|#40 The Golden Compass||Philip Pullman||1995||* * *||The writing and scenes were well done, but the story didn't do anything for me. Lots of people are saying this is a great book, and it is pretty good, but it doesn't live up to all the hype. ~ December 30, 2007|
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
I woke up at 5:00 this morning and cleaned my desk. I sent out 4 short stories, and through the miracle of electronic mail messages, or "email" as the kids like to call it, I got a reject letter the SAME DAY! A first. I re-wrote the ending to one story.
Savannah drew the most amazing bird sketches. They are suitable for framing.
Alex found 6 state quarters for our state quarters collection book.
Spoke to Barry for about an hour. Sat in front of the fire and read a book and wrote while Deb and the Girls went to baby Savannah's 2nd birthday party.
I had a root canal yesterday. Today I have vicodin :)
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
Yogi Bear; Scoobie-Doo; Speed Buggy; Lost in Space; Bewitched; I Dream of Jeanie; Ultraman; Gilligan's Island; Green Acres; Leave It to Beaver; Grape Ape; Rocky & Bulwinkle; Kojack; Charlie's Angels; Brady Bunch; The Lawrence Welk Show; Dukes of Hazard; Mannix; Dr. Who; Star Trek; Sesame Street; Electric Company; Zoom; Nova; Battlestar Galactica; Twilight Zone; Night Gallery; Night Stalker; The Six Million Dollar Man; The Bionic Woman; The Incredible Hulk; Wonder Woman; The Incredible Hulk; Fantasy Island; The Price is Right; Name that Tune; Hollywood Squares; To Tell the Truth; The Gong Show; Dancing with The Stars; Sonny and Cher; Shields and Yarnell Show; Candid Camera; Cosby Show; Who's the Boss; Three's Company; All in The Family; Rhoda; Alice; Frasier; One Day At a Time; Cheers; Dallas; In Living Color; MadTV; Saturday Night Live; Austin City Limits; Second City Television (SCTV); Partridge Family; My Three Sons; Family Affair; Greatest American Hero; CSI; X-Files; Pee Wee Herman Show; Bugs Bunny Road Runner Show; Carol Burnett; Kids In the Hall; Seinfeld; Gunsmoke; The Cisco Kid; Bonanza; Kung Fu; The Simpsons; Futurama; 60 Minutes; Nightline; COPS; Survivor; American Idol; Hardy Boys; Nancy Drew; Drew Cary Show; Who's Line Is It Anyway; Reno 911; Sarah Silverman Program; Spongebob Squarepants; Dirty Jobs; Speed Racer; Charmed; 90210; Different World; Fat Albert; What's Happening; Maud; The Jeffersons; Good Times; Real World; Big Brother; The Bachelor; Joker's Wild; Who Wants to be a Millionaire?; American Gladiator; Ninja Warrior; Battle of the Network Stars; Acceptable TV; Roseanne; Flinstones; Jetsons; The Land of The Lost; Wonderful World of Disney; Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom; ; Quantum Leap; Petticoat Juntion; Donnie and Marie Show; Crocodile Hunter; David Letterman; Little House on The Prairie; The Saint; Emergency; Marcus Welby, M.D.; Doogie Houser; Allie McBeal; Boston Legal; C.H.I.P.S.; Columbo; Let's Make a Deal; Tonight Show; The Daily Show; Stephen Colbert; Different Strokes; Captain Kangaroo; Bozo the Clown; Kukla, Fran, and Ollie; Wheel of Fortune; Jeopardy; $64,000 Pyramid; Starsky and Hutch; Baretta; Facts of Life; H.R. Pufnstuf, Southpark; Monty Python's Flying Circus; Young Ones; Tom and Jerry; Underdog; Mighty Mouse; The Man From Atlantis; Three Stooges; Little Rascals; Abbot and Costello; Hawaii Five-O; Dragnet; Get Smart; Lassie; Munsters; Adams Family; Johnny Quest; Batman; Superman; Superfriends; Laugh-In; The Monkees; Josie and The Pussycats; Archie; Marries . . . With Children; The Wolfman Jack Show; Grizzly Adams; Flipper; Gomer Pyle; Andy Griffith; Hogan's Heroes.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Television, the Drug of the nation(1991)
Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy
has turned into
one nation under the influence
of one drug
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
our United States of Unconsciousness
Apathetic therapeutic and extremely addictive
The methadone metronome pumping out
150 channels 24 hours a day
you can flip through all of them
and still there's nothing worth watching
T.V. is the reason why less than 10 per cent of our
Nation reads books daily
Why most people think Central Amerika
Socialism means unamerican
and Apartheid is a new headache remedy
absorbed in it's world it's so hard to find us
It shapes our mind the most
maybe the mother of our Nation
should remind us
that we're sitting too close to...
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
the stomping ground for political candidates
Where bears in the woods
are chased by Grecian Formula'd
T.V. is mechanized politic's
remote control over the masses
co-sponsored by environmentally safe gases
watch for the PBS special
It's the perpetuation of the two party system
where image takes precedence over wisdom
Where sound bite politics are served to
the fastfood culture
Where straight teeth in your mouth
are more important than the words
that come out of it
Race baiting is the way to get selected
Willie Horton or
Will he not get elected on...
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
T.V., is it the reflector or the director?
