Podcast #97: "Old Man at The Bank" is ready!

Podcast #97 is ready! "Old Man at the Bank" is ready for download. Visit the Podcast Page!

I proof-read and re-proof-read and re-re-proof-read my succulent short story

Today I sent my latest short story, “The Squid-Headed God” to Weird Tales magazine, where I imagine it will be accepted enthusiastically, and in a few years it will be made into a major motion picture starring some of today’s hottest stars’ grandchildren.

In my more mundane pursuits, I finished a reformat, configured email goodness, and scrumptified software irregularities at a tax preparation place.

I bought an airline sized bottle of Jack Daniels (a tiny bottle) and had a nice drink.

I proof-read and re-proof-read and re-re-proof-read my succulent short story and slipped it seductively into a thin sheath of pure, creamy white envelope.

Weekend Update, with your Weekend Update News Team . . .

Yesterday we refinanced from an ARM to a fixed rate on our mortgage. The word “mortgage” has the “mort” in it, because you pay until you’re dead. After that I had to drop off two machines and collect some money. Then I went to the Hideout and had two beers. I earned those beers by showing somebody how to run S-video to their television. It was an undocumented keystroke combo. I watched some football.

Today I went to Brian’s bearing pizza. Had a couple of beers there and watched the Bears beat the Seahawks.

Tomorrow I have two stops scheduled.

Stay tuned to my PODCAST PAGE. On Feb. 7th, episode #100 will be available then!

Little Squid Head

Last night (and this morning) I stayed up till 1:30 AM EST and finished my latest masterpiece, “Little Squid-Head God” a heartwarming tale of little carven gods, “happy slapping” visions of matricide and the culmination of somebody getting beaten to death with a baseball bat. I think it’s the feel-good hit of the winter!

But “Squid-Head” was just me warming up my writing chops for my newest bestseller, an epic work about a dystopian USA ruled by a uber-marketed totalitarian regime that uses clones for slave labor and entertainment, and one clone’s struggle to . . . uh, that’s all I got right now, but it reads better than I’m making it sound. I’ll write the pitch for it when I finish the story. I’m sure it will be made into a movie starring the children or grandchildren of some of today’s hottest Hollywood stars.

Howard City, GWB, and PacMan

Today I went to Howard City and removed all Spyware contaminants. Then I tried to organize my office and car. Ha! Next I went to a homebuilder’s place and did backup procedures.

My molar feels better and I am going to write a new bestseller tonight.

GWB spoke to me last night, and somehow I’m not convinced. That guy doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence. I don’t think he knows what he’s doing.

I’m going to play PacMan now on the Xbox.

Podcast #95 is available now!

proceed to podcast page

Apple - iPhone

Apple - iPhone <--my next phone. absolutely.

Notes from the Nocturnal Realm:

You know how I’m trying to be a writer and all that hoo-haw? Well writers are supposed to keep a notebook by their bedside so if they get any genius ideas in the middle of the night or in a dream they’re suppose to jot it down, and that note might be the spark for a story . . . bla la bla.

So I woke up just now, and all I could remember was the last sentence of the dream, and it was so strange I had to jot it down. Here’s my little gem of wisdom from the nether-regions of my subconscious. Someone in the dream was talking to me, and this is what they said:

“And when you get tired of getting advice from a monkey at a funeral for $12.99 a pop, call me.”

What? What? Who’s funeral? What advice? Where’d the monkey come from? Who was telling me this at the end of the dream?

So there you go patient reader, a little sludge from my gray matter.

Have a nice day. I’m going to try.

Elvis and Nixon

Recruiting the Dead:

This doesn't even need a comment. From CNN:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Army said Friday it would apologize to the families of about 275 officers killed or wounded in action who were mistakenly sent letters urging them to return to active duty.

The letters were sent a few days after Christmas to more than 5,100 Army officers who had recently left the service. Included were letters to about 75 officers killed in action and about 200 wounded in action.

"Army personnel officials are contacting those officers' families now to personally apologize for erroneously sending the letters," the Army said in a brief news release issued Friday night.

The Army did not say how or when the mistake was discovered. It said the database normally used for such correspondence with former officers had been "thoroughly reviewed" to remove the names of wounded or dead soldiers.

"But an earlier list was used inadvertently for the December mailings," the Army statement said, adding that the Army is apologizing to those officers and families affected and "regrets any confusion."

Hi, My name is Dan, and I watch poker.

It’s happened: I found myself watching World Series of Poker on ESPN2 and liking it. There. I said it, and I'm not ashamed!

sites i found in a newspaper article

blufr.com <-- a true or false game. pretty fun. will you get "bluffed"?

popularitydialer.com <-- fake calls to yourself. Not sure why.

Weird Al interviewing Jessica Simpson <-- on YouTube.

Vicodin is Delicious!

Today they finally buried Gerald Ford. Thank goodness and God bless him. Now I can go downtown and fix computers. The whole town was jacked up for two days burying a guy that was 93 years old.

I got my split molar pulled today. My dentist is great about giving the laughing gas and anesthetic and the gas. I love laughing gas. I swear to God I saw a vision of my old neighborhood.

I saw at least seven accidents. Witnessed one. Some guy pulled out in front of Meijer on Plainfield Blvd. and got spun around. Dumb ass. It’s like everybody forgot to drive. And me driving around high on Vicodin and not even coming close to an accident.

There was a long line at the post office because Gerald R. Ford kept the friggin PO closed yesterday because he was 93 years old and he died. There was a lady with drawn-on eyebrows and gray tennis-shoes in front of me. Up ahead, “Ethan” wouldn’t stay in line with his mother. That kid needed to be smacked. Another lady on her cell phone was talking to her bank. “Debit for two thousand dollars?” She said. Then she said there must have been some mistake. Someone in line smelled like pot. There were 4 workers at the Post Office windows, which is amazing, because usually at least two slackers are on “break.” Government workers. I swear to God.

I’m going to take some Vicodin now and play Xbox.

watching the Intenternets

If you've got a free hour, watch the video below. It's the first of three BBC films about politicians and terrorists, and how they use fear to bla bla bla, just watch it. I watched all three, and now I'm all depressed.

The weather isn't depressing at all. It's nice and warm. It's going to be in the forties for the next week. No global warming. Nothing to worry about :)

Otherwise, I got nothing going on. I probably won't get any calls cause it's New Year's Eve Weekend. We got family coming in, so the house is clean.

