OPINION TIME

What is your opinion about OPINION TIME?

Here is where we will have a frank and open discussion about our opinions about OPINION TIME.

If someone disagrees with you about OPINION TIME, make sure to let them know; tell them your opinion about them disagreeing with your opinion about OPINION TIME. This is constructive.

Do not change your opinion about OPINION TIME under any circumstances, but be certain that with a reasonable argument, you can change another person's opinion about OPINION TIME.

Remember, if someone disagrees with your opinion about OPINION TIME, they are wrong, and their disagreement with your opinion about OPINION TIME is a personal attack. It is best to respond in kind with a personal attack. Insult their character, heredity, or intelligence. This is a sound persuasive tactic that always works, and brings those of differing opinions around to your way of thinking.

OPINION TIME. What is your opinion?

# THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH THAT THING

"There's a problem with that thing."

"No there isn't."

"Yes there is. That thing is happening all the time. We could fix the problem. It would take a lot of work, but..."

"No. There isn't a problem. I do not see a problem."

"But what about X, Y, and Z? We need to fix this stuff. Something needs to change."

"Those are isolated incidents. They are not connected in any way. All circumstances and events exist in a vacuum."

"They are a trend. They are a symptom of a bigger issue."

"No they aren't. Can you give me a specific example?"

"A couple, but there are so many..."

"If you can't give me twenty specific examples, right now, off the top of your head, there isn't a problem. If you give me twenty examples, I'll ask for twenty-one examples."

"This Thing is a problem. It's complicated and involves..."

"I don't see it. It isn't affecting me, so it isn't a problem..."

"It's a problem."

"Do you have a specific solution, that you can describe completely, right now? Is it foolproof and perfect, as all plans are foolproof and perfect?"

"Well no..."

"See? Then there is no problem, and even if there was a problem, which there isn't, it can't be fixed because there is no perfect solution that is easy, and involves no sacrifice. No problem."

"But..."

"Nope. End of discussion. I have to go do things now. Also, booze now. I do not have time for this. Things are going well for me, so there is no problem. Booze now, and sports. Booze now?"

