Sunday, October 29, 2006

Friday, October 27, 2006

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Supreme Beings of Leisure

Hi everybody, it’s me, Dan. Today something amazing happened. I got a call to fix a little old lady’s laptop computer. There was nothing wrong with it really, it just needed a slight attitude adjustment. But the amazing thing was, the computer guy she had before me set the laptop up exactly how I would have. It was amazing. Most computer guys always talk smack about the LAST computer guy, usually because there are a million ways to skin almost every technological cat.* But this guy had the machine set up just like I would.

I told the old lady this. She said the only reason she didn’t call the guy back was because he was a “smart-alec”. So let that be a lesson out there, don’t be a smart ass, especially if you want to keep people’s business. You can know your business, but even if you have the same product, if you’re an asshole, your customer won’t call you back.

Oh, and on the entertainment tip, check out the name of this band: Supreme Beings of Leisure. The name says it all. Cool-froody chill-out music. I got their self-titled CD, and it is coooool.

*yes, I know that analogy sucked

Monday, October 16, 2006

expound on all things ME

Haven’t updated in awhile. I’ve been working too much. But that’s a good thing. I’ve been busy at this tool and die place cleaning up after the last computer guy who had everything jacked up and then ran out on them. I got everything pretty much cleaned up.

Otherwise, I got nuthin. I’ve been watching the Tigers. They’re going to the World Series.

I did witness the most annoying people on the planet at Meijer today. They barked everything they said at the top of their lungs. Four husky girls in their twenties(?) with a toddler. Jesus, I wanted to run out of there screaming.

Well, I wish I had more time to expound on all things ME, but I have to do some stuff.

Peace out.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

the game my cell phone company plays

Here is the game my cell phone company plays:

I upgraded my cell phone, hoping to find happiness. My new phone works great, it is shiny and new, but I am no more happy than I was before. But that’s not why I’m writing you, the Internet User, today.

There is a $50.00 rebate, so the whole upgrade costs me a whopping 20 bucks. Nice. But here is the game they play:

On the rebate receipt, they warn:
“Merchandise is not eligible to be returned if the Manufacturer UPC code is removed from the box.”
Okay. Fair enough.

But on the $50.00 Mail-In Rebate Offer sheet thingy, it says:
“Please note, if you remove the bar code label from the equipment box, the product cannot be returned. Do not remove the bar code label to submit for rebate until after the return period is over.”
And of course, they want you to cut the UPC bar code off and send it in to get the rebate.

So. Two warnings. How long is the “return period”?

15 days.

What are they trying to accomplish with this? In two weeks, how many people are going to forget to send in their rebate form, or lose the paperwork? Tricky. Oh my Corporate Masters! You are more powerful than me!

Otherwise, I've had two days of zenlike non-drama cool-froodiness.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I am a dumbass

I fixed a hp plotter. The plotter needs a DHCP server. I rerouted some wiring on the shop floor that went to the CNC machine.

Then the plotter stopped working. After a short puzzlement, I found that the wire to the plotter had come loose when I was moving the unrelated wiring on the same switch.

I wrote a batch file to run a backup. I hooked up the external hard-drive I had just purchased.

The power cord to the external hard drive that I just purchased kept falling out. I had bought a faulty part.

I took it back to the technology store that will remain nameless (Circuit City)

I showed them the power cord falling out of the external hard drive.

They wouldn’t let me return it, because I didn’t have the 1 cent install CD that came with it, even though I never used it.

I left in a huff.

I drove halfway across town when I realized I forgot the receipt at the return counter.

I drove back.

I went in in a huff. I lost my cool. I demanded to see the manager. He agreed that it was a “dumb” policy blab la RMA returns etc etc.

I left in a huff. I came home in a huff. I almost bought beer, but instead I went jogging.

And now I typed this, and now I realize that I was wrong. I didn’t have to do anything “in a huff.” and I am a dumbass. Today anyway. Maybe tomorrow I’ll wise up.

Monday, October 09, 2006

I am a geek!

Hey everybody! Today I made backup batch files, reconfigured static IP addresses (weird) and puzzled over the HP plotters inability to talk to a network. All of this with a looming motherboard change and industrial area cabling issues. Stay tuned! I am a geek!

I saw many traffic accidents, traffic, road construction and other hoo-haw. My back is feeling slightly better.

That’s it. I have no time for you now.


Sunday, October 08, 2006

climb the rock wall

Today Savannah and I enjoyed “Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan” At least, I enjoyed it. Savannah thought it was “too dramatic”. I cried when Spock was in that clear plastic chamber where he got radiation poisoning. When he put his hand up and made the “live long and prosper” sign, and Kirk put his hand on the other side of the glass, it broke my heart. Poor Spock.

We went to the mall, and Alex got a new winter coat. I made the embarrassing mistake of trying to climb the rock wall at the sports equipment place. I think I got ten feet before I fell. I should have tried the easier side. Now my back hurts, and I am sad. Boo Hoo.

We went to Henry Johnson Park on the way back. It was a beautiful day. I was able to redeem myself by climbing the little five-foot rock wall on the little play set there.

Now my back is killing me.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

the last post i've done so far.

today I spent quality time with a juniper router. I made static ip addresses talk to ftp servers and i made virtual routes.

I told a man his computer was totalled because of lightning. I wrote his insurance company a little note to the same effect.

It's finally cooled off the way it is supposed to, and now there is a havest moon shining in the sky.

Nighty-night internet!

No time to blog.

Yesterday: Photo Kiosk, Coopersville.
Today: Router that is not broken must be fixed anyway.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

enough with the October Thunderstorms

Okay, okay already, enough with the October Thunderstorms. I've had to unplug everything in the house about ten times already. I get enough calls for fried equipment to know better than to leave everything plugged in.

Remember kids, unplug your stuff during global-warming induced winter thunderstorms!

Monday, October 02, 2006

Monday Hoo-Haw

Today: Juno reinstallation; external HD installation, CAD file corrupt; DSL/Router Hoo-Haw; reformat.

Heavy lightning, unseasonably(?) warm. Wind gusts and rain.

At the library, they have this self-checkout system. You just scan your library card and put each book on this pad, and it can identify each book. Then it prints you a receipt. Finally, a library visit with no human interaction whatsoever. Oh Progress, I love how you allow us all to live in our insular, safe little worlds.

I wonder if the machine that allows me to check out my own library books forwards the information to the Department of Justice. I hope so. Free thought and privacy are dangerous. I must obey the collective for the greater good.

About Me

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I am the author of 5 books: Android Down, Firewood for Cannibals, The Cubicles of Madness, Robot Stories, and most recently, Various Meats and Cheeses. I live and write in Michigan. My website is at