Tuesday, January 30, 2007
furry PC
Sunday, January 28, 2007
new site alert! workoutdump.com
Saturday, January 27, 2007
32 degrees feels like a friggin’ heat wave
This morning it was 32 degrees Fahrenheit and I went outside with no coat and barefooted and it was completely comfortable. That’s how cold it’s been lately. 32 degrees feels like a friggin’ heat wave.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Podcast #98. The most important podcast you will ever listen to.
In other news, the phone rang when I was on the crapper. It rang when I was in the shower. It was snowing out, now it's sunny.
I'm going downtown to fix all technological fambuneries.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
The Internets are (were) down.
But what if it never came up again? What if the Internet disappeared overnight, never to work again? I’d be out of a job. Lots of people would be out of work, wouldn’t they? I mean, how much would that screw the world up, if the Internet just stopped working? If the Tubes were permanently Filled?
My buddy called and I answered, “Yes, it’s down.” I didn’t even have to ask him why he was calling. We have the same ISP.
Today I hooked up one of those Motorola Q phones. I hooked up a DSL line that wasn’t connected yet, but I had to clean up the PC and put in some AV software that worked.
Then I replaced a CD player.
Well, as you can see, the Internets are back up.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
59 days to the vernal equinox
Last night I took the girls to the gymnastics place on Coit and they were there from 7 to 10. While they were gone I used my time wisely. I beat Halo II for the second time. I should have been writing. That’s another three hours I’ll never get back.
Yesterday morning I had to make two stops. One to replace a UPS at a pharmacy, the other to fix something I had broke the day before. Don’t take IE7 out if you don’t want to drive back north of Belding road on a Saturday when you’d rather be doing something else.
The unseasonable warmth earlier this month has left my seasonal depression twice as bad now that the temperature’s dropped and the snow is all over the place. I’m already counting down the 59 days to the vernal equinox (March 21, seven minutes after midnight) and I can’t wait to go out on the patio barefooted.
59 days to the vernal equinox
Last night I took the girls to the gymnastics place on Coit and they were there from 7 to 10. While they were gone I used my time wisely. I beat Halo II for the second time. I should have been writing. That’s another three hours I’ll never get back.
Yesterday morning I had to make two stops. One to replace a UPS at a pharmacy, the other to fix something I had broke the day before. Don’t take IE7 out if you don’t want to drive back north of Belding road on a Saturday when you’d rather be doing something else.
The unseasonable warmth earlier this month has left my seasonal depression twice as bad now that the temperature’s dropped and the snow is all over the place. I’m already counting down the 59 days to the vernal equinox (March 21, seven minutes after midnight) and I can’t wait to go out on the patio barefooted.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Mr. Deity.com
Friday, January 19, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
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Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun On Hold Music . . .
I had to make some calls to some customers who were late on payments. I hate making those calls. Once customer put me on hold, and what did I hear . . . ? “WHEN THE WORKING DAY IS DONE OH GIRLS, THEY WANT TO HAVE FU – UN, OH GIRLS THEY WANNA HAVE . . . THEY JUST WANNA, THE JUST WANNA . . . THEY JUST WANNA . . . GIRLS . . . “ You get the picture. So I had Cyndi Lauper’s 1983 smash hit stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a whopper of a vocal performance, but I don’t want that bouncing around in my head all friggin’ day. Pay your bills people!
Did I mention podcast #97 is available?
An open Letter to Movie Directors Everywhere
When I'm watching a movie, and there's a scene in a vehicle where they characters are just chatting about mundane day-to-day stuff, or even having dialog that moves the plot along, nine times out of ten I can say "car crash coming" and be right. You can just tell.
So movie directors, if you have to have a car crash, make sure to have some scenes in vehicles that DON'T have a car crash, so the viewers will get used to seeing the characters in cars, so when there IS a crash, it's like, "holy crap, didn't see that coming."
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Podcast #97: "Old Man at The Bank" is ready!
I proof-read and re-proof-read and re-re-proof-read my succulent short story
In my more mundane pursuits, I finished a reformat, configured email goodness, and scrumptified software irregularities at a tax preparation place.