"Yes, booze I suppose."

~~~  LATER ~~~

"Can you believe that thing that happened on the news!? It is awful and terrible! This will briefly make me somewhat sad, for a few days, or hours!!"

"Yes. I can believe it. I don't see why you are surprised. It is part of the thing we were talking about the other day, these things are connected."

"No. There is no problem. That is not a real problem. We don't need to fix it, it isn't a problem."

"You don't see how that led to this?"

"No. It is another isolated incident. I have to go do things now that are important to me. Work stuff now. Booze later, and also, sports."

#46 THE GUYS IN TIES

Guys in ties
Are in disguise
Because they know
You will surmise

That they are wise
And civilized
So they can tell
A thousand lies

"Deeply saddened,"
"Mistakes were made,"
"The documents were all mislaid."
"The emails somehow got deleted."
The biggest lies are most repeated.

An army of lawyers
Are all on hand
To lie in a language
We don't understand

And the guys with ties
In suits tailor-fitted
Will always manage to get acquitted
The system will maintain the status-quo
But if you are poor?
Off to jail you go.

Lazy Americans for Equal Representation

Another dumb election season, another barrage of advertisements touting how this or that candidate hurt or helped "hard working families." Always with the "hard working families." What about the rest of us? What about the families that are just doing the bare minimum? The "slacker families?" Who's looking out for us?

Why are their no ads pandering to "lazy families," the "shiftless, borderline narcoleptic families?" Who is representing the "lackadaisical families?"
What candidate is looking out for the "lethargic families?"

WHY THE RICH CAN RUN OVER THE POOR

Recently in the news, you may have read that a rich kid ran over four people and for his drunken crime, gets to spend time in a half-million dollar a year resort for rich people. You may be annoyed by this. But you must understand that the rich cannot possibly be expected to be thrown in jail, because they are rich. These are the aristocracy, and they are better than you and me, in every way, and the law is on their side.

It is a law that they have created in their own image, with their money, which God has bestowed on them because They are his favorite children.

They work very hard in their fancy schools to which their parents, whom God loves very much, sent them in order for them to take their rightful places in society.

It is a society in which you must struggle. You will continue to exist in this system, which works just fine, and although you may work much harder for much less, it is because you did not have the forethought to slide out of a rich lady's vagina in an expensive hospital when you were born. They had that foresight, and they are rewarded for it with all the riches in the world.

They are organized. They can pay people to devote entire careers to promote their interests in the halls of power, by giving money to their friends in the halls of power. This might seem like "bribery," but that is a vulgar term. They prefer to call it freedom of speech, so it becomes freedom of speech, and who in their right mind has a problem with freedom of speech? They can shape the laws to make sure they remain happy and rich! Would you deny them this right? You could organize too, if you had time, and since time is money, you don't have time. If only you had more money, you could take time off to organize. But who has time for that? Those bills aren't going to pay themselves.

Is it fair? Of course. The rich are organized and powerful. You could organize too, but if you do, it is probably against the law somehow, and if it isn't, it will be, because laws can be changed. If you organize enough, armored thugs with utility belts filled with torture devices will spray poison in your poor, proletariate faces and electrocute you with stun guns because you will learn your place. You live in the time of the Oligarchs, but you don't know it yet because of patriotic songs about "freedom" and "bravery," and you believe it: oh yes, you had better believe in it, because if you start to think about it too much, you might realize where you are. You will believe it until you get a whiff of pepper spay, and then you back off, for freedom.

Once you learn to know your place, it will be easier to take. But like it or not, you will take it. So know your place already.

The Rich can run over the poor because they must deal with the overwhelming burden of money and power, to which they are entitled. Being obscenely wealthy has its side effected, so how can they possibly be held responsible for their actions?  Why would they take responsibility? Who would hold them responsible? Other rich people? The law? The law belongs to them. They are above the law because they own the law. They write the law.

Now get back to work Proles. Know your place and be thankful the incredibly wealthy are out there, running people over, writing laws, fixing elections, gerrymandering, closing factories and speaking to you on giant screens.

Because Freedom.

Venn Diagrams

#75 SPRINKLE A MIGHTY LAWN

Trapped by our Nice Things,
We soldier on.
The indomitable spirit of a
Set Schedule.
We look at the numbers and sigh.
It must get better, if only
We soldier on.

Trapped in our Conditioned Air,
The automatic sprinklers
Mock your tiny lawns.

Trapped in our Conditioned Air,
Staring at bumpered
Tail lights.

We sit in our Churches
And pat ourselves on the back.
We hang pictures of our penniless
God
In our Mortgaged McMansions.

On the rolling lawns of our
Golf Courses, we feel the
Mob
Closing in.

We built this.
You cannot take it from us.
It is ours.
"Blessed be the meek,"
But I got MINE.

I deserve this because
My grandfather beat Hitler.
This old house belongs to
ME.

The bad luck of my brothers
Is not my problem.
My automatic sprinklers
Sprinkle a MIGHTY LAWN.
A lawn decreed by God.

That I would go to a good
College
That my job be deemed
Important enough to keep (for now).

That my evaluations would be sufficient.
Here, and in the Hereafter.

*  *  *

My father's money,
And his father's money before him,
Says I get to gamble
With your money.

My car's leather interior,
The space-aged dashboard,
My commute to work,
My eventual comfortable retirement.

Light beer.
High definition sports.
Hardwood floors.
Wife in yoga pants.
Pacified children.
Peace.

These are the promises
Made to ME by a successful
Chain of theme restaurants
That are sprinkled
Among the strip malls and
Malls Proper.

Places themselves in their
Rightful places across the
Six Lane Avenues from such places
As PF Chang's and
Applebee's.

I have earned this.
I worked in a vacuumed.
