Saturday, April 05, 2014

#51 Get Out of the Way, Squirrel!

Get out of the way, squirrel!
You're standing on the yellow line!
Why are you doing that?
What's wrong with you?
There are no snacks there.
Go! Get out of the way!
No, not that way!
First left, then right: you are so indecisive.
Your brain is ridiculously small.
I don't want to run you over.
But I will not swerve. I will not vary my speed!
Oh, if I crush you with my car: The inner twinge!
The horrible noise.
The wince, the closed eyes (one open, for driving!)
So gross.
The glance in the mirror to see
If you are twitching.
Please don't force me to vehicular murder you!
Yes, yes! That way. Yes! To the grass!
You made it! Oh, thank God.
Stay out of the street, stupid squirrel.

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I am the author of 5 books: Android Down, Firewood for Cannibals, The Cubicles of Madness, Robot Stories, and most recently, Various Meats and Cheeses. I live and write in Michigan. My website is at