# THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH THAT THING

"There's a problem with that thing."

"No there isn't."

"Yes there is. That thing is happening all the time. We could fix the problem. It would take a lot of work, but..."

"No. There isn't a problem. I do not see a problem."

"But what about X, Y, and Z? We need to fix this stuff. Something needs to change."

"Those are isolated incidents. They are not connected in any way. All circumstances and events exist in a vacuum."

"They are a trend. They are a symptom of a bigger issue."

"No they aren't. Can you give me a specific example?"

"A couple, but there are so many..."

"If you can't give me twenty specific examples, right now, off the top of your head, there isn't a problem. If you give me twenty examples, I'll ask for twenty-one examples."

"This Thing is a problem. It's complicated and involves..."

"I don't see it. It isn't affecting me, so it isn't a problem..."

"It's a problem."

"Do you have a specific solution, that you can describe completely, right now? Is it foolproof and perfect, as all plans are foolproof and perfect?"

"Well no..."

"See? Then there is no problem, and even if there was a problem, which there isn't, it can't be fixed because there is no perfect solution that is easy, and involves no sacrifice. No problem."

"But..."

"Nope. End of discussion. I have to go do things now. Also, booze now. I do not have time for this. Things are going well for me, so there is no problem. Booze now, and sports. Booze now?"