Does it imitate us
or do we imitate it
because a child watches 1500 murders before he's
twelve years old and we wonder why we've created
a Jason generation that learns to laugh
rather than to abhor the horror
T.V. is the place where
armchair generals and quarterbacks can
experience first hand
the excitement of warfare
as the theme song is sung in the background
Sugar sweet sitcoms
that leave us with a bad actor taste while
pop stars metamorphosize into soda pop stars
You saw the video
You heard the soundtrack
Well now go buy the soft drink
Well, the onla cola that I support
would be a union C.O.L.A.(Cost Of Living Allowance)
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
Back again, "New and improved"
We return to our irregularly programmed schedule
hidden cleverly between heavy breasted
beer and car commercials
CNNESPNABCTNT but mostly B.S.
Where oxymoronic language like
"virtually spotless", "fresh frozen"
"light yet filling" and "military intelligence"
have become standard
T.V. is the place where phrases are redefined
like "recession" to "necessary downturn"
"Crude oil" on a beach to "mousse"
"Civilian death" to "collateral damages"
and being killed by your own Army
is now called "friendly fire"
T.V. is the place where the pursuit
of happiness has become the pursuit of
Where toothpaste and cars have become
Where imagination is sucked out of children
by a cathode ray nipple
T.V. is the only wet nurse
that would create a cripple
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
But I’m doing the same thing, because In the back of my mind, I think someone is going to read these words, but that “someone” may never exist.
(later . . .) These idiots are still at it. Now they’re trying to argue why Jesus was put on the cross. I’ve always imagined in my mind Christians sitting around debating how many angels can fit on the head of a pin, but I never imagined a stupider exchange of hot air in my most derisive imaginings. These two are so incredibly stupid.
(still later . . .)and now they’re parsing the word “submit” as in “wives submit to their husband.” The one guy actually says: “So I looked up the meaning of the word ‘submit’ and it doesn’t actually mean ‘submit.’”
I swear I want to strangle these stupid bastards.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Spend $250 in one day in any store inside Woodland Mall between November 19 and December 16, 2007, bring your receipts to the Customer Service Desk and your receipts will be totaled, rounding to the nearest whole dollar and stamped as proof of expenditure. If your receipts total $250 or more from any store inside Woodland, you will be entered into a drawing to win an American Girl Doll with a retail value of $87. Only one prize awarded per person for any drawing.I dunno, it just seems weird. Think I'll mention The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard again.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Saturday, December 08, 2007
How about H.R. 1955, where they basically outlaw revolution; so you can't even talk about the government when they start really screwing up.
and H.R. 3791, where they'll hold anyone with an open wireless connection (coffee shops, bookstores, etc) responsible if someone looks at something bad on the Internets.
Monday, December 03, 2007
frog toast flower dance
fish creep tickle pig
dog need wonder butt
book cake window nose
rain red monkey stuff
plant dream music big
eye boy water light
girl good summer bug
hug song yellow run
Saturday, December 01, 2007
|#39 Pride and Prejudice||Jane Austen||1813||* * *||I know this is supposed to be a girl's book, but I read it anyway for the "what's the big deal" factor, because there are so many people (women) who are really into Jane Austen. Basically, Elizabeth goes to tea and visits friends and nothing happens. Mr. Darcy is a jerk, but then turns out he isn't a jerk. Various people say things. I couldn't finish this because I guess I'm too stupid to read it, or I'm a guy. Anyway, I don't get it. ~ November 26, 2007|
more awesome book reviews by me can be found here
Thursday, November 29, 2007
The Army first reached out to parents in 2005 as part of its Army of One campaign by advertising giant Leo Burnett. These ads were directed by Samuel Bayer, who made his mark directing Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” video.link
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Then I networked network printing goodness, which, as all of you know, makes its own gravy. Then I had two hamburgers and a regular order of fries at a new place I've discovered, McDonalds. Then I drove home. Then I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill and did some sit-ups and lifted a few weights.
Later I'm going to drink wine and watch TV with the missus. Before I do that, I'm going to work on my bestselling novel. After all that I'm probably going to go to sleep. While I'm asleep I'm probably going to dream about stuff, but I won't remember that stuff when I wake up because I rarely remember my dreams, and that's too bad, because I probably dream all kinds of cool stuff, like I have super powers or something. If I had super powers, I'd fly around and right wrongs. I'd fly around in my 2002 Ford Taurus, ending wars and bringing down a healthy can of whoop-ass on a lot of rich bastards. ("waterboarding isn't torture? then you don't mind trying it out for yourself huh?") I'd cure cancer and grow limbs back on all the people, and fuse spines and cause corn to grow in places like Darfur. I'd turn all land-mines into pumpkins and all automatic weapons into those plastic tubes you spin around, and they whistle? You know, those orange and green flexible tubes, and the only reason they are there so kids can spin them around and they whistle? The problem with those, at least when I was a kid, is that eventually we'd get bored and start wailing on each other with them, and that hurts. Almost as much as hot-wheel tracks. Ever get beat with a hot-wheel track? Those orange pieces of plastic about a yard long? That hurts like a m0thrfckr.
My friggin' dog is outside barking. Ginger is a beautiful dog, but she's the last friggin' dog we'll ever own because I'm getting semi-old and I'm sick of messing around with the dog, but of course, whenever I see her I immediately start baby-talking to her, and I'm pretty sure if anyone hears me they'll think I'm a crazy person.
I downloaded the movie NETWORK on the tivo, and I'm looking forward to seeing it. I saw this crazy paranoid video called THE ZEITGUIST on Google Video and now I'm all conspiracy theory in the head. But not really. I still don't buy the "911 was an inside job" theory, even though it is true the neocon fascists used it to invade Iraq. That's okay, I'm so tired of being outraged I'm not outraged anymore.
