When I got to the Pearly Gates
(My reward I earned as a man)
They gave me a pack of Camels,
And smoked oysters in a can.
I took the bus to the pool hall,
On the seedy side of town,
On a random Thursday morning,
I just kind of hung around.
There's a guy in a Marlboro tracksuit
Telling tales of Vietnam,
And a guy yelling into a cell phone,
Disagreements with his mom.
I lunched on convenience-store pizza
With my last five dollar bill,
But later I met a dead-beat,
We got high and watched Dr. Phil.
In the evening, I walked to the highway,
And headed out of town.
Eternity's nice on the weekends,
But the weekdays get you down.