On Thursday I joined a writer's group where the people who show up are actually writers who actually write. So I'm dumping my Sunday "writer's" group. Only one other person in the Sunday group actually wrote anything worth reading. The folks at the Thursday group are writers. One woman has written AND SOLD over a dozen romance novels, and a few of the other writers have published as well. There's only one blowhard, and he's tolerable, so I guess this is my new group.

I've been working on the first scenes of my newest bestselling novel. I will change the main character's first name from Finneus (a horrible name) to Phillip (a less horrible name I can use until I think up a good one).

Last week was my 41st birthday, and now coincidentally, I'm 41 years old.

I bought a box set of the original Loony Tunes cartoons, because I missed them and I couldn't figure out why they aren't on television anymore. Now, after watching three of the four DVDs, I realize why they don't show Loony Tunes cartoons on TV anymore: Those fascist bastards at the FCC won't allow all the good stuff: gun violence, cannon violence, roadside bombs, assault with axe, kidnapping, electrocution, false imprisonment, police brutality, assault with umbrella, cruelty to animals, child abuse, suicide by jumping off building, stalking, sexual assault by skunk, attempted murder, assault with baseball bats, assault with anvils and boulders, poisoning, drug use, explosives, hand-grenades, suicide by gun and hanging by noose, alcohol consumption, gambling, stealing, cross-dressing and duck mutilation. There are racial stereotypes for Irish, Native American, African Americans, Asians and Eskimos. Oh yeah, and lots of high impact falls due to falling off cliffs, buildings, mishaps with giant slingshots, and towel snapping.

You know: the good stuff. These are the best cartoons on the planet.

ROSEVILLE, Mich. -- A young girl died during a hide-and-seek game, police said.

Allison Ireland, 10, of Roseville, was playing hide and seek Saturday with her cousins when she got tangled in a belt inside of the closet of her home.

Family members said she possibly hung herself as she jumped off a box.

Her 3-year-old cousin discovered her.

"We heard him saying, 'Wake up, wake up, Ally. I want to play. I'm here, wake up, Ally.' And he came out and said, 'she won't wake up,'" said Heather Eisler.

"It is a shock. It is a shock. It's the worst thing that could happen. My mom could not even hold her head up," sister Alyssa Eisler said. "It's the worst thing that has ever happened in my life."

Ireland's funeral is scheduled for Wednesday morning.

Last night Deb and I watched two DVD rentals: Hot Fuzz and Deathproof. Deathpoof, a Quentin Tarantino movie, was everything I expected; hot girls, cheesy dialog and lots of gratuitous violence. The lap-dance scene was well worth the rental. No, not his best work, but entertaining nonetheless. Hot Fuzz was another well made comedy by the same dudes who did Shaun of the Dead. Both DVDs were well worth the rental.

from slate.com:

"Tennis ball, $2.50 for can of three
The MacGyver remedy. Or, as I like to call it, fetching with Pavlov's dog. Put a tennis ball in a sock, and then safety pin the sock to the middle of the back of a T-shirt. When you sleep in this T-shirt, it's painful to sleep on your back, so you turn on your side, where you're less likely to snore. If you sleep with the sock enough, your sleep self will supposedly associate sleeping on your back with pain, and you won't need the T-shirt anymore.

I'm not used to sleeping with a shirt on, so this—not to mention the heavy sock tugging at the back—took some getting used to. Also, it is surprisingly painful to have a Wilson jut into your back. But the remedy worked immediately. The morning after the first night, Elizabeth reported no snoring. I felt great, too. The second night, my deceitful sleep self did manage to outmaneuver the sock, swinging the tennis ball between my arm and side, allowing me to sleep on my back and snore. But the next day I adjusted the sock so that it was tighter against the shirt and could not be stretched out. For the rest of the trial, there was no snoring.

By the fifth night, I was attached to the ensemble. There was something ritualistic about putting the shirt on every night, and the thought of moving on to test another remedy made me sad. Elizabeth loved it, too. Improbably, she even found the get-up cute, which solidified this remedy's place as the clear winner."

we have illegal wiretapping, "free-speech zones", arrest without charges, torture, and now we can all be tasered for asking a question. Yes, here in the Land of The Free, we get to do anything we want, as long as we stay in compliance, never resist arrest, and act like sheep before a benevolent, all-powerful government. They can read your emails, listen to your phone calls, arrest you without charges, torture you, search your bags and bust down your doors. But don't worry, it's for your own good.

So sleep well America, Big Brother is watching over you.