Well anywhoo, nothing happened today. Goodnight and good luck
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
undersimplify. I just woke up and was thinking that word, and I thought, "damn, I bet no one has ever thought of that word." Undersimplify would mean to make things too complicated, as in, "You're undersimplifying this. It's not that hard."
But Alas, I Googled it, and yes, somebody else already thought of the word "undersimplify".
But it is a damn fine unword nonetheless.
Okay, it's 4:30ish in the morning, I'm going back to bed.
This post was posted without the use of drugs or alcohol. Really.
Monday, November 19, 2007
"Since joining the Giants, Bonds had gone from a size 42 to a size 52 jersey; from size 10 ½ to size 13 cleats; and from a size 7 1/8 to size 7 ¼ cap, even though he had taken to shaving his head.."
Full grown men don't do that. At least they're not supposed to.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Barry Bonds took steroids, and baseball has a steroids problem. How much time did they spend on this? 4:48. Almost 5 minutes on a stupid game.
The second story? A typhoon kills at least 1100 people. Time spent: 1:33. Less than two minutes on a catastrophe bigger than 9/11. Not only were those people killed, but their farms and homes were destroyed.
If every professional baseball player overdosed with steroids and died tomorrow, the world would be a better place because baseball is stupid.
That's one reason why network news sucks.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Will we be consumers for the corporate good? Will our grandchildren be issued credit cards at birth?
Will GovernCorp put up enough cameras to keep us under enough Surveillance to bring back the land of the free? Will we know when it is safe enough to take the cameras down again? They will take the cameras down again, right?
Will we monitor enough phone conversations and emails to give us liberty? Will GovernCorp keep us safe from the bad people? Will we know when it is safe enough to stop eavesdropping?
Will we ever learn to "cooperate" while we're being herded and hogtied by the friendly police? Will we cooperate when it's our turn to be waterboarded?
Will GovernCorp pick the right dictator to keep the Middle East still enough to extract enough oil out from under it to burn up the atmosphere?"
Will the President and Senators and Congressmen wear their Corporate Masters' logos on their suits like they do in NASCAR so we can see who they really represent?
Will we fight enough wars to employ enough private contractors to keep the Military Industrial Complex afloat until we become a completely militarized nation?
Will we write our tax laws in such a way that we make enough billionaires that eventually their sweet generosity will trickle down to the rest of us?
Will we become polarized enough so that our great divided nation can stand on its two feet?
Will we retroactively abort criminals?
Will we watch enough television to fill enough couches with enough asses that we won't notice the tanks roll down our streets?
Will we taser enough students and protesters until they stop asking questions and focus on consuming? Will we position our Free Speech Zones far enough away from our Dear Leaders to keep them comfortable?
Will we privatize enough prisons and fill them with enough people to keep the guards and administrators and food service companies gainfully employed? Can we imprison enough people to turn a profit?
Will we waterboard enough Muslims to make them tells us what we want to know and teach them to love our freedom and our respect for human dignity?
Will we go into debt deep enough to buy enough flat screens and iPods and cell phones and computers until we never have to interface with each other directly ever again?
Will we strip-search enough grandmothers in enough airports in the name of freedom to finally make the skies friendly again?
Will the atmosphere wipe us out fast enough to save the planet from ourselves? Will we build enough cars to fill enough roads so we'll all go back to riding bicycles and walking?
Will we put our six billion heads together and agree that birth control is bad? Will we pump out enough babies to collapse the world in on itself?
Will the dollar collapse?
Will we need a wheelbarrow full of dollars to buy a loaf of bread?
Will we know when we've cut down the last tree?
Will we kill each other for a glass of water?
Will churches have armories?
Will pickup trucks full of men with automatic weapon search the streets for those who do not believe what they believe?
Will the mail trucks stop delivering the mail so we don't know we're foreclosed on?
Will the food trucks stop filling the grocery stores? Will we eat the bark from trees?
Will we resort to cannibalism?
Will Democrats taste any different than Republicans if we marinate them with teriyaki or barbeque sauce before we cook them?
Will we starve until it is sociably acceptable to bludgeon our neighbors and cook them over open fires in our backyards?
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
So, they're having a drought in the Southeast.
Ga. Governor Prays for Rain at CapitolIsn't God the one holding the rain back in the first place? I mean really. And if He has a reason to send a drought down on Georgia, maybe it isn't our place to try to talk him out of it.
By GREG BLUESTEIN – 1 day ago
ATLANTA (AP) — Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue stepped up to a podium outside the state Capitol on Tuesday and led a solemn crowd of several hundred people in a prayer for rain on his drought-stricken state.
"We've come together here simply for one reason and one reason only: To very reverently and respectfully pray up a storm," Perdue said after a choir provided a hymn. link
There are home owner's associations that won't allow people to hang out their laundry. No, that would ruin the aesthetics of the neighborhood. There are people who dig wells in their own yards so they can get past water restrictions. Not so they can save water, not so they can cut down on usage, but so they can water their lawns.
Yes, I think I know why God is causing droughts, fires, floods, and hurricanes all over the planet: God is trying to save the planet by wiping out the stupid, undeserving, fossile-fuel burning warlike primates that can't take a hint.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Boston, Massachusetts and Washington, DC effectively eliminate the right to contest parking tickets.
In an attempt to stem the loss of revenue from motorists contesting parking tickets, cities are effectively eliminating the traditional due process rights of motorists to defend themselves at an impartial hearing. By the end of next year, Washington, DC's Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) will not allow anyone who believes he unfairly received a citation to have his day in an administrative hearing.