Christmas Morning

I haven’t written in this for awhile. Let’s see. A week ago Sunday I went to this stoner’s house and his 4 stoner teenage hangabout sons couldn’t hook up a wireless router to a cable modem. Three of them were sitting around all high watching the fourth play World of Warcraft. Monday, I fixed a router/printer/Mac networking situation for a lady who had Rush-Limbaugh blasting in the background. Tuesday I cleaned up a wiring mess at an accounting office. Tax season is coming up! Wednesday last week I went way out to Lowel to fix a high-dollar video card and reformat a Compaq. Thursday I returned the PC. Friday I had a customer who thought she had a virus that made the computer come on by itself. Her computer needed a serious cleanup, but there were no viruses.

Yesterday (Christmas Eve) we drove to Joanne’s and had a nice visit. I got a gallon of beer in one of those mini-kegs, which I look forward to tapping later on.

I got a new electric shaver. It’s charging now. The girls got lost of presents, bla bla bla, another Christmas.

candy snowmen

had to make 60 of these babies for the girls' classes for treats. An army of snowmen.

Cleartype makes the computer go hella-slow (a followup)

Something I should have anticipated: Cleartype makes the PC go hella-slow. But in Control Panel, there's an icon, and after that there is a checkbox "Turn on ClearType" Uncheck it, and it turns off ClearType no problem.

cleartype. what took me so long to find you?

Hi fellow laptop users. Let me just say this now: I should have stumbled across this a long time ago. Anywhoo, when I downloaded the IE7 upgrade, I noticed how clear the text was on the new browser. It's something called "cleartype" and I thought, "well golly! why can't I see that clearly on everything?"

Well, I found the cleartype tuner, and I'm here to tell you, it makes the laptop look like a brand new, clearer laptop. check it out. Freakin' awesome.

boston typewriter orchestra

http://www.bostontypewriterorchestra.com/ <--they make "music" with old typewriters. Audio samples.

Oliver Sipple, a tragic story.

Here's a sad story for ya: the story of Oliver Sipple, the guy who saved President Ford. No good deed goes unpunished. Check out the chain of events that followed his heroic action that saved President Ford. Poor gay bastard.

Don't ask what random clicking led me to this wikipedia page. It started on Slate.

my next phone!!??

Italk. does this even exist?

Cat Puke!!

So the cat puked right in front of my office door. I can’t stand puke. I have a weak stomach. I’m a puss when it comes to vomit and shit.

So. Deb worked last night, so she was asleep. So I’m already gagging, and I haven’t even looked directly at the puke. I’m looking at it with my periphial vision only, just stepping around it, and I’m thinking, “I have to wake Deb up so she can take care of this.” I don’t want to wake her up, cause she’s asleep, and what kind of a puss can’t pick up some cat puke? So I steel myself, hold my breath, and clean it up.

And then I puked. Just a little.

Oh the things I do for love.

blinker

Today I changed the blinker in my 2002 Taurus. 38 cents for the bulb, 10 bucks for the socket and socket adaptor. Being able to turn left, priceless.

I am such a friggin’ slacker. Jesus H. Christ.

Well, first I get hooked on World of Warcraft. I play the crap out of that, get no writing done, and then I cancel the account and burn the CDs. What do I, being the genius that I am? I get a Second Life account and get hooked on that. So today I had to cash out of that and uninstall the software.

It’s like the last thing I want to do is WRITE. Maybe because I’m allergic to WORK. And writing a book is HARD. It takes a lot of TIME. And EFFORT.

girl fights, motherboards, James Bond, Yes Men, and doohickeys

The 1963 film, “From Russia with Love” is great for the following reason: In the span of 5 minutes, there’s a belly dancer, a gypsy girl-fight, a gun-shootout, a riot, and then an implied menage-a-tois between the two gypsy girls and Bond. All in about five minutes. Thanks Tivo!

I rented another movie, suggested by my friend Barry. “The Yes Men” These guys are trying to shock people by impersonating WTO representatives in front of corporate fat-cats saying this outragous, greedy stuff to point out how outragous and greedy corporations are, and how the WTO is exploiting 3rd world countries. The problem for the Yes Men was that the corporate drones took what they had to say seriously. They did this one bit where they compared offshoring for cheap labor to slavery (like it was a good thing), and the corporate guys ate it up like it was a great idea. All in all, it was a pretty good movie.

Yesterday I got a call from a woman who said her PC wouldn’t start. I tried the power supply, the switch, nothing. Then I figured out she had the switch off at her multi-power-switch doohickey. Oh, it was plugged in, but the friggin’ switch was off. Imagine my chagrin . . .

Today I took a machine home to reformat it. When I put it on the bench, the keyboard wouldn’t work. After that, it stopped posting. The motherboard crapped out right before my eyes. Luckily it was an ancient PC and I just replaced it with one I had on the shelf. They don’t use it for much, and I’ll give them a good deal. Dammit.

chives, tryptophan, Lions, Joey, and the Joys of The Holiday Spirit

The blogger community is all abuzz in anticipation of my next blog post. So here it is:

Chives: Is there anything that doesn’t taste better with chives? I don’t think so. It’s certainly great with sour-cream dip, but there are other things: Oreos and Chives. Chive Beer. Chive flavored edible underwear. Vanilla ice cream topped with delicious, fresh chives. God had his thinking cap on when he invented chives. Oh yes. I am thankful for chives! Say it with me now . . . . “CHIVES!”

Yesterday we ate turkey. I’m a fan of tryptophan, that’s for sure. Wikipedia takes all they mystery and fun out of the Tryptophan myth:

According to popular belief, tryptophan in turkey meat causes drowsiness[9]. Turkey does contain tryptophan, which does have a documented sleep-inducing effect as it is readily converted into serotonin by the body. However, tryptophan is effective only when taken on its own as a free amino acid. Tryptophan in turkey is found as part of a protein, and, in small enough amounts, this mechanism seems unlikely.[10]

A more-likely hypothesis is that the ingestion of large quantities of food, such as at a Thanksgiving feast, means that large quantities of both carbohydrates and branched-chain amino acids are consumed. Like carbohydrates, branched-chain amino acids require insulin to be transduced through the myocyte membranes, which, after a large meal, creates a competition among the amino acids and glucose for insulin, while simultaneously creating tryptophan's reduced competition with other amino acids for the Large Neutral Amino Acid Transporter protein for transduction across the blood-brain barrier. Alcoholic beverage consumption at holiday feasts is likely to compound the effect.

They got the booze part right! Just kidding kids. Drink responsibly! I took it easy on the booze yesterday.

The Lions did their usual screwed up job. Not only did they get beat, but they got beat by Joey Harrington, in his first appearance back in Detroit since moving to the Miami Dolphins. Way to go Lions, can’t even blame him this time. Jesus! What’s it take to bring these Lions around?

