Tuesday, February 17, 2015


Are you tired of paying $75.00 or even upwards of $150.00 an hour for Foot Freezing treatments? Now you can have your feet frozen for a mere $50.00 for one full hour.

My home office features all the amenities you need for completely frozen feet in just minutes:

1. 1960 era tile floor directly over concrete slab brings your feet as close to the permafrost as you can get without going outdoors.

2. A window view on a frozen wasteland. Watch wildlife such as birds, squirrels, and other squirrels scamper for enough caloric intakes to survive sub-zero temperatures.

3. Internet access. View Facebook posts from your old classmates living in warmer areas as they brag about how @#$%ing warm they are.

In just minutes, your feet will be completely frozen. A bone-chilling experience. Added bonus for those of you suffering from Raynaud's disease: watch your affected toes turn bluish-white. Spectacular results! Here are just a few actual quotes from completely satisfied customers.

"My feet were freezing almost instantly. I felt like my toes were made of pure ice!"

"Is there a @#$%ing window open in here?"

"Is the heat off? Why is it so much colder in here?"

"This is like walking into a refrigerator."

Call or click today to learn more. Bring cash.

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About Me

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I am the author of 5 books: Android Down, Firewood for Cannibals, The Cubicles of Madness, Robot Stories, and most recently, Various Meats and Cheeses. I live and write in Michigan. My website is at danmanning.com