"DMV will complete the phase-out of in-person adjudication of parking tickets in favor of mail-in and e-mail adjudication by December 2008," the Fiscal Year 2008 DMV plan states.
The move is intended to allow automated street sweeper parking ticket machines to boost the number of infractions cited well beyond the 1.6 million currently handed out by meter maids. As one-third of those who contest citations in the city are successful, the hearings cut significantly into the $100 million in revenue tickets generate each year.
Under the DMV's plan, motorists will only be able to object to a ticket by email or letter where city employees can ignore or reject letters in bulk without affected motorists having any realistic recourse. That's not good enough for residents like Emily Miller, who told us that being able to present her case in person was essential. The Sunday school teacher was found not guilty at an administrative DMV hearing in June of driving with an open container of coffee. She was so thrilled with her victory that she decided to fight a parking ticket issued to her in a location where the parking signs were contradictory.
Motorists in many cities besides DC complain about unfair citations. So far, Baltimore, Maryland's Inspector General has uncovered 10,000 bogus parking tickets issued to innocent motorists. In Boston and other cities in Massachusetts, motorists cannot challenge a $100 parking ticket in court without first paying a $275 court fee. If found innocent, the motorist does not receive a refund of the $275.
Source: FY08 Performance Plan (Washington DC Department of Motor Vehicles, 11/9/2007)
Monday, November 12, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Wichita Eagle, The (KS)
ISN'T IT TIME TO TAX CHURCHES?
With the demand for public services increasing, it is time to re-evaluate the current tax-exempt status for religious properties. In Kansas, 14.1 percent of the total appraised property value is exempt from property taxes simply because it is owned by a religious group or organization. This is $2.86 billion of untaxed property, according to a 2006 report titled "Erosion of the Kansas Property Tax Base," by Glenn W. Fisher.
Properties used by religious, educational benevolent organizations are exempted in the belief that they provide services to the community that reduce the burden on government. This exemption began with legislation dating from the 1860s. The churches in 1860 were much different from the churches today. Over the years, many churches have morphed into businesses. They have cash flow. They budget a portion of this cash flow to marketing. They have a payroll. They invest in training for their employees. They maintain faciliti es. They usually contribute to and are members of larger franchises. On top of this, our church community has become very politically active in recent years. Focus on the Family, American Family Radio and the Discovery Institute are but a few of the wealthy political organizations that are backed, at least in part, with church funds and are overtly engaged in political campaigning. It is not unusual for churches to offer voter guidelin es and to aid in fundraising for political candidates. Remember Phill Kline and his memo concerning church fundraisers? How about Ralph Reed?
It would appear that a greater percentage of church funds is being spent on salaries, facilities and activism than is being spent on community aid and works of charity. For these reasons and more, it is time to tax all religious property on an equal basis with private property. Let's put an end to public subsidies for religion.
Monday, November 05, 2007
They also have a link to a place to buy a cell phone jammer.
Anywhoo: Cell-Phone Jammers: Awesome!
Friday, November 02, 2007
You have to have a little "me" time once in awhile. So this Friday, take a few more minutes on that smoke break. Take your time coming back from lunch, or don't come back at all if you can get away with it. Surf the Internets when you are supposed to be working. And while you do your actual work, don't give a 100%. Give 40%. You and I both know you're not getting paid as much as you're worth. Remember, you are the "me" in "team".
That's my motivational team-building snippit for Friday. Use it in staff meetings or at any other place where people are all like, "rah rah go team."
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
So, in conclusion, I hate "Bee Movie" and I hate Jerry Seinfeld for spawning spam.
I have ranted enough. Peace!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Anywhoo, I am awesome. Oh yeah, they had beer and food at the end. That was cool.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
A Letcher County woman suffered a horrible injury early Thursday when her arm was severed in a car crash on the Mountain Parkway in Clark County.
Jacqueline Dotson and her six-year-old daughter had to be cut out of their vehicle after the accident in which Dotson veered into the median and over-corrected, rolling her truck over the guardrail and landing upside down after flipping several times.
Several people stopped to help, and it turns out, the good samaritans may very well have saved Dotson's life. Sheila Vice, a nurse's aide, and an off-duty EMT from another county stopped to help, and put a tourniquet on Dotson's arm to stop the bleeding. Her arm was found near the accident still clutching a cell phone.
"Basically we stayed there and talked to them until the EMT drivers got there," said Vice.
Rescuers used the jaws of life to get the Dotson and her daughter out of the truck. Both were flown to hospitals, and Dotson is listed in serious condition at UK Hospital. Her daughter is not in the hospital, and sheriff's officials say they believe she's going to be fine.
Both were wearing seat belts.
thanks barry! link
Probably the most popular video streaming site around has been busted by UK authorities.It's a sad day for streaming video fans everywhere as news has been reported that TVLinks has been shut down and the owner, a 26yo man from Chelteham in the UK, was arrested.
Though not hosting an actual content himself, and rather merely providing links to where particular titles can be found, he was nonetheless apparently charged for the "facilitation" of copyright infringement.
"Sites such as TV Links contribute to and profit from copyright infringement by identifying, posting, organizing, and indexing links to infringing content found on the internet that users can then view on demand by visiting these illegal sites," said a spokesman for Federation Against Copyright Theft (FACT) today.
What makes the charges so odd is that he was again, only providing LINKS to pirated content, and never actually hosted anything. Can linking really be considered "facilitation?" If I link to TVLinks am I then a co-conspirator?