Today I am wrapping presents. I’m in the Holiday spirit, probably more than at any time in the last twenty years. I don’t know. I’m actually enjoying getting things ready for Christmas this year.

So. There’s this game called Second Life, which is basically this waste of time chat room in 3d, but it’s kind of cool because you walk around and people make all kinds of things and anyway . . . last night I bought a Led Zeppelin tee-shirt in the game. Today I was looking at books on Amazon.com, and guess what; they “suggested” that I might be interested in Led Zeppelin albums. Coincidence? I think not!

My bestselling novel is going gangbusters. There has never been a more unreadable heap of crap produced in a long time. Hopefully it will be made into a movie.

dog poop, literature, turkey and porn

I really hate the day before Thanksgiving. It isn’t really a work day, and it isn’t really a holiday. Usually I don’t get any calls, (this is my 4th year working for myself) and the kids are home and the day drags and drags and drags. I got some writing done. I’m still going through World of Warcraft withdrawals. I’m having a hard time filling those hours I wasted on gaming. I have managed to read another book cover to cover. That’s helping. The pages in my upcoming International Best Seller (IBS doesn’t’ just stand for “irritable bowel syndrome”) and I’m seriously thinking about combining two of my false-starts into one really big false-start.

I picked up dog poop. We’re giving that dog too many snacks. There was crap everywhere and it seems like I picked up poop just the other day.

Deb and the girls are preparing the turkey for turkey-day.

I have all four of my book manuscripts on the desk and I realize I’ve typed a pant-load of pages. That and a bunch of short-stories. All of them unmitigated craptastic hoo-haw.

I ate two cans of spaghetti and now I’m really sleepy. I have to pick up a computer at five because the husband downloaded “something he shouldn’t have.” That always makes for a comfortable scene. The husband guilty of downloading porn, and the irate wife hiring me to clean up the hard-drive. uuuuuuhhhhhh.

evolving mural

I can't believe this isn't on Utube.

pandora.com

check out this internet music site: www.pandora.com. Punch in a song title, and they make as "station" with music you'd probably want to hear. It works. Pretty cool.

laptop hinges . . . repaired!

Slow day. Didn’t have any work until 4PM, when I flew to Rockford to tighten the hinges on a Dell Dimension 1100 laptop screen. Leaping into action, I mounted my trusty Ford Taurus of Technology and raced to a secluded bungalow off of Spring Lake, where I cannibalized an old laptop for hinge screws and restored the machine to near pristine quality.

I sent some NoWaterBall golf balls out unto the world. I visited one company, but could do nothing for the proprietary software. But I met some folks and I’m sure they’ll be calling me for all technological thingies.

I haven’t watched any football this year because the Lions suck ass. But Saturday I’ll be watching Michigan(2) and Ohio State(1) in the big game. Both teams are 11-0. Should be pretty friggin’ exciting.

Watched Thank You for Smoking the other night, and wrote a review on my movie review page.

I want each and every one of you using the Internets to go to nowaterball.com and order the greatest novelty golf balls in the world for presents this Holiday season.

WARCRAFT! BEGONE!

Yesterday I made Level 60 in World of Warcraft. Last night I played for almost an hour, and then realized I’d done what I intended to do, which was to make level 60. So I cancelled my account, uninstalled the software, and BURNED the installation CDs with the trash so I wouldn’t be tempted to re-install it. That game is too addictive for me. It’s kind of sad, a forty-year-old man playing a game that much.

This morning I hooked up DSL connectivity smoothness to a family from India. How odd. I went to the home of an Indian family, and when I called tech support to make sure they had DSL signal, I got an guy in America. Weird.

New Talent on 60 Minutes

New Talent on 60 Minutes funny stuff.

I MADE SIXTY!

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The Blog post I posted on Sunday

Yesterday I replaced the kitchen sink soap dispenser, replaced the drain thingy, you know where the plug goes? And re-caulked around the sink. I hate plumbing in all of its forms.

Today we raked leaves. We watched some movies; you can read three new reviews on my Movie Reviews Page at the greatest website in the world, www.danmanning.com.

Don't forget to vote Tuesday. Throw the Bums out!

danmanning.com ~ Procrastinator's Homepage

danmanning.com ~ Procrastinator's Homepage I'm such a procratinator, I had to make this page and make it my browswer homepage. Gee hope it works.

doh!

doh!
Originally uploaded by sheeshoo.

Holy crap! Look at this fantastic pumpkin!

I'm gonna keep my baby . . .

Later that day . . .

Finally, some checks came in the mail. Plus, when I went to the post office to buy stamps they were playing Madonna’s 1986 megahit “Papa Don’t Preach” on the loudspeakers. While I waited in line I got to contemplate Madonna’s reasons for why she wanted to keep her baby.

RobCorddry @ Sg News

Yes! Rob Corddry (from the daily show, duh) has a blog/column thingy. He writes as funny as he acts.

Ultimate Fighting Championship

Went to two Halloween get-togethers last night. At one place, I saw this amazing thing: Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) fighting. It was friggin’ great, these two dudes came out and kicked the shit out of each other. I had to ask if this was allowed in the US, and apparently, it is. So I’m going over there later this month, cause the guy gets pay-per-view to watch these fights. This one dude was bleeding all over the place, and they let them keep fighting. It was sick.

Otherwise, I’m invoice rich and cash poor. I did a bunch of work for this one place in early October, and I’m waiting for the checks to come in. Meanwhile, we’re flat-ass broke.

So I haven’t been in the mood to blog at ya lately. I’m so sick of going to the mailbox and seeing no checks in there. Self employment is fun, but it has its drawbacks.

Yahoo! Health News: Testosterone Tumbling in American Males

Yahoo! Health News: Testosterone Tumbling in American Males NooooooOOooOoOooO No wonder I've been noticing drapes and things like that lately.

Line Rider - beta by *fsk on deviantART

Line Rider - beta by *fsk on deviantART
Holy crap! simple addictive flash thingy.

Supreme Beings of Leisure

Hi everybody, it’s me, Dan. Today something amazing happened. I got a call to fix a little old lady’s laptop computer. There was nothing wrong with it really, it just needed a slight attitude adjustment. But the amazing thing was, the computer guy she had before me set the laptop up exactly how I would have. It was amazing. Most computer guys always talk smack about the LAST computer guy, usually because there are a million ways to skin almost every technological cat.* But this guy had the machine set up just like I would.

