Saturday, May 26, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
at least I wasn't water-boarded. . .
Today I got a call and spent over two hours extracting Norton Internet Security Evil from a PC. The entire time, the woman to whom the PC belonged asked me personal questions to which I gave one-word answers. (When I say personal questions, I mean questions like, “How old are your kids,” and “What are you and your family doing for Memorial Day weekend,” and “How long were you in the Military,” and “Did you grow up in Michigan.”) She was nosy, but she also handles the checks for the company, so I answered her questions, while we listened to her PC grind furiously, trying to void itself of Norton Internet Security, which had rendered the machine useless.
Finally, after forty minutes, NIS failed to uninstall and I had to download the “Norton Removal Tool.” From Norton’s site. It really says something when software is so bloated that the software’s website has to offer a special tool to perform an exorcism in order to rid a machine of the very software they spewed in the first place.
After that, another half-hour removing Norton System Works, another work of pure genius.
When everything was done, the machine running again and I had endured 2 hours of mind-numbing interrogation.
I dropped off a PC to a nice couple with a pit-bull. They said it wasn’t a pit bull, but I think it was.
Otherwise, I worked on my short story, which is finally coming together, what with a satanic pregnancy, a talking wall mural, and a reclusive artist with an effeminate man-servant.
Finally, after forty minutes, NIS failed to uninstall and I had to download the “Norton Removal Tool.” From Norton’s site. It really says something when software is so bloated that the software’s website has to offer a special tool to perform an exorcism in order to rid a machine of the very software they spewed in the first place.
After that, another half-hour removing Norton System Works, another work of pure genius.
When everything was done, the machine running again and I had endured 2 hours of mind-numbing interrogation.
I dropped off a PC to a nice couple with a pit-bull. They said it wasn’t a pit bull, but I think it was.
Otherwise, I worked on my short story, which is finally coming together, what with a satanic pregnancy, a talking wall mural, and a reclusive artist with an effeminate man-servant.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
book review
| A People's History of The United States | Howard Zinn | 2003 | * * * * * | Probably the most eye-opening book I've every read. Forget the bullshit history they taught you in school. This is the real deal. You wouldn't believe some of the shit we've pulled. Read this book only if you want the wool away from your eyes. ~ May 23, 2007 |
read all my book reviews at my book review page.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Generic Tuesday Blog Post.
fixed PC in Grand Haven. Walked to the end of pier. Went golfing with Deb in the afternoon. Actually, she watched and drove the cart, I golfed. Savannah had a band concert. Deb and I played cribbage. Sent out some post-cards.
Savannah's class went first at the band concert, and I enjoyed that because she was up there, and she sounded great. Then the other class performed, and usually, when my child isn't up on stage, it is really boring, but they played THE THEME FROM STAR WARS and that made it somewhat bearable.
Savannah's class went first at the band concert, and I enjoyed that because she was up there, and she sounded great. Then the other class performed, and usually, when my child isn't up on stage, it is really boring, but they played THE THEME FROM STAR WARS and that made it somewhat bearable.
Monday, May 21, 2007
baby chimps probably taste like chicken . . .
I’m finishing up A People’s History of The United States by Howard Zinn. If you haven’t read it yet, I suggest you do so right away. It doesn’t paint a rosy picture of American foreign policy and its treatment of the least among us. This country is a good country, but it isn’t a perfect country, and we’ve had our own self-interest in mind from start to finish. I don’t mind that. I just wish they wouldn’t sugar-coat it in the history books they have the kids read in school. I grew up thinking we were the end-all to beat-all people on earth; the greatest country civilization has ever produced. But we’re not. We’re a great country, but we have been cruel, and murderous, and treacherous, just like every other country. Our politicians are just as ruthless and hypocritical as the politicians in any other country.
And I suppose it has to be this way, because we are simply primates. I saw a show on television once where one band of chimpanzees raided another band that was encroaching on their turf. They just bum-rushed the other group and the other group scrambled, but one baby chimp was too slow and the aggressors ate that baby chimp. And we all know how cute baby chimps are. . . It was a show of force to grab territory.
We're like, one chromosome away from being chimps.
And that’s how we are. So everything we do makes sense. And every stupid conflict you see on television makes sense. We’re a bunch of chimps that will stop at nothing to advance our group and crush the other group, no matter what.