Sunday, October 21, 2007
|#38 The Roald Dahl Omnibus||Roald Dahl||1993||* * * *||This is a book of short stories by the author of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, and James and the Giant Peach. But these aren't children's stories. These are stories about sex, poachers, cannibalism, murder, and a host of other adults hating or loving each other too much. The stories each have unique twists and surprise endings. These stories are entertaining and written in a way I've never seen before. ~ October 21, 2007|
See all my reviews at http://www.danmanning.com/37.php
Anywhoo, I'm just chillin' out today.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Agnorant: Someone who is simultaneously ignorant and arrogant.
Bluetool: Someone who wears their bluetooth thing in their ear all the time.
Multislacking: Slacking at multiple things at the same time.
Leave Britney Alone: If someone is bothering you, just interrupt them and say "Leave Britney Alone" and hopefully, they'll get the hint.
I dunno, I thought those were funny.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
|#37 Of Human Bondage||William Somerset Maugham||1915||* * * * *||Best book about a club-footed person ever! Seriously, this masterpiece captures the scope of human emotion, delves into the metaphysics while reading like a well-written tortured love story; love the meaning of life, the reason for art, the play of class and religion, the meaning of freedom. I have never read a book this boundless in its ability to move and inform the reader. This is a magnificent literary symphony of thought and emotion.|
~ ~ ~
We were civilians.
The war didn't rage really; there was just a steady flow of dead and dismembered soldiers whose names were on the Internet and on the news programs. The soldiers were black, Hispanic, white and Asian. Some of us paid attention and some of us didn't and some of us were devastated. If you didn't know any of the unlucky ones, then they were only statistics.
These statistics were given on the network news between the school shooting and the celebrity scandal stories. The numbers were tallied with somber patriotic video graphics. Maybe it was an American flag waving slowly, or maybe a combat boot-rifle-helmet combo. These graphics looked great on our high-def wide screen televisions. "What a shame," we said, shaking our heads. When the story about the latest breakthrough in the treatment of osteoporosis came on, we changed the channel to VH1 or ESPN and forgot all about the war.
We were civilians.
Some of us didn't think about the war at all.
With no draft, it was a voluntary thing to go to
If you could get a job and make decent money, there was no reason to go. If you came from a wealthy family, it didn't make any sense to go. And with the advent of yellow-ribbon car magnets, we had a convenient way to ease our conscience and support the troops at the same time.
That was our attitude anyway, and we went on with our lives as if nothing was wrong. Those were fascinating times, and we couldn't fit it into our busy schedules to enlist. We played newer and better video games, we surfed more rich and interactive websites on ever shinier and faster computers. If we didn't like the war, we could always say so on our blogs. We carried fancier, more feature-rich phones. We drove more technologically advanced cars, and while those cars were all built overseas, we didn't care because they had Ipod docks to give us music, GPS to give us direction, and DVD players to give us a break from the kids. Some of those vehicles got decent gas mileage, but most of them did not.
We were civilians.
Some of us drove massive pickup trucks and SUVs with shiny grills, and those things take gas. What a sense of awesome power these behemoths bestowed upon us as we moved between desk and cubicle and home and hearth. These machines carried us back and forth to work so we could pay our crazy mortgages.
We were civilians.
We didn't have time to go fight a war. Reality shows were coming up with more interesting twists. Starlets and singers were in and out of rehab. These were interesting times.
There were new drugs to keep us thin and happy. They put us to sleep at night. They calmed our restless legs and gave us everlasting erections. We had a pill for everything, so we were happy.
We were civilians.
Were other people making sacrifices? Sure, but we were willing to pay that price. Now we had a military base over the precious, sweet, life-giving
With no draft, the rest of us could take it easy. There were sporting events to watch and alcohol to drink. We were civilians, and we did what our President asked us to do.
We went shopping.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Read it and weep asswipes! If you cut your hair, you aren't a Christian. Ha ha ha ha ha. The bible says it, so let it be done you heathen bastards! Start growing it out boys and girls, or you will burn in the everlasting fires of Hell. Ha!
DETROIT -- The American Civil Liberties Union of Michigan won a religious liberty lawsuit Wednesday on behalf of a ninth-grader who refused to obey a school’s dress code that required boys to maintain “closely cropped” hairstyles.
Judge Kathleen Macdonald at the Wayne County Circuit Court ruled on Wednesday that Claudius Benson cannot be expelled and will return to the public charter school, Old Redford Academy in Detroit.
Benson, 14, was enrolled in Old Redford Academy for three days when he was suspended on grounds that he was not in compliance with the hair provisions of the school’s dress code.
Benson’s mother said she strictly abides by various Old Testament provisions, including a passage in the book of Leviticus that forbids the cutting of hair: “Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of your beard,” Leviticus 19:27
Friday, October 05, 2007
I see you hurry in trucks and cars
And wonder who you are.
You're on the phone,
You drive alone,
Annoyed at the red lights.
I see you tailgate at breakneck speed
In pickup trucks that have never seen a farm.
I see your careworn sunglassed faces
And sagging flesh gone fat.
You sit on your ass
And imagine the sass
You will give your Corporate Masters
If only you could hit the Powerball.
Your Credit Cards and Mortgages
Move you back and forth along the road;
Day after day to Keep Up, burning your
Dearly bought gasoline.
At Christmas you
Empty your checkbooks for crappy plastic
Toys made by smirking Chinese children armed with
Lead Paint in sweatshops.
Your bumper sticker says you voted
I see your Jesus Fish when you cut me off.
It's a Jeep Thing, who gives a rat's ass?
Your votes are meaningless. Your cars are foreign.
Just shut up and pay your Taxes.
