You Aren't Going to Get Ebola

You aren't going to get Ebola. Terrorists aren't going to cut off your head. You won't be shot by a random gunman at the mall/theater/church/school. What annoys you is a symptom of a bigger problem. 9/11 wasn't an inside job. That new gadget won't fix it. (There's nothing to fix.) The government isn't going to take your guns. Gun owners aren't taking over the world. Your party won't fix anything. The government isn't watching you; you aren't that interesting. Cops can't help it. Criminals can't help it. You (probably) won't end up homeless, but if you do, you'll figure something out. Stop watching the news. You aren't crazy. You're doing the best you can. God isn't threatened by science. Be kinder than you have to be. Creationists won't destroy science. Legalized gay marriage won't turn you gay. Yes, stupidity is everywhere, but not everyone is stupid on the same frequency. Things aren't unraveling, they're changing, just like always. The slope isn't that slippery. Stop taking selfies. People are not getting dumber. Most Christians don't care if you're gay. Most atheists don't care if you're Christian. Christmas isn't under attack. Your ________ is less interesting than you think. Booze isn't going to fix it. Stop trying to fix it. Rich people can't help it. Poor people can't help it. You don't need a new _____ unless the one you have is broken. You don't need a new _____. Nativity scenes do not lead to theocracy. The world economy will keep tottering along. You annoy somebody. You look fine. Your clothes are fine. Your car is fine. Your booze is fine. Your phone is fine. It's good enough. You don't need pills from the TV. The Internet isn't harming your kids. Everything is going to work itself out. Relax.