And on that pleasant note, I wish you all a good night.
And I suppose it has to be this way, because we are simply primates. I saw a show on television once where one band of chimpanzees raided another band that was encroaching on their turf. They just bum-rushed the other group and the other group scrambled, but one baby chimp was too slow and the aggressors ate that baby chimp. And we all know how cute baby chimps are. . . It was a show of force to grab territory.
We're like, one chromosome away from being chimps.
And that’s how we are. So everything we do makes sense. And every stupid conflict you see on television makes sense. We’re a bunch of chimps that will stop at nothing to advance our group and crush the other group, no matter what.
And on that pleasant note, I wish you all a good night.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
an exceedingly unsatisfactory level of “accomplishment feeling"
The last few days have been a hodge-podge of lackluster events and/or happenings that have barely been able to meet or slightly exceed expectations. While I have consistently met goals and benchmarks despite routine challenges, these last few days have left me somehow unfulfilled, with an exceedingly unsatisfactory level of “accomplishment feeling."
Tuesday's league of golf was disappointingly dampened by rain. My golf was marred by my own lack of performance, which was written almost entirely in the passive tense. Mistakes were made. The resultant chill from damp clothes gave me that "not so fresh" feeling and I was deeply saddened.
My recent failure to correct a Gateway PC turned into what can only be described as an ongoing investigation, about which I would rather not comment.
Overall this week has been routine.
My daughter's birthday, with her annual allotment of non-political gifts was a bright spot. The birthday festivities, coming on the heels of Mother's Day, reminded me of my commitment to family values, and the sanctity of life, as long as that sanctity does and/or does not infringe on a woman's constitutional right to choose or un-choose, despite my own personal feelings on the matter.
I am looking forward to answering all of your questions via email, and I am cautiously optimistic about the next looming crisis that we will undoubtedly face in the coming weeks, months, and/or years. Working together in a bipartisan fashion, I believe we will meet these challenges, probably in the only way we know how, with overwhelming air superiority.
And to those of you out there who question my resolve; I leave you with this final thought: I will continue to make blog posts, despite the grinding existential banality I am faced with. I will continue to mock my fellow man, while glossing over my own shortcomings. I will ignore my own faults and simultaneously point out those same imperfections in others. And while my uninteresting lameness may initially seem like a weakness, while my generic ordinary condition may scream out for my resignation as an aging loser with a blog, I will not be deterred.
And while the stale unresponsiveness of my blog may compel others to declare it dead, and to argue that it is time to pull its feeding tube, I am not ready to declare it dead; for I still have hope. I still believe interesting things can and will happen, and when they do, I believe I will write those things down in the form of proud, freedom-loving words. And with vigilance, I will be proud to cut and paste those words here, and hopefully, you will waste at least one minute of your day reading those same words, shake your head in solemn disappointment, and then close your browser wistfully, and wonder why you bothered in the first place. And I would like to echo that question now: Why bother?
In conclusion, I'd like to wish all of you a happy (and wholesome) Upcoming Weekend, and remind you to drink responsibly, drive carefully, but don't do those two activities at the same time because that would be not only illegal, but dangerous.
Thank you, good night, and may God bless these United States.
Tuesday's league of golf was disappointingly dampened by rain. My golf was marred by my own lack of performance, which was written almost entirely in the passive tense. Mistakes were made. The resultant chill from damp clothes gave me that "not so fresh" feeling and I was deeply saddened.
My recent failure to correct a Gateway PC turned into what can only be described as an ongoing investigation, about which I would rather not comment.
Overall this week has been routine.
My daughter's birthday, with her annual allotment of non-political gifts was a bright spot. The birthday festivities, coming on the heels of Mother's Day, reminded me of my commitment to family values, and the sanctity of life, as long as that sanctity does and/or does not infringe on a woman's constitutional right to choose or un-choose, despite my own personal feelings on the matter.
I am looking forward to answering all of your questions via email, and I am cautiously optimistic about the next looming crisis that we will undoubtedly face in the coming weeks, months, and/or years. Working together in a bipartisan fashion, I believe we will meet these challenges, probably in the only way we know how, with overwhelming air superiority.