I told the old lady this. She said the only reason she didn’t call the guy back was because he was a “smart-alec”. So let that be a lesson out there, don’t be a smart ass, especially if you want to keep people’s business. You can know your business, but even if you have the same product, if you’re an asshole, your customer won’t call you back.

Oh, and on the entertainment tip, check out the name of this band: Supreme Beings of Leisure. The name says it all. Cool-froody chill-out music. I got their self-titled CD, and it is coooool.


*yes, I know that analogy sucked

expound on all things ME

Haven’t updated in awhile. I’ve been working too much. But that’s a good thing. I’ve been busy at this tool and die place cleaning up after the last computer guy who had everything jacked up and then ran out on them. I got everything pretty much cleaned up.

Otherwise, I got nuthin. I’ve been watching the Tigers. They’re going to the World Series.

I did witness the most annoying people on the planet at Meijer today. They barked everything they said at the top of their lungs. Four husky girls in their twenties(?) with a toddler. Jesus, I wanted to run out of there screaming.

Well, I wish I had more time to expound on all things ME, but I have to do some stuff.

Peace out.

the game my cell phone company plays

Here is the game my cell phone company plays:

I upgraded my cell phone, hoping to find happiness. My new phone works great, it is shiny and new, but I am no more happy than I was before. But that’s not why I’m writing you, the Internet User, today.

There is a $50.00 rebate, so the whole upgrade costs me a whopping 20 bucks. Nice. But here is the game they play:

On the rebate receipt, they warn:

“Merchandise is not eligible to be returned if the Manufacturer UPC code is removed from the box.”

Okay. Fair enough.

But on the $50.00 Mail-In Rebate Offer sheet thingy, it says:

“Please note, if you remove the bar code label from the equipment box, the product cannot be returned. Do not remove the bar code label to submit for rebate until after the return period is over.”

And of course, they want you to cut the UPC bar code off and send it in to get the rebate.

So. Two warnings. How long is the “return period”?

15 days.

What are they trying to accomplish with this? In two weeks, how many people are going to forget to send in their rebate form, or lose the paperwork? Tricky. Oh my Corporate Masters! You are more powerful than me!

Otherwise, I've had two days of zenlike non-drama cool-froodiness.

I am a dumbass

I fixed a hp plotter. The plotter needs a DHCP server. I rerouted some wiring on the shop floor that went to the CNC machine.

Then the plotter stopped working. After a short puzzlement, I found that the wire to the plotter had come loose when I was moving the unrelated wiring on the same switch.

I wrote a batch file to run a backup. I hooked up the external hard-drive I had just purchased.

The power cord to the external hard drive that I just purchased kept falling out. I had bought a faulty part.

I took it back to the technology store that will remain nameless (Circuit City)

I showed them the power cord falling out of the external hard drive.

They wouldn’t let me return it, because I didn’t have the 1 cent install CD that came with it, even though I never used it.

I left in a huff.

I drove halfway across town when I realized I forgot the receipt at the return counter.

I drove back.

I went in in a huff. I lost my cool. I demanded to see the manager. He agreed that it was a “dumb” policy blab la RMA returns etc etc.

I left in a huff. I came home in a huff. I almost bought beer, but instead I went jogging.

And now I typed this, and now I realize that I was wrong. I didn’t have to do anything “in a huff.” and I am a dumbass. Today anyway. Maybe tomorrow I’ll wise up.

I am a geek!

Hey everybody! Today I made backup batch files, reconfigured static IP addresses (weird) and puzzled over the HP plotters inability to talk to a network. All of this with a looming motherboard change and industrial area cabling issues. Stay tuned! I am a geek!

I saw many traffic accidents, traffic, road construction and other hoo-haw. My back is feeling slightly better.

That’s it. I have no time for you now.

Peace!

climb the rock wall

Today Savannah and I enjoyed “Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan” At least, I enjoyed it. Savannah thought it was “too dramatic”. I cried when Spock was in that clear plastic chamber where he got radiation poisoning. When he put his hand up and made the “live long and prosper” sign, and Kirk put his hand on the other side of the glass, it broke my heart. Poor Spock.

We went to the mall, and Alex got a new winter coat. I made the embarrassing mistake of trying to climb the rock wall at the sports equipment place. I think I got ten feet before I fell. I should have tried the easier side. Now my back hurts, and I am sad. Boo Hoo.

We went to Henry Johnson Park on the way back. It was a beautiful day. I was able to redeem myself by climbing the little five-foot rock wall on the little play set there.

Now my back is killing me.

the last post i've done so far.

today I spent quality time with a juniper router. I made static ip addresses talk to ftp servers and i made virtual routes.

I told a man his computer was totalled because of lightning. I wrote his insurance company a little note to the same effect.

It's finally cooled off the way it is supposed to, and now there is a havest moon shining in the sky.

Nighty-night internet!

No time to blog.

Yesterday: Photo Kiosk, Coopersville.
Today: Router that is not broken must be fixed anyway.

enough with the October Thunderstorms

Okay, okay already, enough with the October Thunderstorms. I've had to unplug everything in the house about ten times already. I get enough calls for fried equipment to know better than to leave everything plugged in.

Remember kids, unplug your stuff during global-warming induced winter thunderstorms!

Monday Hoo-Haw

Today: Juno reinstallation; external HD installation, CAD file corrupt; DSL/Router Hoo-Haw; reformat.

Heavy lightning, unseasonably(?) warm. Wind gusts and rain.

At the library, they have this self-checkout system. You just scan your library card and put each book on this pad, and it can identify each book. Then it prints you a receipt. Finally, a library visit with no human interaction whatsoever. Oh Progress, I love how you allow us all to live in our insular, safe little worlds.

I wonder if the machine that allows me to check out my own library books forwards the information to the Department of Justice. I hope so. Free thought and privacy are dangerous. I must obey the collective for the greater good.

OH THE HUMANITY

Oh cruel fate, how come you gotta be so cruel? I got an email a few minutes ago from the editor of RELEVANT magazine, letting me know that my kick-ass story about eccentric celebs is posted in his online magazine.

I get there and I’m like “hey, my article is right there, in a real online magazine.” I get ready to post the announcement to my loyal web-page readers, when my Internet connection goes down.

OH THE HUMANITY.

Of course, I suppose you’ve figured out that the connection is back up; otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this fresh post.

But right now, at eleven at night, my connection is still down. I’ll probably get more writing done tonight then ever before. The Internet is such a distraction. The cable modem is downstairs, and every five minutes, whether I want to or not, I go down there and see if the little green “online” light is still blinking.

I even walked next door to the neighbor’s. They said the Internet was up, which is even more frustrating, because now it’s just ME and not something going on at the other end of the line at Comcast. Dammit!