Perhaps next year you will still have your job,
Or maybe not, I don't really care, just get
Out Of My Lane
If you're going to drive so friggin' Slow.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Check out this awesome Nintendo themed scarf. She only made one, otherwise, it would make a great gift.
Found at http://www.boingboing.net/2007/09/30/mario-villains-scarf.html
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
"Tennis ball, $2.50 for can of three
The MacGyver remedy. Or, as I like to call it, fetching with Pavlov's dog. Put a tennis ball in a sock, and then safety pin the sock to the middle of the back of a T-shirt. When you sleep in this T-shirt, it's painful to sleep on your back, so you turn on your side, where you're less likely to snore. If you sleep with the sock enough, your sleep self will supposedly associate sleeping on your back with pain, and you won't need the T-shirt anymore.
I'm not used to sleeping with a shirt on, so this—not to mention the heavy sock tugging at the back—took some getting used to. Also, it is surprisingly painful to have a Wilson jut into your back. But the remedy worked immediately. The morning after the first night, Elizabeth reported no snoring. I felt great, too. The second night, my deceitful sleep self did manage to outmaneuver the sock, swinging the tennis ball between my arm and side, allowing me to sleep on my back and snore. But the next day I adjusted the sock so that it was tighter against the shirt and could not be stretched out. For the rest of the trial, there was no snoring.
By the fifth night, I was attached to the ensemble. There was something ritualistic about putting the shirt on every night, and the thought of moving on to test another remedy made me sad. Elizabeth loved it, too. Improbably, she even found the get-up cute, which solidified this remedy's place as the clear winner."
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
So sleep well America, Big Brother is watching over you.
War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Man dies after 3-day gaming binge
BEIJING, China -- A man in southern China appears to have died of exhaustion after a three-day Internet gaming binge, state media said Monday.
The 30-year-old man fainted at a cyber cafe in the city of Guangzhou Saturday afternoon after he had been playing games online for three days, the Beijing News reported.
Paramedics tried to revive him but failed and he was declared dead at the cafe, it said. The paper said that he may have died from exhaustion brought on by too many hours on the Internet.
The report did not say what the man, whose name was not given, was playing.
The report said that about 100 other Web surfers "left the cafe in fear after witnessing the man's death."
China has 140 million Internet users, second only to the U.S.. It is one of the world's biggest markets for online games, with tens of millions of players, many of whom hunker down for hours in front of PCs in public Internet cafes.
Several cities have clinics to treat what psychiatrists have dubbed "Internet addiction" in users, many of them children and teenagers, who play online games or surf the Web for days at a time.
Friday, September 14, 2007
|#35 When Will Jesus Bring The Porkchops?||George Carlin||2004||* * *||This book is both very good and very bad. The entire thing is just little sections of thoughts and ideas. He has parts that are fiction, and these parts are damn near unreadable. But his observations about society and language are fantastic. His non-fiction is hilarious. His fiction is atrocious. The nice thing is, you can spot the fiction and non-fiction pretty quick, so you end up skipping the horrible fake character sketches and sketch comedy scripts and focus on his take on euphemisms and observations. Well worth the half-read. ~ September 08, 2007|
|#36 The Communist Manifesto||Karl Marx and Frederick Engels||1848||* * *||The first part was great, but the last part had some crazy ideas about women. Plus, once the revolution is over, somebody's going to take the place of the bourgeoisie aren't they? ~ September 12, 2007|
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Read all my awesome book reviews by following this awesome link.
Friday, September 07, 2007
There is a lot of preparation involved with killing an angel: First, they forge crossbow bolts from the iron collected from the wrecks of cars where teenagers have died in late-night, country-road accidents fueled by alcohol and wide-eyed innocence. Then they dip those crossbow bolts in the tears of children kept in abusive after-school child-care facilities.
After that, sexually abused adult alter-boys with questionable hygiene climb peaks in the Andes Mountains and wait. The angels, unaware that they are in danger, often fly around mountain passes playing their harps, because they are bored out of their minds from an eternity of problem-free existence, and no cable television.
Finally, the alter boys shoot the angles with their crossbows. When the angels fall to the ground, their heads are shaved and the hair is taken to the angel hair pasta factory and turned into angel hair pasta.
That’s why I will never eat angel hair pasta.
If you registered for the national "do not call" list, it expires in 5 years.
But don't worry, you can go to https://www.donotcall.gov and register again.
The website, being a government website, doesn't have the word RENEW anywhere, because that would be way too easy.
There is a VERIFY button, and a REGISTER button, but of course, no RENEW button anywhere.
I used the VERIFY button to see that my number would drop off the list in June of '08.
I just REGISTERED, and now it doesn't drop off until 2012.
That is my public service announcement for this week. May each and every one of you have a somewhat satisfying day.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
You can read all about the awesomeness of my reading at: dan's book reviews.
Other than that, I’ve been fixing computers and setting up networks. And I’ve been running and or jogging. Lots and lots of running: for me anyway. I’m running 4 miles three times a week. Yes, that’s it, I’m bragging, and I’m not ashamed to admit it!
You can see the awesomeness of my running at: workoutdump.com
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Today I did yard work, yard work, and yard work. I weeded, thatched, mowed fertilized, and planted mums. Yes, that’s right. I planted mums. That doesn’t make me gay.
I also ran 4 miles.
And I read about two hundred pages of the fifth Harry Potter book.
Monday, August 20, 2007
That is all.
Monday, August 13, 2007
After that, a new Vista laptop with docking station. I hate docking stations. A docking station on a laptop is like an airplane drink-cart duct-taped to an Olympic sprinter. It’s a big, stupid Steven-Hawking-Wheelchair on a ballet dancer. They are stupid, I hate them, and that’s all there is to it. But I will gladly set them up for money.