And to those of you out there who question my resolve; I leave you with this final thought: I will continue to make blog posts, despite the grinding existential banality I am faced with. I will continue to mock my fellow man, while glossing over my own shortcomings. I will ignore my own faults and simultaneously point out those same imperfections in others. And while my uninteresting lameness may initially seem like a weakness, while my generic ordinary condition may scream out for my resignation as an aging loser with a blog, I will not be deterred.
And while the stale unresponsiveness of my blog may compel others to declare it dead, and to argue that it is time to pull its feeding tube, I am not ready to declare it dead; for I still have hope. I still believe interesting things can and will happen, and when they do, I believe I will write those things down in the form of proud, freedom-loving words. And with vigilance, I will be proud to cut and paste those words here, and hopefully, you will waste at least one minute of your day reading those same words, shake your head in solemn disappointment, and then close your browser wistfully, and wonder why you bothered in the first place. And I would like to echo that question now: Why bother?
In conclusion, I'd like to wish all of you a happy (and wholesome) Upcoming Weekend, and remind you to drink responsibly, drive carefully, but don't do those two activities at the same time because that would be not only illegal, but dangerous.
Thank you, good night, and may God bless these United States.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Sunday bla bla
We went to Meijer and got stuff to make breakfast in bed for Deb ; the girls picked out a necklace for Deb. Mother’s day is traditionally breakfast in bed, but since Deb worked last night, and she’s working tonight, she slept most of the day. She got up around four and we made her breakfast in bed. Her weekend to work usually doesn’t land on Mother’s Day, but there you have it.
I mowed the lawn yesterday. The moles are dead; the poison I bought at Lowes seems to work. I did a reformat; I picked it up yesterday and delivered it this morning.
I’ve been reading Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States and it is a real eye-opener. I suggest every single one of you read this book. There is a lot of history I didn’t know about.
I mowed the lawn yesterday. The moles are dead; the poison I bought at Lowes seems to work. I did a reformat; I picked it up yesterday and delivered it this morning.
I’ve been reading Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States and it is a real eye-opener. I suggest every single one of you read this book. There is a lot of history I didn’t know about.
Friday, May 11, 2007
wanna see something funny?
Nothing new to report today . . . however, I was watching rocketboom, and they featured the film "Naked Swim" from itsjerrytime.com It's a funny story and wicked-weird animation. Check it out. (server might be slow today cause it was on rocketboom)
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
the letter I sent to my congressman
This is what I wrote to my Congressman:
May 9, 2007Hey kids: Don't know who your congressman is? Simply Google this: "congressman for 12345" where 12345 is your zip code. Then find out what the f*ck is going on and write a letter. You'll get a form letter back, because YOU aren't a big-time lobbyist for an big corporate interest.
Congressman Vernon J. Ehlers
1714 Longworth House Office Building
Washington, DC 20515-2203
Subject: Habeas Corpus
The Military Commissions Act cancelled habeas corpus. (I know that’s an oversimplification, but I’m a simple taxpayer.)
Could you please talk to Congressman Jerrold Nadler and find out what he’s doing to restore habeas corpus and help him do it? It will make you look like one of the good guys.
Can’t the USA go through one crisis without shredding the Constitution? Please don’t sit back and let our rights be chipped away every time we’re faced with a difficult patch.
How about sending a real letter back instead of a form letter? This is kind of important.
Sincerely,
. . . .
wednesday bla bla
Yesterday I got a parking $10.00 parking ticket. It’s a long, boring story. I went into the bank barefooted and made a deposit. I golfed. Poorly. Today it took me FOUR trips to the Secretary of State office to get some paperwork done. I wasn’t happy. I had to re-do a client’s PC cause the hard-drive I put in there crashed a week later. Dammit. Otherwise, I am in a surly mood. I don’t have time to type at you right now.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Sunday, May 06, 2007
R.I.P. DanOfGrandR (2005-2007)
So I started playing World of Warcraft again. But only for about a week and a half this time. I told myself I’d play in moderation, but that shit never works. Today I sold all my level 60 warrior’s crap, donated the money to my guild, and signed off forever. And I deleted Danofgrandr off the face of the virtual planet. And I uninstalled the software. I swear, I never learn . . .
Black Rose and the Disciples of Funk
So. Tonight, Deb was at work, the girls were staying over at a friend's house, so I went to the Hideout Brewing Company. It was Ken's 2nd anniversary being open, and the band was Black Rose and the Disciples of Funk. They kick ass. They did classics, from Cream, Grateful Dead, and some original jams that sounded like Pink Floyd, except it was some original shit.