No time to blog

No time to blog . . . must . . . write . . . international best-selling novel . . . no time . . .

Monday's Blog Post-O-Complaints!

Today I installed 3 printers, 5 UPS, and a touch-screen. Thanks Don for the business. I organized the cabling in my techno-mobile. I mowed the lawn. Savannah’s school photos came in and she looks marvelous.

Writing a book is hard. There are so many words, and they have to be in the right order. There are characters, and they have to do and say interesting things. Things have to happen in a plausible way, but it can’t be just like real life, because real life is dull. It has to be entertaining and witty but not too witty.

Maybe I should just plagiarize something. But even that involves a lot of typing, and my fingers will get tired.

I might have to do research in order to make the book interesting enough for someone else to actually want to read it. All my science fiction is starting to sound like re-hashed Star Trek episodes.

My left elbow is all scraped up from me leaning on it, staring into my screen, trying to, by sheer force of will, to make shit happen in my story.

I don’t know my own mother’s address to send the school photos of Savannah to her. She moved.

defragmentation achieved.

Let all peoples of Earth know that my laptop files are now contiguous. Long live laptop.

why does this video exist??

It's official: this video is the weirdest thing I've seen on the Internets in a long time. Prepare to be amused and terrified.

Fun fact about the Internets!

If you Google the term "breathtaking breasts", my laptop story page comes up first.

Remember, the more you know, the more you grow.

Have a great weekend Internet junkies!

WAR IS A RACKET!

The following is an excerpt from a speech Gen. Smedley Butler delivered in 1933(…) It is one of over 1,200 speeches he delivered in over 700 US cities. In the first half of the 20th century, Gen. Butler was as well known as Colin Powell is today. He served 33 years in the US Marines and is one of only 19 people ever to receive TWO Congressional Medals of Honor - the highest decoration the US Military awards.

"War is just a racket. A racket is best described, I believe, as something that is not what it seems to the majority of people. Only a small inside group knows what it is about. It is conducted for the benefit of the very few at the expense of the masses.

I believe in adequate defense at the coastline and nothing else. If a nation comes over here to fight, then we'll fight. The trouble with America is that when the dollar only earns 6 percent over here, then it gets restless and goes overseas to get 100 percent. Then the flag follows the dollar and the soldiers follow the flag.

I wouldn't go to war again as I have done to protect some lousy investment of the bankers. There are only two things we should fight for. One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of Rights. War for any other reason is simply a racket.

There isn't a trick in the racketeering bag that the military gang is blind to. It has its "finger men" to point out enemies, its "muscle men" to destroy enemies, its "brain men" to plan war preparations, and a "Big Boss" Super-Nationalistic-Capitalism.

It may seem odd for me, a military man to adopt such a comparison. Truthfulness compels me to. I spent thirty- three years and four months in active military service as a member of this country's most agile military force, the Marine Corps. I served in all commissioned ranks from Second Lieutenant to Major-General. And during that period, I spent most of my time being a high class muscle- man for Big Business, for Wall Street and for the Bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism.

I suspected I was just part of a racket at the time. Now I am sure of it. Like all the members of the military profession, I never had a thought of my own until I left the service. My mental faculties remained in suspended animation while I obeyed the orders of higher-ups. This is typical with everyone in the military service.

I helped make Mexico, especially Tampico, safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefits of Wall Street. The record of racketeering is long. I helped purify Nicaragua for the international banking house of Brown Brothers in 1909-1912. I brought light to the Dominican Republic for American sugar interests in 1916. In China I helped to see to it that Standard Oil went its way unmolested.

During those years, I had, as the boys in the back room would say, a swell racket. Looking back on it, I feel that I could have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents."

I got another story published.

I just got my copy of Tales of the Talisman 2.2 in the mail today. My short story "Fuel" is on pg. 28, and I reread it after a long time, and the ending is great! Plus, there's a kick-ass illustration that goes with it by Liz Clarke. AND . . . there's a bio of me on page 81. I want each and every one of you to click the cover right now and order your copy today.

the letter i wrote to the Governor and Congressman Vernon J. Ehlers

Dear ____________________,

I want you to do everything you can to return paper ballots to all Michigan polling places. I don’t trust the voting machines. There is no physical way to verify votes; computerized voting machines could be tampered with or malfunction.

I am a computer technician, yet with something as important as voting, I want something more concrete than a touch screen when I enter the voting booth. Even if the only result would be more faith in our voting system, it would be worth it.

I know it is close to the elections and I’m sure all kinds of money went into installing these electronic voting machines, but I feel they are going to ruin voting rights in Michigan, and in America.

Sincerely,

Dan Manning

happy monkey

Well, yesterday I turned 40. Thanks to the thousands of folks who sent me five dollars. That’s going to go a long way toward paying some bills.

Today I got a five dollar per hour raise! That makes me a happy monkey.

It feels like fall finally. I thought I’d go out and enjoy the great outdoors, so I picked up dog poop in the back yard. The air was fresh and crisp, except when dog poop smell wafted off the shovel into my large, manly nostrils.

Speaking of nostrils, I’ve noticed some gray hair, but it’s all in my nose hair. Isn’t that weird?

Well, thanks for stopping by the ol’ homepage. Ya’ll come back and visit again!

One of many reasons i hate local FM radio

So I get brave and turn on the local oldies station, thinking, “Oldies, how bad could they screw this up?” It started out okay, Janis Joplin’s 1971 hit “Me and Bobby McGee” from her album “Pearl.” Okay. That’s a pretty good song, it’s up there on my hypothetical list of really cool songs. So I’m thinking, “Maybe I can listen to local FM radio.” How do they screw up “oldies?” Simple. The next song was the 1982 suckfest that is “Ebony and Ivory.” After that, a barrage of the most banal, obnoxious commercials I’ve heard in a long time. I have two words for local FM radio commercial producers: “Stop yelling.”

And that’s why I don’t listen to local FM radio.

Out of sorts.

I’ve been tired and grumpy all day. I tried to watch the Lions, but it is painful to watch the same crappy team year after year, so we watched SpongeBob instead. Just looked it up, the Lions lost to the Bears 34-7. God they suck ass.

Deb was sleeping because she worked last night, and I was going crazy bored sitting around the house, so I took the girls to K-Mart so they could look at Halloween costumes. I sat in the lawn furniture section while they tried on masks and came over to “scare” me.

Later in the afternoon I learned how to juggle two softballs and a garden spade. I did pretty good.

I put the finishing touches on the new laptop installation. This thing is running so much better. I only loaded what I need, and I can’t believe the difference.