It is I who chose to be born
To a woman who chose to be married
To a rich man.
That is my wisdom.

I drink a refined combination of
Craft Beers and watch
The Right College Sports.
On magnificent, wall mounted
Screens.

My yoga panted wife
Works hard also, and
Our Children play
Video games on the biggest
Screens
And go with us on the biggest
Vacations.

And this stuff is OURS,
And one day this stuff with be
THEIRS.

How dare you blame us
For having nice stuff?
But think:
If our positions were switched,
You'd want to keep your stuff too.

Same as me.

But I would never feel like you.
Outside Looking In.
I would never want the system
Changed,
Even if it worked only
For a Lucky Few.

We all get the
SAME EXACT OPPORTUNITIES
(to spring from the loins
of the rich)
It has to be that way.

Otherwise, the story I
Tell myself
Doesn't work.

A system that works for some
But not for others
WORKS (for some).

I got mine.
Screw you.

bla bla bla-dee bla

Public discourse today seems like an endless current of stupid things said by overly serious, moneyed people. The flow of stupid is ever increasing in its frequency and amplitude.

It is polarizing, harmful, cynical, and crude. It gets us nowhere, solves nothing, and tears us apart.

There is a story about King Solomon, who, when two women were arguing over who should keep a baby (for whatever reason), King Solomon suggested cutting the baby in half. He suggested this not as an actual solution, but to find out which woman really loved the baby.

Our political sides, both of them, would not only always insist on cutting the baby in half, (they've already cut America in half) they would claim to have the better solution on HOW to cut the baby in half. Then they would fight over who gets to cut the baby in half. They would form committees to discern the most wasteful way to cut the baby in half. They would fight over who got to keep what half, and once that was decided, they would try to cheat the other side out of the other half.

All that is left is satire, irony, and the vague hope that when the wheels come off, the rich and powerful will suffer along with the rest of us.

#34 HELICOPTER OVERHEAD

I hear a helicopter overhead
I feel no dread
I always get my daily bread
At night a warm safe bed
There's nothing in my head.

There's nothing in my head
But stale day-old facts
About slacks and super PACS
And phantom terrorist attacks
And lying network hacks
Pack propaganda facts
Into the Ex-Lax artifacts
For the slack-jawed NASCAR
Grandma see-saw sweat pant
Tally-whacks.

The left- right food fight
Just don't feel right tonight
The flap-jaw hee-haw
Presidential hoo-haw
Pander-dander flip flop
Liars poker drawer drop
Panty swap homophobic
Podium-hump dipshit
Shit-storm robocalling
Bullshit's gotta stop
Wall street drop stop
Roll your own
Photoshop anorexic
Empty headed booty
Call of Cthulhu brainstorm

He slept peacefully, with an untroubled heart.

There was once a very corrupt official. I know that sounds fantastic, but it is true. There was once a corrupt official. He took bribes at every opportunity, without the slightest feeling of shame or guilt. All day long influential men would come in and out of his offices, getting promises for votes, and dropping off drafts of legislation that would be put forth and enacted without much change to the wording.

 Everyone was happy with this arrangement. The government men were happy. The lawyers and CEOs and weapons manufacturers were happy. Almost everyone was happy, except the poor people. The poor people and the working people were not happy. But that was no concern to the official, who slept in a large bed with his fashionable wife.

would-be grammer nerd.

I don't normally take part in grammar nerdishness, but this is too good to pass up:

Yesterday, on NPR, I was in the car driving with my daughter, listening to a story about "Don't Ask Don't Tell", and the story ended like this:

In one of his recent tweets today, Choi said he missed three verbal and five math questions on the skills test. He passed. But his future and the future of thousands of would-be gay service members remains unclear.

Now, I instantly said, "wait a minute, don't they mean, 'gay would-be service members?' "

The phrase "would-be gay service members" indicated that there are service members who are currently straight who are hoping to be gay. I'm sure that's not what they meant.

Instead they should have said, "gay would-be service members."

Anywhoo, the text of the program is here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=130704683 the backward wordage is in the last paragraph.

I guess some things never change:

"...he saw not the exhilarating culture and unsurpassable art, but the commercial corruption and the political chaos; he saw insatiable merchants and bankers absorbing the vital resources of the nation, incompetent politicians and clever orators misleading a busy populace into disastrous plots and wars, factions cleaving classes and classes congealing into castes: this, said Philip, was not a nation but only a welter of individuals—geniuses and slaves..."

From The Story of Philosophy (1926) discussing the opinion of Philip II (382 – 336 BC), King of Macedon, the father of Alexander the Great.

Our Long National Nightmare is Over

Finally. Finally. Finally.

VOTE!

VOTE!

All these really pretty famous people say so:

Babies + Drill = WRONG!

At recent Republican rallies, they have been chanting "Drill baby drill!". Sarah Palin even mentioned it during the debate. Babies and drills do not mix. Babies should not be allowed to operate any power tools, and drills are probably one of the most dangerous power tools a baby could operate. Why do the Republicans hate babies? It is obvious what would happen if a baby got hold of a power drill. Besides the risk of serious damage to property, the baby could get hurt! The sound alone would probably scare the baby and make it cry.

Or do the Republicans actually want to drill babies? This is even worse. And they claim to respect life. Bullshit. What kind of sick agenda do the Republicans have if all they want to do is drill holes in defenseless babies? That is just un-American.

We have to stop these sick bastards. Vote Obama on November 4th, and lets stop these sick Republican bastards from hurting the babies.

listen~

oh, this makes me so friggin' proud . . .

Gov. Elliot Spitzer busted for high-priced prostitute

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

His nickname was "Mr. Clean". Why do the wives of these assholes stand by them while they make their public apology? Why? It's stupid. Why doesn't her DIVORCE LAWYER stand next to him?

Charles Barkley: Friggin Awesome

http://www.breitbart.tv/html/48184.html

Tell it like it is man!