Sunday, September 15, 2013

The Bizaro Beatitudes.

I can't believe we let Russia soften our Military Force Boner. As a nation, we need to threaten to bring peace to somebody, with precise Tomahawk missile surgical strikes, all the time. A virile and relevant nation must always threaten to attack other nations, always, otherwise that nation looks weak. And the one nation that can never look weak is the United States, because, hey, we aren't weak! "You want to fight? You think we're weak? I could beat you guys up. Because look at these missiles!  Look at these drones! Freedom and liberty you guys!"

There is no other way to do business, or solve problems, other than precision bombing in undeclared wars, for freedom.

It just feels kind of empty and quiet, without bellicose threatening of other countries, for freedom. It would be a shame to have all of these jets and stuff without using them on some heathen country that doesn't love Jesus.  Because remember how we interpret what Jesus said:
Blessed are the strong in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who win, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the proud, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who bomb and murder after righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciless, for they shall be shown mercy.

Blessed are the hard of heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the war makers, for they will be called the sons of God.

Blessed are those who persecute because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people fear you, are persecuted by you and are not allowed to say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Be wrathful and vengeful, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

(the preceding is sarcasm, just for the record)

No comments:

About Me

My photo
I am the author of 5 books: Android Down, Firewood for Cannibals, The Cubicles of Madness, Robot Stories, and most recently, Various Meats and Cheeses. I live and write in Michigan. My website is at