I did something I almost never do: I took a nap.

And now it’s nine PM, and I’m going to bed.

I also made my "writing brag sheet" page listing all the stuff I've had published. Hooray for me.

How I spent Saturday

I spent today replacing my 40g hard drive with a 100g hard drive. I only put on the programs I need, and it’s going wicked fast now. I could have reformatted the old one, but having the old files on a backup HD makes me feel a little less nervous.

It went as smooth as expected, since I do this about five times a week anyway.

I had one appointment this morning, fixing wireless and removing Norton AV that was killing HP wireless printing service, when to bloated software programs fight, the only loser is the user.

I took Savannah to Circuit City and I bought what I have wanted for years: The first Star Wars movie on DVD. Now my life is complete.

Well, working on this laptop has eaten the entire day, so I have nothing more to write about.

Broken Sh*t III The Return of Broken Sh*t.

And the hits keep on coming: Now my friggin’ garage door opener spring snapped. First the plumbing, then the stove, now the garage door opener. If any of you out there have put some sort of hex on me, please lift it, because my shit keeps breaking. I’m really sick of spending time and money on friggin’ repairs. I hate work.

And there's another sequel in the works: my hard drive is getting ready to crash, every other time I reboot i get "Operating System Not Found" dammit. That's more money on replacement parts.

my kid got fingerprinted today

My oldest daughter came in to borrow the stapler. For an "experiment" for school. She had ten pieces of tape, one labeled for each finger, on a piece of paper, one group of five for the left hand, one group of five for the right. She had printed the name of each finger neatly above each piece of tape.

Under the tape: her fingerprints.

I can understand they want the kids' fingerprints on file. I've given up any illusion of privacy or rights in this country a long time ago, and this is just one more minor chink in the illusion that you and I, as average taxpayer/consumer units, have any rights at all.

But come on already: if you want to fingerprint all the kids in school, just come right out and say what you're doing. Don't pretend it's some "experiment" for science class with some lame-ass fake school assignment. I mean Jesus Christ, just because we're wage-slave/serfs doesn't mean we're that stupid.

get in the kitchen and bake me a pie.

Let all people of Earth know that on this day I fixed the oven. I replaced the igniter. My wife made fun of the butt-crack that showed from under my shirt, and she said it proved that I was a handy-man. I told her to get in the kitchen and bake me a pie, but she didn't.

the world seems a safer, happier place

Today I figured out what is wrong with the oven. I’m sick of stuff breaking. The plumbing, that’s two sinks, two showers, the fridge, one toilet and the washer. And now the oven.

But I used the Oracle of Google to discover the inner workings of the gas oven, and it turns out we have a glow-igniter, an igniter that glows red hot and then if it gets hot enough, it opens the gas valve. It has a little gap that burned through, and I took it out and walked to Lowes, but they didn’t have it, so I walked to the hardware store, and they didn’t have it, and I walked the APEX appliance parts store that Lowes and the hardware store told me about, but they were closed.

But knowing is half the battle, and during the walk I podcasted about everything I saw on Plainfield, and I stopped at Long John Silver’s and had the sampler platter.

Otherwise, I wrote, played video games and watched television. I’m still on my news blackout, and the world seems a safer, and happier place because of it.

big dirt patch in yard

big dirt patch in yard
Originally uploaded by danmanning2001.

I’ve been flooded with emails of support following the horrific ordeal concerning the City digging up my yard for no reason. I’d like to send out a special thanks to all of the Taiwanese who sent their best wishes. You all certainly understand the hardship plumbing problems can cause. Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto!

Well, to follow up, today, two days after the violent upheaval that was my front yard, I was sitting here today, minding my own damn bidness, when ANOTHER truck with the evil word “UTILITY” on it pulls up, and a guy gets out with a bunch of red, blue, and yellow little flags in his hand. I went outside, and he wasn’t in the truck. Nope, he was standing next to my house getting ready to mark the underground utility lines – for the hole they had dug two days before. I told him that the hole was already dug and filled in and he went away. I love the Government in all its forms.

Today I set up some mailing software and did a spyware/windowsUpdate/virus check for one of my regular customers. I got some checks in the mail and I fixed my shower, which was clogged due to the sand in our plumbing. blab la bla. whatever.

humungus pixle art

biggest pixle art ever?

blogity blog bla bla

Today, I had to play plumber because of the sand in the plumbing, put there by Plainfield Charter Township and their digging for no reason.

I had one call today so far, an external hard drive that wasn't plugged in.

The President made a speech about the prisoners at Git-mo. They are going to be tried. But there are questions about how the evidence was collected.

The girls are back in school. It's nice to have them back in school.

I've been working on a new short story, another science fiction story that I hope will sell. I have a book to write.

great photo of the moon

link to photo

the wagoneers

This morning I fixed a Mac G5 wireless. I also mapped a keyboard shortcut so it would eject the CD player. Otherwise, I watched Star-Trek, washed the car, read some short-stories, worked on my own short-story.

I took the kids to the school and they rode the wagon down the hill. There’s video of the wagoneers on my website.

my sad, sad little mean-spirited attitude

The road is closed down the street. Usually people cut through our neighborhood to get from 4 Mile Road to Plainfield Ave. But one end of the road is closed. You don’t know how much sick satisfaction I get when somebody comes tearing down the road and they have to turn around and go back. Ha ha ha F*ckers!

Other than my sad, sad little mean-spirited attitude, today is going great. I picked up a PC from a patio furniture place, and I am copying over all appropriate files in order to wipe this hard drive.

Later I’m going to a law office to show them how to back up files. All things on earth are good right now.

I tried Clamato for the first time today. Even though it sounds like a veneral disease, it isn't; it's tomato juice and it is delicious.

Alas, when things are going smoothly, blogs are boring. So Peace!

configuredoodle

Oh God it’s 4:41 in the morning and I’m awake. This never happens to me. At least it’s not supposed to. I went to bed way early last night, so maybe that’s it.

Last night was the last night of the golf league and I did terrible. Thank goodness it was a scramble. I couldn’t hit a fairway.

Yesterday I had a motherboard replacement, a power-supply replacement and a wireless configuredoodle. I conquered all. I got a lot of writing done in two coffee shops between appointments. I got a five-dollar laptop that is now wireless and it kicks butt.

I’ve been keeping busy and writing and generally being a good boy.

They haven’t dug up my yard yet, but there are little blue flags in the front so I know its coming. I don’t care about the yard, as long as they don’t charge me. That stupid tree we cut down last year is getting its revenge.