War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength.

from cnn.com:

Man dies after 3-day gaming binge

BEIJING, China -- A man in southern China appears to have died of exhaustion after a three-day Internet gaming binge, state media said Monday.

The 30-year-old man fainted at a cyber cafe in the city of Guangzhou Saturday afternoon after he had been playing games online for three days, the Beijing News reported.

Paramedics tried to revive him but failed and he was declared dead at the cafe, it said. The paper said that he may have died from exhaustion brought on by too many hours on the Internet.

The report did not say what the man, whose name was not given, was playing.

The report said that about 100 other Web surfers "left the cafe in fear after witnessing the man's death."

China has 140 million Internet users, second only to the U.S.. It is one of the world's biggest markets for online games, with tens of millions of players, many of whom hunker down for hours in front of PCs in public Internet cafes.

Several cities have clinics to treat what psychiatrists have dubbed "Internet addiction" in users, many of them children and teenagers, who play online games or surf the Web for days at a time.

I ran like, a million miles this week. I've been watching Ty Murray's Celebrity Bull Riding, and it is compelling reality TV without all the backbiting and sniping. Plus, sometimes the bulls hurt people, and that's cool.

This morning I ran with the girls. I've been working on another short story that's almost finished. I've got to start writing more and goofing off less.

Yesterday was GeekAid '07. I have a few pictures. It was lots of fun, plenty of good bands and some beers.

I've got to get a new recording device so I can make some more podcasts. I've been keeping busy.

They finally arrested OJ . It only took about a decade to put that asshole behind bars. He burglarized (allegedly) some place to take back sports memorabilia. What a dumb-ass.

What else is going on? Iraq still sucks, General Petraus told Congress a bunch of crap about how swell things are going over there; Steve Fossett is still missing; paralyzed football guy can move his fingers and toes; Jodi Foster is in a revenge movie; Greenspan went on sixty minutes and blathered on about this and that, like everyone is going to ignore him now that he's no longer the Fed chief; he's probably going to send us into a recession just by being interviewed. A plane crashed in Thailand; Tiger Woods is kicking ass and the Detroit Lions won. That's two wins in a row.

#35 When Will Jesus Bring The Porkchops?	George Carlin	2004	* * *	This book is both very good and very bad. The entire thing is just little sections of thoughts and ideas. He has parts that are fiction, and these parts are damn near unreadable. But his observations about society and language are fantastic. His non-fiction is hilarious. His fiction is atrocious. The nice thing is, you can spot the fiction and non-fiction pretty quick, so you end up skipping the horrible fake character sketches and sketch comedy scripts and focus on his take on euphemisms and observations. Well worth the half-read. ~ September 08, 2007
#36 The Communist Manifesto	Karl Marx and Frederick Engels	1848	* * *	The first part was great, but the last part had some crazy ideas about women. Plus, once the revolution is over, somebody's going to take the place of the bourgeoisie aren't they? ~ September 12, 2007

Read them all at my book review page

This is the greatest website I've ever seen! zombo.com! Go there now. It's fantastic. You can do anything there. It's hard to explain! zombo.com

The mail arrived late today, and I was thinking, “If the mail doesn’t run on 9/11 due to some stupid observance, then the terrorists win.” But the mail arrived, albeit late, and I never got a chance to use that awesome line.

I got my rear brakes done. I tried to do them myself, and I would have, but the cylinder was jammed and I couldn’t get the new brake-pads in. I could get the old ones in, because they were worn down. Luckily, my customer this morning was an auto-repair shop, so we did a deal and I got them done pretty cheap, and they used the brake pads I bought from the parts place, so, all in all it worked out pretty well.

I ran my 100th mile today using my buddy’s awesome website www.workoutdump.com. I can run 4 miles no problemo now.

I’m reading The Communist Manifesto, and even though it was written 1847, it pretty much foresaw the coming of the global economy. Now that our Corporate Masters have taken over the world, the only thing us proletariats can do is keep working and obey. It’s interesting reading, and it’s not very long.

Lets stop having 9/11 ceremonies already. Every time we make a big deal out of it, UBL puts out another video and a bunch of “experts” try to read his body language. Then the Ministry of Peace (Dept. of Homeland Security) tells us we’re safer now than we’ve ever been, and at the same time we can be attacked at any moment. That’s why then have to listen to our phone conversations. Because we’re so friggin’ safe. Nothing like FUD to control the masses.