And then we enjoyed the Harry Potter movie marathon. We got the last two DVDs in today, and we watched them both, back to back. Those movies are LOOOOONG.
Oh yeah, and Karl Rove quit today. That fat bastard.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
I went to my writer’s group, but only one other person showed up. We talked about nothing for fifteen minutes and then I went across the street and got another iPod. I’ll try not to wash this one this time.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
I figured out some new running routs with the gmaps pedometer (thanks bri!) and I’m going to run somewhere beside around the block tomorrow morning.
My toe really hurts.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Sunday, August 05, 2007
I’ve been plotting my book out, mulling it over and planning before I set one word down in the first draft. Planning. What a concept huh?
I’m running again, and I’m losing some weight. My gut has no chance against my awesomeness now.
I bought the movie 300, the violence is a work of pure art.
Talked to Barry on the phone, cleaned the toilet, reformatted a couple of machines, cleaned the pool, put up a tire swing, cut my toenails, drank some tea, read a book, read another book, watched television, ate a grapefruit, went to some garage sales, stopped smoking, etcetera and so forth.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
I’m plotting out a new bestselling novel. I’ve found a way to plot it all out first so it doesn’t go to shit in the first couple of chapters.
I’ve slept on my neck wrong for two days in a row, and it’s pissing me off, because it is like having a hangover, but I haven’t had any beer. What a rip!
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Savannah and I saw the latest Harry Potter movie. It was pretty dark and action packed. It was pretty good.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
Even if Keira Knightley, and a bunch of other equally hot girls formed a soccer league and played in bikinis, I’d probably only watch a couple of times. . . no wait, I might tune in to that program more than once, but that’s about the only way I’d watch soccer. And then only if at the end, they mud-wrestled.
Because soccer is boring. I know that we Americans should join in the international sport, so that a global sense of fellowship and some kind of common spirit would traverse the globe, eventually resulting in international peace and goodwill.
But really, the only time soccer is interesting is when there is a big drunken riot, and then only when the good parts of the riots are condensed into a four minute montage on one of those “Shocking Video” shows you see on the spike channel.
And oh yeah, when that one dude head-butted that other dude. That was cool.
So, I know the LA Whatchamacallits are banking on Beckham drawing a crowd to American soccer. I understand that he’s the Michael Jordan of soccer and all that, but the coolest thing about him, to me at least, is that he’s tagging Posh Spice. That means he’s cool. That fact that he’s good at soccer? Meh, whatever.
So good luck American Soccer people. When Beckham shows up on “The Surreal Life” with a pot-belly and a drinking problem with Lance Armstrong and Maria Sharapova, then we’ll know he’s really made it.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Donnie Iris’s “Ah Leah” is a great friggin’ song. The vocals are awesome. The simple base line and sonic wave of sound, especially in a good set of earphones, rocks. The guitar solo, probably sixteen notes long, is simple, yet it would peel the paint off the wall if cranked up enough.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Sunday, July 01, 2007
THIS BOOK HAS NOT BEEN CONDENSED, ITS BULK IS LESS BECAUSE GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS PROHIBIT USE OF HEAVIER PAPER.
My fascination with everything Paris Hilton is finally wearing off. For awhile there, I had to know what she was doing every minute of every day, and I had no shortage of "news" outlets that were more than willing to give me everything I wanted. Actually, I'm being sarcastic. Sort of. London is getting attacked by terrorists. I’m already sick of all the presidential candidates on both sides.
I’m watering my lawn. I’m going to have a rum-and-club-soda-with-lime in a few minutes. I’m reading The Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham. I looked this edition up on the Internets, and somebody’s selling one for $350.00 bucks. This book has the following stamped on the backside of the title page:
THIS BOOK HAS NOT BEEN CONDENSED, ITS BULK IS LESS BECAUSE GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS PROHIBIT USE OF HEAVIER PAPER.
I think they must have been rationing paper or something for the war? It came out in 1944.
Anywhoo, Deb and the girls are visiting her mom today, so I got the place to myself. I’m going to have a drink, a smoke, and a sit on the porch, and I’m going to read.
I’ve been trying to catch my secret crush Maria Sharapova at the Wimbledon, but I keep missing it. I keep catching the guys playing tennis, and who wants to watch that crap? That's almost as pointless as watching men's beach volleyball. Makes no sense whatsoever.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
A book about a pedophile obsessed with fucking twelve-year-old girls. I got half-way through. The first half was about him trying to get the girl, actually marrying Lolita's mother in order to get near the girl. That part was okay. But once he got the girl, well, it got boring after that. No, there weren't any sex scenes, but it was depressing enough as it is. While it was well written, the last half really sucked ass as it becomes a dismal tour of American tourist traps and motels.
see more reviews at http://www.danmanning.com/37.php
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Yoko breaks silence to reveal Lennon's last words
By Andrew Johnson
Published: 10 June 2007
For 40 years Yoko Ono has kept a silent dignity in the face of global vilification meted out by legions of Beatles fans.
But today, in an emotional interview, she reveals the last words her husband John Lennon uttered moments before he was gunned down on a New York street in 1980 by Mark Chapman.
"I said 'shall we go and have dinner before we go home?' and John said 'No, let's go home because I want to see Sean before he goes to sleep'," Ono, 73, told Kirsty Young on 'Desert Island Discs'.
Young then asked Ono if Lennon had said anything after he was shot, to which she replied in almost a whisper: "No."