I bought an airline sized bottle of Jack Daniels (a tiny bottle) and had a nice drink.
I proof-read and re-proof-read and re-re-proof-read my succulent short story and slipped it seductively into a thin sheath of pure, creamy white envelope.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Weekend Update, with your Weekend Update News Team . . .
Today I went to Brian’s bearing pizza. Had a couple of beers there and watched the Bears beat the Seahawks.
Tomorrow I have two stops scheduled.
Stay tuned to my PODCAST PAGE. On Feb. 7th, episode #100 will be available then!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Little Squid Head
But “Squid-Head” was just me warming up my writing chops for my newest bestseller, an epic work about a dystopian USA ruled by a uber-marketed totalitarian regime that uses clones for slave labor and entertainment, and one clone’s struggle to . . . uh, that’s all I got right now, but it reads better than I’m making it sound. I’ll write the pitch for it when I finish the story. I’m sure it will be made into a movie starring the children or grandchildren of some of today’s hottest Hollywood stars.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Howard City, GWB, and PacMan
My molar feels better and I am going to write a new bestseller tonight.
GWB spoke to me last night, and somehow I’m not convinced. That guy doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence. I don’t think he knows what he’s doing.
I’m going to play PacMan now on the Xbox.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Notes from the Nocturnal Realm:
So I woke up just now, and all I could remember was the last sentence of the dream, and it was so strange I had to jot it down. Here’s my little gem of wisdom from the nether-regions of my subconscious. Someone in the dream was talking to me, and this is what they said:
“And when you get tired of getting advice from a monkey at a funeral for $12.99 a pop, call me.”
What? What? Who’s funeral? What advice? Where’d the monkey come from? Who was telling me this at the end of the dream?
So there you go patient reader, a little sludge from my gray matter.
Have a nice day. I’m going to try.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Recruiting the Dead:
WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Army said Friday it would apologize to the families of about 275 officers killed or wounded in action who were mistakenly sent letters urging them to return to active duty.
The letters were sent a few days after Christmas to more than 5,100 Army officers who had recently left the service. Included were letters to about 75 officers killed in action and about 200 wounded in action.
"Army personnel officials are contacting those officers' families now to personally apologize for erroneously sending the letters," the Army said in a brief news release issued Friday night.
The Army did not say how or when the mistake was discovered. It said the database normally used for such correspondence with former officers had been "thoroughly reviewed" to remove the names of wounded or dead soldiers.
"But an earlier list was used inadvertently for the December mailings," the Army statement said, adding that the Army is apologizing to those officers and families affected and "regrets any confusion."
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Hi, My name is Dan, and I watch poker.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
sites i found in a newspaper article
popularitydialer.com <-- fake calls to yourself. Not sure why.
Weird Al interviewing Jessica Simpson <-- on YouTube.
Vicodin is Delicious!
I got my split molar pulled today. My dentist is great about giving the laughing gas and anesthetic and the gas. I love laughing gas. I swear to God I saw a vision of my old neighborhood.
I saw at least seven accidents. Witnessed one. Some guy pulled out in front of Meijer on Plainfield Blvd. and got spun around. Dumb ass. It’s like everybody forgot to drive. And me driving around high on Vicodin and not even coming close to an accident.
There was a long line at the post office because Gerald R. Ford kept the friggin PO closed yesterday because he was 93 years old and he died. There was a lady with drawn-on eyebrows and gray tennis-shoes in front of me. Up ahead, “Ethan” wouldn’t stay in line with his mother. That kid needed to be smacked. Another lady on her cell phone was talking to her bank. “Debit for two thousand dollars?” She said. Then she said there must have been some mistake. Someone in line smelled like pot. There were 4 workers at the Post Office windows, which is amazing, because usually at least two slackers are on “break.” Government workers. I swear to God.
I’m going to take some Vicodin now and play Xbox.
About Me
- dan
- I am the author of 5 books: Android Down, Firewood for Cannibals, The Cubicles of Madness, Robot Stories, and most recently, Various Meats and Cheeses. I live and write in Michigan. My website is at danmanning.com