Well, it’s too friggin early in the morning to be typing this crap, I think I might be able to go to sleep now.

Sailor On A Concrete Sea

My friend Barry has a new blog, Sailor On A Concrete Sea. He writes about his travels driving his truck around the country. It's a good read. little excerpt:

"Leaving my first stop, I can't help but laugh at the posted signs: '$1000 Reward for reporting illegal dumping' on the fences and signposts. Everywhere around them are old mattresses, tires, appliances, household junk, etc. piled up to five feet deep. "

You should check it out.

War-Torn Middle East Seeks Solace In Religion

Glad religion is helping that region!

neat-o for a geek-o

Today I loaded something called “DSL” which in this case stands for “Damn Small Linux” onto a 64mb flash drive. I booted off it on my laptop, the entire Operating System runs off a flash disk. It has the basic apps anyone would need for basic computing. The Firefox browser works perfect. Its pretty amazing what they can fit on a flash drive. For older machines, it will boot off a small CD, one of those half-sized ones that hold 200MB. The website says it will boot off one of those credit-card disks, I’m doing that next. It’s only 50MB. pretty neat-o for a geek-o.

Otherwise I’ve been reading Catch 22, which is some kind of cross between Alice in Wonderland and Patton. I can’t explain it really, but the absolute nonsense contained in this book defies categorization or explanation. The people in this book are lunatics.

That’s about it.

laptops, orange cones, sewer robots.

Today, today, today, what can I possibly write about today? Well, I didn’t get any calls until almost five; a guy poured coffee on his laptop. It’s fixed. I had to take it apart and clean it out. I finished reformatting and reloading another laptop, and only then did it decide to start making “HARD DRIVE . . . FAILING!” noises. Didn’t make a sound while I was doing all the work, so I had to get another HD and replace it and do everything again. Filled the car up with gas, and went to Meijer.

I finished taking the pool down and storing it. I surfed the Internet.

Oh yeah, after I filled up with gas, Deb called and asked me to pick up some fabric softener. I was pulling in and saw this lady’s van stopped right as you turn into the parking lot. She was sitting there in the right-hand southbound lane on Plainfield at 4:30, which is asshole-central. Her pinion arm (or whatever, I know nothing about the underside of minivans) busted, and both of her front tires were pointed toward the middle of her vehicle. The minivan couldn’t even be pushed out of the way. She had a cell-phone, so I went into Meijer and got three orange cones from the auto-tools department and asked the lawn-garden dude if I could take them out there and help prevent a friggin accident. He said yeah, and I put the cones out so people would see ahead of time not to rear-end this lady who wasn’t smart enough to get out of the driver’s seat.

I went and got the fabric softener, walked around some and came out and she was STILL sitting there, trying to get killed by some distracted driver. As I was getting into my car, the cops finally pulled up behind her.

I didn’t bother taking the cones back. Fuck ‘em.

What else happened? Oh yeah, the Kent County guy that runs the robot that films the sewers came by and showed me the video that triggered the form letter that said I was going to have to pay for them to tear up the road. There's one little root, and it's in my lateral drain going into the main sewer, and it's not in the main sewer, anywho, he gave me a copy of the video and said they shouldn't have to tear up the road. Which is good because the Plainfield Township guy said if they did, they might charge me like, $12,000 and that would make me very sad.

So I got a roter-rooter plumber guy coming out to clean it up for a fraction of that. I don't need any more friggin' expenses. Dammit!

Comedy Central: Shows - Roast of William Shatner

Comedy Central: Shows - Roast of William Shatner < if you get a chance to catch the roast of William Shatner on Comedy Central, watch it. It's really funny. The roast of Pam Anderson was funny too. These comedians are great.

inside-out swimming pool

poolcleaning
Originally uploaded by danmanning2001.

I turned the above-ground pool inside-out so I could wash it. two trash recepticals, two more borrowed trash recepticals, the pool ladder and a pole with a bucket over it suspends this pool in an engineering marvel!

Mornig update

It’s raining this morning. I’ve watched all the David Letterman and Peewee’s Playhouse I can watch on the Tivo. Savannah is river-tubing with a friend. Deb is sleeping, she worked overnight last night. I’m working on another story and killing time. I stayed up till one last night, writing and playing video games. Now I’m sleepy.

I have to take the pool down this weekend, or at least I was going to, but now it’s raining.

I got two appointments already lined up for Monday. It’s good to know I’ll be employed the next week. Every week is different.

Yesterday I took the kids (2 of mine and 2 of their friends) to the city pool. The pool closed for the season yesterday.

Last night I joined YouTube so I can put video in here once in awhile. I put a cool Ted Stevens Remix on here, (see below) I didn't make the video, I just found it and put it on here.

Thanks for checking in.

DJ Ted Stevens Techno Remix:

God, this is awesome. Ted Stevens Rocks!

recent web searches that have led people to my web page:

what happens when you mix mentos with diet pepsi?
lavitra side effects
stupid stuff on the internet'
milk triple sec recipes
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series of tubes wav
a series of tubes wav
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cool-buddhas don't brag about their day like I'm about to.

Today met and exceeded all expectations. I had two really LONG calls, setting up wireless/printing/faxing/business software hoobajooba at the first stop, and unpacking a brand-spanking new PC, just like a little mini-mid-august-Christmas, without the fake tree and commercialism. I moved all files from the OLD pc to the NEW pc via USB/IDE technological janks.

After that, another entry in the Grand Rapids Parks Project. Took the entire family to Brigg’s park, on the corner of Lafayette and Knapp, where there’s a city pool with a kick-ass waterslide. We slid and slid and I got water in my ears.

Then I took the entire family to Old Country Buffet, where I ate five plates of food.

Was your day as good as mine? Chances are, it wasn’t. Cause I’m a cool-buddha and you may or may not be, depending on your circumstances and outlook. So, lighten up and have some fun. Because someday, you’re gonna be dead.

Peace in the Middle East ya Bastards!

eighteen dollars

eighteen dollars. that’s what the State of Michigan wants in order to renew my driver’s license. I’m old enough now where I can renew by mail. That’s nice. I’m no longer a threat. I have a driving record that goes back 25 years. Really. We got our learner’s permits when we were 14, back in Kansas, where there are no hills or curves, and there is nothing for us to crash into.

The renewal form says to “include the driver’s license number of the person writing the check.” Funny, I thought they had those records in Lansing. They wouldn’t even provide postage.

I wonder which pothole my 18 dollars is going to fill. Maybe the workman could carve my initials in the hot tar with the tip of his shovel in my special filled pothole. The pothole that will be unplugged a few weeks later by the snowplow.

