a great idea. Let’s all just shut the fuck up and pay our taxes. Let’s all watch Idol and get fat and ignore politics and drive around in our oversized gas-hogging clown-cars. Let’s run up our credit cards and neglect our public schools and give our taxes to war profiteers.

As long as there is no draft, we have nothing to worry about, right? As long as we can get a job doing something, some other poor schmuck will be hauling his gear through some shithole in the desert while getting shot at by pissed off Muslims who have the audacity to fight back while their country is being invaded. And don't those Muslims have the decency to put off killing each other despite their eternal hatred for one another long enough for us to occupy their country and steal their oil?

Let’s keep putting “C” students into the Whitehouse to run things. Nice job my fellow Americans, we put a fucking chimpanzee into space a long time ago, why not let one ride around in Air Force One and fuck up the entire planet?

Let’s keep electing Democrats and Republicans; they both suck the same corporate cock. They are interchangeable cowards who don’t do shit except move their jaws and study polls and try to figure out how to keep their jobs. Lets make sure these people, who get free healthcare that we pay for, stay in power while the rest of us watch prices go up and living standards go down and healthcare costs skyrocket.

Let’s not change a fucking thing. Everything is peachy.

God Bless America you fat bastards.


Hey, you don't like it? I told you not to read this post

Sunday, March 04, 2007

hellovader


no comment required.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

what has it got in its pocketses?


This is the crap I carry in my pockets. Jeeze.

www.danmanning.com

Friday, March 02, 2007

turkey leg soup, anna nichole still dead. snow.

Nothing doing today. Last night Alex beat me at cribbage. The dog might have a fractured leg, so Deb took her to the vet. How much is that going to cost?

I got no calls today. That’s two days in a row with no work, but I’ve been doing this long enough to not panic. Next week I’ll be slogging away at it again, and it’s pretty interesting work actually.

I made awesome turkey-leg soup. I played Xbox. I made postcards and sent out statements. I haven’t bathed and I see no reason to. It’s been snowing like crazy and I called the guy with the snowplow to come shovel the driveway. My back can’t take it anymore.

A bus fell off a bridge in Atlanta. Anna Nichole is still dead. CNN has been updating every movement of the now stinking body (I assume) of the late Anna Nichole. I hate her now more than ever. Please go away you latex bimbo!

Only 19 days until the vernal equinox.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

it's march.

It’s March, and this morning, around four(?) there was thunder and lightning and blowing frozen rain. In like a lion . . . check! I had to order HP install disks for a customer because they (HP) are too lazy to provide restore disks with their fancy-shmancy media center PCs.

We lost power for awhile. I got Alex from school for a Dental appointment. I went to McDonalds and ordered all the wrong stuff.

We lost power and when it came back on the Internets weren’t up. So I called Comcast (mistake) to see if there was an outage in our area. I ended up arguing with the jackass on the other end (not from India; an American jackass) who was trying to tell me that because I had a 169. . . IP address, it proved there wasn’t anything wrong with my connection. "Are you trying to tell me the network cards in both my machines went bad at the same time?" I asked. "Possibly" said the Jackass. I ended up arguing with him, but by the time I was off the phone, the service was back up. God Dammit I wanted to strangle the guy through the phone.

I dropped off a machine using Earthlink DSL. It’s the first such hookup I’ve encountered so far (Earthlink DSL that is) and I had to muddle through the setup. Turns out I had to call Earthlink and have them give me their DNS server IP addresses. Otherwise, it went smooth as usual. My second drop-off went smoother yet. They had comacast.

www.danmanning.com

About Me

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I am the author of 8 books: Android Down, Firewood for Cannibals, Brain Giblets, The Cubicles of Madness, Booze and News, Get Your Zen On, Zen Happens, and most recently, Robot Stories. I live and write in Michigan. My website is at danmanning.com

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