Ono, a conceptual artist, admitted that she would never be more than "the wife of an ex-Beatle".
Choosing Edith Piaf's "Je Ne Regrette Rien" as one of her discs, she added: "I regret nothing, too."
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Otherwise, I have nothing to report.
Oh, did you see this?
Friday, June 01, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
So suck up that gas, and happy driving!
Today I got paid to set up a Nintendo Wii. :)
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Finally, after forty minutes, NIS failed to uninstall and I had to download the “Norton Removal Tool.” From Norton’s site. It really says something when software is so bloated that the software’s website has to offer a special tool to perform an exorcism in order to rid a machine of the very software they spewed in the first place.
After that, another half-hour removing Norton System Works, another work of pure genius.
When everything was done, the machine running again and I had endured 2 hours of mind-numbing interrogation.
I dropped off a PC to a nice couple with a pit-bull. They said it wasn’t a pit bull, but I think it was.
Otherwise, I worked on my short story, which is finally coming together, what with a satanic pregnancy, a talking wall mural, and a reclusive artist with an effeminate man-servant.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
|A People's History of The United States||Howard Zinn||2003||* * * * *||Probably the most eye-opening book I've every read. Forget the bullshit history they taught you in school. This is the real deal. You wouldn't believe some of the shit we've pulled. Read this book only if you want the wool away from your eyes. ~ May 23, 2007|
read all my book reviews at my book review page.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Savannah's class went first at the band concert, and I enjoyed that because she was up there, and she sounded great. Then the other class performed, and usually, when my child isn't up on stage, it is really boring, but they played THE THEME FROM STAR WARS and that made it somewhat bearable.
Monday, May 21, 2007
And I suppose it has to be this way, because we are simply primates. I saw a show on television once where one band of chimpanzees raided another band that was encroaching on their turf. They just bum-rushed the other group and the other group scrambled, but one baby chimp was too slow and the aggressors ate that baby chimp. And we all know how cute baby chimps are. . . It was a show of force to grab territory.
We're like, one chromosome away from being chimps.
And that’s how we are. So everything we do makes sense. And every stupid conflict you see on television makes sense. We’re a bunch of chimps that will stop at nothing to advance our group and crush the other group, no matter what.
And on that pleasant note, I wish you all a good night.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Tuesday's league of golf was disappointingly dampened by rain. My golf was marred by my own lack of performance, which was written almost entirely in the passive tense. Mistakes were made. The resultant chill from damp clothes gave me that "not so fresh" feeling and I was deeply saddened.
My recent failure to correct a Gateway PC turned into what can only be described as an ongoing investigation, about which I would rather not comment.
Overall this week has been routine.
My daughter's birthday, with her annual allotment of non-political gifts was a bright spot. The birthday festivities, coming on the heels of Mother's Day, reminded me of my commitment to family values, and the sanctity of life, as long as that sanctity does and/or does not infringe on a woman's constitutional right to choose or un-choose, despite my own personal feelings on the matter.
I am looking forward to answering all of your questions via email, and I am cautiously optimistic about the next looming crisis that we will undoubtedly face in the coming weeks, months, and/or years. Working together in a bipartisan fashion, I believe we will meet these challenges, probably in the only way we know how, with overwhelming air superiority.
And to those of you out there who question my resolve; I leave you with this final thought: I will continue to make blog posts, despite the grinding existential banality I am faced with. I will continue to mock my fellow man, while glossing over my own shortcomings. I will ignore my own faults and simultaneously point out those same imperfections in others. And while my uninteresting lameness may initially seem like a weakness, while my generic ordinary condition may scream out for my resignation as an aging loser with a blog, I will not be deterred.
And while the stale unresponsiveness of my blog may compel others to declare it dead, and to argue that it is time to pull its feeding tube, I am not ready to declare it dead; for I still have hope. I still believe interesting things can and will happen, and when they do, I believe I will write those things down in the form of proud, freedom-loving words. And with vigilance, I will be proud to cut and paste those words here, and hopefully, you will waste at least one minute of your day reading those same words, shake your head in solemn disappointment, and then close your browser wistfully, and wonder why you bothered in the first place. And I would like to echo that question now: Why bother?
In conclusion, I'd like to wish all of you a happy (and wholesome) Upcoming Weekend, and remind you to drink responsibly, drive carefully, but don't do those two activities at the same time because that would be not only illegal, but dangerous.
Thank you, good night, and may God bless these United States.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
I mowed the lawn yesterday. The moles are dead; the poison I bought at Lowes seems to work. I did a reformat; I picked it up yesterday and delivered it this morning.
I’ve been reading Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States and it is a real eye-opener. I suggest every single one of you read this book. There is a lot of history I didn’t know about.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
May 9, 2007Hey kids: Don't know who your congressman is? Simply Google this: "congressman for 12345" where 12345 is your zip code. Then find out what the f*ck is going on and write a letter. You'll get a form letter back, because YOU aren't a big-time lobbyist for an big corporate interest.
Congressman Vernon J. Ehlers
1714 Longworth House Office Building
Washington, DC 20515-2203
Subject: Habeas Corpus
The Military Commissions Act cancelled habeas corpus. (I know that’s an oversimplification, but I’m a simple taxpayer.)
Could you please talk to Congressman Jerrold Nadler and find out what he’s doing to restore habeas corpus and help him do it? It will make you look like one of the good guys.
Can’t the USA go through one crisis without shredding the Constitution? Please don’t sit back and let our rights be chipped away every time we’re faced with a difficult patch.
How about sending a real letter back instead of a form letter? This is kind of important.
. . . .