Yesterday I am proud to say I didn’t do anything. A day of rest, pure and simple. Lots of time just reading on the porch. I’ve never had a better time doing absolutely nothing. Saturday we went to Comstock park and walked around, but Sunday, Sunday was a day of rest.

But not today. I drove 139 miles, 5 stops, and more money today than I made all last week. I had data transferred, the awkward moment when I had to tell a couple that they lost ALL their data because their HD crashed. Don’t forget to backup people! I drove all the way out to bumf8ck to fix a modem, and I also went downtown and fixed a monitor. I am the master of all low-tech probabilities.

Homer said this on the Simpsons:

“I THROW MYSELF ON THE MERCY OF THE FOOD COURT!”

I think that’s fantastic.

moped convention

Haven’t written much here because I’m working on a short story. We went to Comstock Park, (Deb, the girls and I) and walked around. There was a moped convention there. It was kind of funny.

We had a get-together the other day, just a few people from Deb’s work. It was a good time.

I’ve been getting calls again, thank the little-baby-Jesus, and everything is gonna be okay.

tubes filled error message

tubes filled 404 message, inspired by Ted Stevens, internet exptert

panic over!

finally, at 3:08 PM, i finally get a call. I went from unemployed to self-employed in less than a minute. Whew!

sandals

sandals
Originally uploaded by danmanning2001.

This is the third day of NO CALLS. I’m going broke fast, and that makes me a sad panda. I had to throw out my sandals today because they are stinky.

We’re broke but we’re having a get-together for some of Deb’s co-workers. I don’t want to have a party because we’re broke, but I will be my usual charming and witty self (HA!)

I worked on my short story today, sent some postcards, and obsessed about money.

Goggles :: The Google Maps flight sim

Goggles :: The Google Maps flight sim

the primates have lost their ability to think

The Alaskan Pipeline corrosion story is bullshit. I used to work on US Navy Helicopters. Each Helicopter costs about $42,000,000. For those of you unfamiliar with government spending and budgets, $42,000,000 is chump change. Anyways, the squadron that I was attached to, as well as every other squadron, had a “corrosion control” department, that did nothing but, you guessed it, controlled corrosion. Every single day, 24 hours a day, we had an entire department devoted to one thing: controlling corrosion. If you mean to tell me nobody thought to check for corrosion on the fucking ALASKAN PIPELINE, I would have to opine that you are FULL OF SHIT. There is no excuse for letting corrosion put holes in our friggin’ ALASKAN PIPELINE when anyone with a high school education who has been in the military for five minutes could tell you that you need to check the fucking pipeline for fucking corrosion. Jesus Christ on a pogo-stick, Janie, let me off this crazy thing because all of the primates have lost their ability to think.

I’m done being angry. Happy Wednesday assholes.

"pop" or "soda"?

Here's the breakdown. Do you call it "pop" or "soda"? it's all broken down here on this map: link

let’s talk about ME!

Israel, Hezbollah, Baghdad, OH MY! UN, Israel, Baghdad, Hezbollah, UN, Israel, Hezbollah, Baghdad, Oil Prices, UN, Israel, Hezbollah, UN, Israel, Hezbollah, UN JESUS!

What a friggin’ mess over there. Glad I live here.

So before the world ends, let’s talk about ME! Nothing shakin’. Yesterday I fixed a laptop cover micro-switch, and I fought Microsoft Outlook “Identities” hoo-haw. Took Savannah to the go-cart place, we had two races, and then rode the bumper-boats and golfed the mini-golf.

your lives revolve around reading about mine

Weekend roundup: Well, lemme see: Friday I picked up a Sony VAIO that had teenager/spyware on it. The Itunes application wouldn’t allow them to download CDs, and after fiddling with it for about an hour, I decided it needed to be wiped.

Then I helped a VERY old woman get into the NY Times website. The pesky and impossibly tedious MacAfee Privacy Manager has a cookies “white list” that has to be manually managed, it’s a serious pain in the ass, but I figured it out.

Deb worked Friday, so I took the girls to Comstock park, where fun ensued. We saw a guy launch a speedboat, we got ice-cream at the ice-cream truck, and a good time was had by all.

Saturday Deb was sleeping, (she works overnights) so I took the girls to OCB(old country buffet) and then we saw the movie “Barnyard,” which, even by “kid’s movie” standards, sucked major ass. Someone should tell the movie execs that cows are female. Besides that annoying fact, it had a horrible story, none of it was even remotely funny, and it sucked. It’s the absolute worse movie I’ve ever seen in recent memory, possible the worse movie ever.

After that I took the girls downtown and we walked around a little, but there was nothing going on downtown. We walked through Rosa Parks Circle, and the place was empty.

After that, we went home.

I mowed the lawn, had a couple of beers, smoked a cigar and worked on my newest kick-ass short story. Let’s just say some supernatural shit goes down.

Yes, BORING, I know, but I realize that some of your lives revolve around reading about mine.

On the 70s station on XM Radio, they play old "Casey Kasem's American Top 40" shows. It's like time travel.

Peace in the Middle East MotHerFuCkers!

911 NORAD audio clips

check out the 911 NORAD audio clips just released.

That will make lip and throat cancer seem worth it huh?

I wish there was something exciting to report about today, but there isn’t. No calls. I worked on a new short story, it’s good, but wordy, so it’s going to be pared down before I send it out into the world. I think my SF bestseller is DOA. It's not going anywhere and I’m sick of it. If I’M sick of it, I can’t really expect anyone else to read it can I?

I could tell I was smoking a bad cigar today, which means my ability to discern one cigar from another is improving. Great. That will make lip and throat cancer seem worth it huh? I might be giving them up altogether before I become an addict. That would be a bonehead move.

I did stay out of the bar today, and that’s a god-damn miracle. Yay me!

Well, I’m going to write some more enthralling fiction. I just have to think of an exciting story with real sympathetic characters that develop over the course of the book in a way that will hold the readers attention and make them care about the characters. No problem. I’ll get right on that.

Amazing Stop Motion Video - www.2BlogGadgets.com - Google Video

Amazing Stop Motion Video - very cool.

Dreams suck.

I had the most awful dream last night. I was trying to golf, and someone had swiped my golf clubs. The ones I was using were too short. I couldn’t take a full swing. I was trying to tee off and a bunch of people were crowding me. Some girl was trying to talk to me, and they were waiting to hit, and I looked like a jackass.

Earlier in the dream I was in the Navy, and I hated everyone I worked with. I had to work on some training jackets or some other bullshit. It was horrible.

Dreams suck.