Lets all give Britney Spears a break. Sure, she's FAT and STUPID, and she bombed at the MTV music awards and their site is getting more hits than ever. I saw a video of BS shuffling around like a drunken trailer-park girl at a bowling alley. God Damn, somebody tell her to stop already. I feel sorry for her, and she’s a millionaire. That’s pretty messed up. She should pay somebody to slap the drinks out of her hand every time she tries to get drunk or something. Damn.

What else is in the news? Iraq still sucks, some NFL guy got paralyzed, Larry Craig is a gay idiot, the Lions beat Oakland, Phil Spector’s hair is gigantic, OPEC is jerking us around with the oil prices, Fred Thompson is a loudmouth jackass, Steve Fossett is probably dead at the bottom of a ravine in his fancy plane, and UBL dyed his beard.

Well, now you are all caught up. Goodnight!

I just finished reading George Carlin’s When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?. This book is both very good and very bad. The entire thing is just little sections of thoughts and ideas. He has parts that are fiction, and these parts are damn near unreadable. But his observations about society and language are fantastic. His non-fiction is hilarious. His fiction is atrocious. The nice thing is, you can spot the fiction and non-fiction pretty quick, so you end up skipping the horrible fake character sketches and sketch comedy scripts and focus on his take on euphemisms and observations. Well worth the half-read.

Read all my awesome book reviews by following this awesome link.

just so you know:

•I attacked and took over 2 countries.

•I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the US Treasury.

•I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history (not easy!).

•I set an economic record for the most personal bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.

•I set all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

•In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history (tough to beat my dad's, but I did).

•After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.

•I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any president in US history.

•In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.

•I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other president in US history.

•I set the all-time record for most real estate foreclosures in a 12-month period.

•I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president, since the advent of TV.

•I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

•I cut health care benefits for war veterans.

•I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

•I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.

•I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history.

•Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The poorest multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, had a Chevron oil tanker named after her for a while.)

•I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously struggle against bankruptcy.

•I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any market in any country in the history of the world.

•I am the first president in US history to order a US attack AND military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the vast majority of the international community.

•I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States, called the "Bureau of Homeland Security

•I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any other president in US history (Ronnie was tough to beat, but I did it!!).

•I am the first president in US history to compel the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.

•I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.

•I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

•I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant. I withdrew from the World Court of Law.

•I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

•I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.

•I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

•The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

•I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.

•I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.

•I took the world's sympathy for the US after 9/11, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

•I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

•I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

•I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
• I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine
(Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).

•I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during time of war.

•I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

•All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

•All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

•All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

•Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

GEORGE W. BUSH
The White House, Washington, DC

I will never eat “angel hair pasta.” I’ll tell you why: I saw a show on the Discovery channel where they explained how they harvest angel hair. Yes, angel-hair pasta is actually made out of the hair of angels.

There is a lot of preparation involved with killing an angel: First, they forge crossbow bolts from the iron collected from the wrecks of cars where teenagers have died in late-night, country-road accidents fueled by alcohol and wide-eyed innocence. Then they dip those crossbow bolts in the tears of children kept in abusive after-school child-care facilities.

After that, sexually abused adult alter-boys with questionable hygiene climb peaks in the Andes Mountains and wait. The angels, unaware that they are in danger, often fly around mountain passes playing their harps, because they are bored out of their minds from an eternity of problem-free existence, and no cable television.

Finally, the alter boys shoot the angles with their crossbows. When the angels fall to the ground, their heads are shaved and the hair is taken to the angel hair pasta factory and turned into angel hair pasta.

That’s why I will never eat angel hair pasta.

That's right.

If you registered for the national "do not call" list, it expires in 5 years.

But don't worry, you can go to https://www.donotcall.gov and register again.

The website, being a government website, doesn't have the word RENEW anywhere, because that would be way too easy.

There is a VERIFY button, and a REGISTER button, but of course, no RENEW button anywhere.

I used the VERIFY button to see that my number would drop off the list in June of '08.

I just REGISTERED, and now it doesn't drop off until 2012.

That is my public service announcement for this week. May each and every one of you have a somewhat satisfying day.

4100 pages in 45 days equals about 91 pages a day. That’s where I’ve been, reading the entire seven books in the Harry Potter series. I am a dweeb. The story moved, except for the last book which was about three-hundred pages too long, and it really dragged in the middle. I’m glad I’m through with it.

You can read all about the awesomeness of my reading at: dan's book reviews.

Other than that, I’ve been fixing computers and setting up networks. And I’ve been running and or jogging. Lots and lots of running: for me anyway. I’m running 4 miles three times a week. Yes, that’s it, I’m bragging, and I’m not ashamed to admit it!

You can see the awesomeness of my running at: workoutdump.com