"Yes, booze I suppose."

~~~  LATER ~~~

"Can you believe that thing that happened on the news!? It is awful and terrible! This will briefly make me somewhat sad, for a few days, or hours!!"

"Yes. I can believe it. I don't see why you are surprised. It is part of the thing we were talking about the other day, these things are connected."

"No. There is no problem. That is not a real problem. We don't need to fix it, it isn't a problem."

"You don't see how that led to this?"

"No. It is another isolated incident. I have to go do things now that are important to me. Work stuff now. Booze later, and also, sports."

# THE NEW SPEEDWAY IS OPEN! FREEDOM!

The Speedway near our house has been closed for a couple of months.  They tore it down to build a new one.  It is just a few blocks from our house.  Oh how we took it for granted.  

So it opened today, just three hours ago, and despite the 98 degree heat, Deb and I walked there to check it out.

As we walked toward the future, to that grand spaceship that was the new Speedway, I dreamed of all the magical things that would be there: lotto, beer, meat-like things, snacks, donuts, pizza-adjacent foodlike items, candy, chips, an ATM, gasoline... everything my American Freedoms allow me to enjoy.

Old Glory flew high and proud above the car lot next to the Speedway.  The New Speedway was open! It was open! Oh the Freedom to exchange American currency for products and scratch-off tickets.  I was like Charlie, and I had a Golden Ticket to the Wonka Factory, only the tickets were green, and the Wonka Factory was a convenience store.

We strode in as though striding through the very gates of heaven.  If Elvis Presley himself was behind the counter, I would not have been shocked, for this was heaven on earth.  Lite Beer and Lotto!  Breath Mints and those brown gloves with red lining!

Wide eyed with innocent wonder, we walked the candy isles.  There were HUGE bags of sunflower seeds!

Everything was new and shiny.  The employees, yet to die from the inside out, gave the impression of actually being alive inside.  Their spirits were yet to be broken!!  There was a WALK IN BEER COOLER which I walked into. It was very cool in there.  I didn't want to leave.

They had Coca-Cola in GLASS BOTTLES.

Oh to be Free and American in this great land.  To buy lotto tickets and a 40oz. Lite Beer in the same place!  Hunting magazines and car magazines!  5 Hour Energy and Snickers bars!

My first Muzak Moment in the new Speedway?  Kansas's 1977 smash hit, "Dust in The Wind."

I stood there a moment, serenaded by a 35 year old recording of soft guitar, and pondered what this all meant as four flavors of Slushies slushed around in their American Freedom Slushy machines.

In conclusion, Freedom.

A Cheap Buzz

When you stop drinking after years of drinking, sobriety becomes its own type of madness. A long period of Clarity of mind is in itself a strange high, and it can be fun, as long as you can fold it in on itself. Thinking too much is a cheap buzz.

generic blog post

Another great holiday weekend. Plenty of turkey. I worked today and yesterday. Good to have work on holiday weekends. Drank too much yesterday. Went to the Hideout and Ken had some mead and he gave me a glass for free, then I switched to wine, then to beer. Bad move. I am such a dumb ass. I had a massive headache and was in bed by nine. I am old.

Today it snowed and we moved firewood under the tree house and into the garage. Got to have dry wood.

I'm working on a science fiction story, a non-fiction historical thing I'm not too sure about, and a PHP database program for a customer.

The Blog Post I Posted Thursday

I've been playing way too much World of Warcraft. I haven't been writing. At all. Last night Don and I went to see the Griffins play the Toronto Marlies. They won 5-3. After that we stopped in to Hopcat to have a beer. There were people there in very flamboyant pirate hats. That was cool.

At work, a law office was flooded when a pipe burst. A tax preparation office was riddled with spyware. An outlook PST file was corrupt. I did some minor web development. Spyware is making a big comeback. I had to go to my old employer because a contractor there can't get the IT guys to help him with anything. I went into the murky depths of the cubicle farm and was so glad I was no longer a cubicle dweller.

I am going to enter a chess tournament April 5th. I played against the Xbox and realized I suck at chess. Reading chess books is not the same as playing chess.

It's running season again. As spring approaches, I get out my running shoes and let them sit in plain sight for about a week, then I will consider running.

When I went to VA for Jim's retirement, he had this great booze at his house: PAMA Pomegranate Liqueur. God-damn, that's some tasty booze. It will give you a headache.

What the F**k is Lindsay Lohan's Problem?

Get a friggin' chauffeur. She can't afford to hire a driver? Duh. Rich people are so friggin' stupid. But sometimes they pull off some stunning mug shots . . .

THIS BOOK HAS NOT BEEN CONDENSED, ITS BULK IS LESS BECAUSE GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS PROHIBIT USE OF HEAVIER PAPER.

Why no blog posts lately? Well, my life has been smooth and uneventful. Today I joined a writer’s group, and it was actually pretty nice. I’m motivated to write. Plus, people read my writing, and that makes me happy. This week I mowed the lawn. I fixed several computers. I pulled about a million mulberries from our pool. I went to the Firehouse Open, thrown each year by some friends of mine, and I had many Bloody Marys. I golfed okay, I suppose. I’m working on a book idea, but so far, it sucks ass.

My fascination with everything Paris Hilton is finally wearing off. For awhile there, I had to know what she was doing every minute of every day, and I had no shortage of "news" outlets that were more than willing to give me everything I wanted. Actually, I'm being sarcastic. Sort of. London is getting attacked by terrorists. I’m already sick of all the presidential candidates on both sides.

I’m watering my lawn. I’m going to have a rum-and-club-soda-with-lime in a few minutes. I’m reading The Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham. I looked this edition up on the Internets, and somebody’s selling one for $350.00 bucks. This book has the following stamped on the backside of the title page:

THIS BOOK HAS NOT BEEN CONDENSED, ITS BULK IS LESS BECAUSE GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS PROHIBIT USE OF HEAVIER PAPER.

I think they must have been rationing paper or something for the war? It came out in 1944.

Anywhoo, Deb and the girls are visiting her mom today, so I got the place to myself. I’m going to have a drink, a smoke, and a sit on the porch, and I’m going to read.

I’ve been trying to catch my secret crush Maria Sharapova at the Wimbledon, but I keep missing it. I keep catching the guys playing tennis, and who wants to watch that crap? That's almost as pointless as watching men's beach volleyball. Makes no sense whatsoever.

Mojito

Today I spent the morning fixing many things at a new business customer. It went well. I don’t know if you’ve seen those Bacardi mojito recipe commercials, where everybody’s real cool and everything, and there are lots of hot women dancing around all sexy-like. Anyhoo, I made one of those drinks, and they are pretty tasty. A forbidden Lambada style dance party didn’t erupt in my house, but it is a cool drink on a hot day.

Otherwise, I have nothing to report.

Oh, did you see this?