Friday, October 31, 2014

Friday, October 24, 2014

Lazy Americans for Equal Representation

Another dumb election season, another barrage of advertisements touting how this or that candidate hurt or helped "hard working families." Always with the "hard working families." What about the rest of us? What about the families that are just doing the bare minimum? The "slacker families?" Who's looking out for us?

Why are their no ads pandering to "lazy families," the "shiftless, borderline narcoleptic families?" Who is representing the "lackadaisical families?"
What candidate is looking out for the "lethargic families?"

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Still Carving a Chess Set

A couple of Queens:


Friday, October 10, 2014

Heartbreaking Chess Loss.

Oh to have move 27 back!!

Still Carving a Chess Set


IF YOU ARE PANICKED BY THE NEWS, RELAX

If you are panicked by the news, relax.

When Vietnam fell, Asia didn't fall to Communism due to the "domino effect."  In the 1970's, Legionnaire's disease didn’t kill us all.  There was no "smoking gun in the form of a mushroom cloud," due to some non-existent Iraqi WMD. Swine flu didn't kill everyone in 1976. (But 1918 was a serious outbreak)

You aren't going to get ebola, and no one is going to cut off your head.

The news lately has been pretty bleak, but that's the NEWS. I mean, the "news." It is designed to scare the public.  It is used to convince an increasingly apathetic public that constant, endless war is here to stay, and that there is no way around it.

Remember how the "news" warned us about 9/11? Oh yeah, they didn't.

Don't worry about what the "news" is yammering.  The "news" is very bad at predicting the future. They are very good at telling you and I that the sky is falling.

One accurate warning we DID get wasn't from the news, but from Eisenhower:

"In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists, and will persist."
The "news" today is part of the military-industrial-media complex, and it is designed to keep you and I distracted and afraid, so certain people can sell weapons for war, and pills to relax the consumers, who for some reason, are shitting themselves with fear.

There's also something, or at least there WAS something, called the Smith-Mundt act of 1948, which forbade the US Government from broadcasting propaganda within the US. It was repealed in 2013.

Didn't hear about that in the news? Imagine that.

So relax. Stop watching the news. It's just a bunch of fear-mongering, and a great deal of it may or may not be scripted directly from the State Department, to keep you and I shitting our pants and buying tranquilizers to try to cope.

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

You Aren't Going to Get Ebola

You aren't going to get Ebola. Terrorists aren't going to cut off your head. You won't be shot by a random gunman at the mall/theater/church/school. What annoys you is a symptom of a bigger problem. 9/11 wasn't an inside job. That new gadget won't fix it. (There's nothing to fix.) The government isn't going to take your guns. Gun owners aren't taking over the world. Your party won't fix anything. The government isn't watching you; you aren't that interesting. Cops can't help it. Criminals can't help it. You (probably) won't end up homeless, but if you do, you'll figure something out. Stop watching the news. You aren't crazy. You're doing the best you can. God isn't threatened by science. Be kinder than you have to be. Creationists won't destroy science. Legalized gay marriage won't turn you gay. Yes, stupidity is everywhere, but not everyone is stupid on the same frequency. Things aren't unraveling, they're changing, just like always. The slope isn't that slippery. Stop taking selfies. People are not getting dumber. Most Christians don't care if you're gay. Most atheists don't care if you're Christian. Christmas isn't under attack. Your ________ is less interesting than you think. Booze isn't going to fix it. Stop trying to fix it. Rich people can't help it. Poor people can't help it. You don't need a new _____ unless the one you have is broken. You don't need a new _____. Nativity scenes do not lead to theocracy. The world economy will keep tottering along. You annoy somebody. You look fine. Your clothes are fine. Your car is fine. Your booze is fine. Your phone is fine. It's good enough. You don't need pills from the TV. The Internet isn't harming your kids. Everything is going to work itself out. Relax.

Saturday, October 04, 2014

#93 THE GREATEST TOAST OF ALL

Be-cause the great-est
Toast of all,
Is easy to achieeeeeeeeeve,
Learn how to maaaake French toast,
It's the greatest, toaaast of all.

Crack two eggs into some milk,
And mix it up with any utensil,
Add some bread, a frying pan,
You can't take away my dignity!

Be-cause the great-est
Toast of all,
Is easy to achieeeeeeeeeve,
Learn how to maaaake French toast,
It's the greatest, toaaast of all.

Friday, October 03, 2014

#87 "LEARN MORE"

Click to learn more.
Click to learn more, you guys.
Call or click to learn more.
Learn more at our website.
Learn more, you guys.
Call or click today to learn more.
Learn more.
Learn more.
Learn more about the thing we're trying to sell you.
Call or click to learn more.
Learn more.
You don't know enough. Learn more.
Learn more, stupid. Call or click to learn more.
Learn more.
Learn.
Learn consumer, learn.
You will learn.
We'll teach you.
Learn more.
Click to learn more.
You can't avoid it. Learn more.
Learn more.

Thursday, October 02, 2014

About Me

My photo
I am the author of 8 books: Android Down, Firewood for Cannibals, Brain Giblets, The Cubicles of Madness, Booze and News, Get Your Zen On, Zen Happens, and most recently, Robot Stories. I live and write in Michigan. My website is at danmanning.com

this is my website:
danmanning.com

Get my books!

at amazon.com

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at amazon.com

at amazon.com

at amazon.com

at amazon.com

at amazon.com