Wednesday, June 24, 2015

RIPOST: FOR USE IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN:

"I was only trying to be friendly."

"Perhaps you should reexamine your methodology."


Monday, June 22, 2015

WALKING IN A LAKE

The first time I heard the song "Walking in L.A." (1984, Missing Persons) I thought they were saying,

"Walking in a lake / Nobody walks in a lake"

And I found that puzzling. No one walks in the bottom of a lake, but if you go to the beach, you have to walk out to where it is deep enough to swim, usually, if it is a public access beach.

So it seemed inaccurate.

Also, did you know that the lead singer from Missing Persons also played the "Mary" character in Frank Zappa's album, "Joe's Garage?"

Sunday, June 21, 2015

# THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH THAT THING

"There's a problem with that thing."

"No there isn't."

"Yes there is. That thing is happening all the time. We could fix the problem. It would take a lot of work, but..."

"No. There isn't a problem. I do not see a problem."

"But what about X, Y, and Z? We need to fix this stuff. Something needs to change."

"Those are isolated incidents. They are not connected in any way. All circumstances and events exist in a vacuum."

"They are a trend. They are a symptom of a bigger issue."

"No they aren't. Can you give me a specific example?"

"A couple, but there are so many..."

"If you can't give me twenty specific examples, right now, off the top of your head, there isn't a problem. If you give me twenty examples, I'll ask for twenty-one examples."

"This Thing is a problem. It's complicated and involves..."

"I don't see it. It isn't affecting me, so it isn't a problem..."

"It's a problem."

"Do you have a specific solution, that you can describe completely, right now? Is it foolproof and perfect, as all plans are foolproof and perfect?"

"Well no..."

"See? Then there is no problem, and even if there was a problem, which there isn't, it can't be fixed because there is no perfect solution that is easy, and involves no sacrifice. No problem."

"But..."

"Nope. End of discussion. I have to go do things now. Also, booze now. I do not have time for this. Things are going well for me, so there is no problem. Booze now, and sports. Booze now?"

"Yes, booze I suppose."

~~~  LATER ~~~

"Can you believe that thing that happened on the news!? It is awful and terrible! This will briefly make me somewhat sad, for a few days, or hours!!"

"Yes. I can believe it. I don't see why you are surprised. It is part of the thing we were talking about the other day, these things are connected."

"No. There is no problem. That is not a real problem. We don't need to fix it, it isn't a problem."

"You don't see how that led to this?"

"No. It is another isolated incident. I have to go do things now that are important to me. Work stuff now. Booze later, and also, sports."

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

HEAD DOWN (look at the phone)

MUSICIANS! I have just composed this masterpiece, which I give to the public domain, for use in performances etc, etc. YOU ARE WELCOME!

downloadable .pdf of this masterpiece found here: http://www.danmanning.com/music/phonehead.pdf

Saturday, June 06, 2015

AN AMAZING DISCOVERY!

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS!

I was just listening to the 1973 Steve Miller Band song, "The Joker," and I think I've stumbled across something in the lyrics.

I suspect that the line, "really love your peaches / wanna shake your tree" may have NOTHING to do with the peach tree (prunus persica), or the harvesting of the fruit from that tree, but something altogether different.  (I think it is a reference to sex stuff.)

I'm going to investigate this further, and keep you posted.


Just thought you'd want to know. 

Friday, June 05, 2015

# LET'S FOCUS ON DUMB, SUPERFICIAL THINGS, FOR FREEDOM

An old guy who won a track-and-field event 39 years ago got a sex-change operation.

Unless there's some potential for romantic involvement, for a mature, thinking person, another person's gender should be one of the least interesting and least important attributes about that person.

If the winner of the men's decathlon event at the 1976 Summer Olympics in Montreal wants to change genders, then good for him, that's his business.

If an annoying professional "exister" on an annoying reality show wants to change genders, then good for him. That's his business.

That annoying person on that annoying reality show will probably still be annoying, because, for most situations, gender does not matter.

Unless there's some potential for romantic involvement, for a mature, thinking person, another person's gender should be one of the least interesting and least important attributes about that person.

It might be important to that other person, and that’s fine. Respect that.

But really, for most situations, when interacting with other humans in non-romantic things, gender is unimportant.
People who make a big deal about superficial things are like large, dumb children.

The only person who should be concerned about the gender of the winner of the men's decathlon event at the 1976 Summer Olympics in Montreal is the winner of the men's decathlon event at the 1976 Summer Olympics, or somebody who is trying to fuck the winner of the men's decathlon event at the 1976 Summer Olympics in Montreal.

Are you hoping to be romantically involved with the winner of the men's decathlon event at the 1976 Summer Olympics? Are you currently romantically involved with the winner of the men's decathlon event at the 1976 Summer Olympics?

No? Then the gender of the winner of the men's decathlon event at the 1976 Summer Olympics doesn't matter.

An old guy who won a track-and-field event 39 years ago got a sex-change operation.

About Me

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I am the author of 8 books: Android Down, Firewood for Cannibals, Brain Giblets, The Cubicles of Madness, Booze and News, Get Your Zen On, Zen Happens, and most recently, Robot Stories. I live and write in Michigan. My website is at danmanning.com

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