Saturday, June 30, 2012

#12 While waiting for the DVR to queue the baseball game

Cat in cardboard box,
She ignores the baseball game.
I take her picture.

Reading LOTR for the upteenth time

The Lord of the RingsThe Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

View all my reviews

"The moon, now waxing round, filled the eastern sky with a pale cold sheen. The shoulders of the mountain to their right sloped down to bare hills. The wide plains opened grey before them."

Monday, June 25, 2012

Rejected "Vampire Hunter" Movie Ideas

Hellen Keller: Vampire Hunter
Charles Nelson Reilly: Vampire Hunter
Stephen Hawking: Vampire Hunter
Abe Vigoda: Vampire Hunter
Tinky Winky: Vampire Hunter
Condoleezza Rice: Vampire Hunter
Gary Coleman: Vampire Hunter
Rosa Parks: Vampire Hunter
Hervé Villechaize: Vampire Hunter
Phyllis Diller: Vampire Hunter

Sunday, June 24, 2012

# The Return of the Elvi and the Return of American Exceptionalism

When the hologram of Fat Elvis arrives to heal this once great nation of ours, only then can we move on and be the America we once dreamed of becoming.

Since the death of the Last Incarnation of Fat Elvis in 1977, all leading indicators show a decline in American dominance, the standard of living, and the quality of Network Christmas Specials.

I predict three Hologram Incarnations of the Holy Trinity of the Elvi: 1950s Army Elvis, 1968 Comeback Elvis, and Fat Vegas Jumpsuit Elvis, all on stage together, singing "In the Gheto".

When the Three Incarnations of The Elvi appear, our economy will heal, jumpsuit factories and Percodan labs will spring up. Velvet paintings of the Elvi will spur economic growth throughout the land.  Eight-Track tapes will make a comeback.

Hologram Richard Nixon will appear unlooked for, unshaven, paranoid, and surly, grousing about the Hippies.  Hologram Nixon, in alliance with the Three Incarnations of the Elvi, will set our foundering ship of state aright.

Woolfenstein. :)

Thursday, June 21, 2012


There are zombies.  There are not zombies.
Why are zombies so popular?  They represent something.  They represent our fear of other people.  Other people are scary.  Other people are running out of jobs, dreams, and reasons to behave in a civilized fashion. Zombies represent our fear of what is going to happen when the bottom drops out. Zombies represent our fear of overpopulation.  Our society is fracturing into a thousand little groups. Zombies are a replacement thought. We can't go around with a baseball bat bashing people's heads in. It would be easier than dealing with all of these people. People in traffic, people at the store, people we work with, people in the hallways at school or college.

There are so many people; if the bottom dropped out of this thing we call ordered society, the problem won't be fixable with baseball bats and shotguns.

But we will be surrounded by angry, frightened people.  People who gotta eat.

About Me

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I am the author of 5 books: Android Down, Firewood for Cannibals, The Cubicles of Madness, Robot Stories, and most recently, Various Meats and Cheeses. I live and write in Michigan. My website is at