Anywhoo, if you get a chance to see them, see them.
Anywhoo, if you get a chance to see them, see them.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
wednesday bla bla
What a difference a couple of weeks make. I was worried about it being SLOW, and now I’m changing motherboards, hard-drives, operating systems, networks, cutting off Internet access, cleaning out computer junk, and being busy. I finally have an evening with no PCs on the bench, and I’m too tired to do anything.
Not complaining; work is work, and that’s a good thing. It looks like a giant robot threw up in my office, there are computer parts strewn everywhere. I have to do some cleaning soon.
I spent the weekend cutting firewood, and that's about all I did. It is stacked so nicely. Sometimes I just go out back and gaze at my ultimate firewood stacks.
Not complaining; work is work, and that’s a good thing. It looks like a giant robot threw up in my office, there are computer parts strewn everywhere. I have to do some cleaning soon.
I spent the weekend cutting firewood, and that's about all I did. It is stacked so nicely. Sometimes I just go out back and gaze at my ultimate firewood stacks.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
ten most common passwords
from PC magazine, (who got it from inTechnology.com)
ten most common passwords:
See yours in here? Might wanna change it.
ten most common passwords:
1. password
2. 123456
3. qwerty
4. abc123
5. letmein
6. monkey
7. myspace1
8. password1
9. blink182
10. (your first name)
See yours in here? Might wanna change it.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Thus went Tuesday.
I came home and Lo, for in the East there I beheld a sign: FREE FIREWOOD. I went forth, and did take a cart around the corner, where many cubits of cherry wood awaited me so that I might take rightful possession. Then with the cart did I take the wood to the backyard, where I stacked it in accordance with the Laws of Gravity. And Lo, my back did hurteth. And so did I use the Saw of Chains to reduce it, and I did stack it according to the laws of Stacking.
And I revealed unto my Wife that which I had lay hidden for a fortnight: The World of Warcraft installation CD, purchased for 2 American dollars. And Yea did she allow it to be Installed, on the grounds that it would perish within another fortnight, for it is the Software of Trials.
Verily, a message came from the Sky Tower, and another customer forsooth must needs me to fix the Accursed Norton, which forbade the new Vista to speak with the Network Server.
Thus went Tuesday.
Monday, April 23, 2007
The Shiny 3mm bullet that liberated Ernest Hemingway from Ernest Hemingway;
No calls today. Deb and I walked to the library and back. We took Ginger, who walked with us. I read books, wrote, tweaked my website, entered a 750 word story in a writing contest, and that’s about it. I’m reading McSweeney’s Enchanted Chamber of Astonishing Stories (2004, Vintage Books, New York) and one story contains this gem: "The Shiny 3mm bullet that liberated Ernest Hemingway from Ernest Hemingway;"
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Cho Seung-Hui, Rock Star . . .
Dear News Media,
Oh Media, I can't avoid you; I have an unhealthy urge to know what's going on. That's why I can't avoid noticing your absolute obsession with Cho Seung-Hui. He's on the TV news, news websites, and the papers. I suppose he'll grace the covers of TIME and NEWSWEEK. He's mugging into the camera, pointing his guns, making crazy speeches. I can't see how it is news. OK, we get it, he was a wacko.
How many copycats are out there thinking, "yeah, I could do that, I could be famous." How much has this wall-to-wall coverage of The Cho Show are you guys going to air? When does the DVD come out? When is the made for TV movie?
By giving Cho his moment in the sun, postmortem, you're just giving the next wacko more motivation to get famous. By declaring it, even on the day it happened the "Deadliest shooting in U.S. History," or "Deadliest shooting rampage in U.S. history," and "Deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history," you're setting a mark for the next crazy guy with a gun: "Can you break this record crazy people? The score to beat is 32!"
Report the news. I don't need to know Cho Seung-Hui's shoe size. By "glamorizing" this insane person, you're just egging on the next guy. Report that he left a goofy manifesto and some lame videos, but don't plaster his videos up everywhere for ratings. Don't worry, we'll sit through your damn commercials. . . .
Oh Media, I can't avoid you; I have an unhealthy urge to know what's going on. That's why I can't avoid noticing your absolute obsession with Cho Seung-Hui. He's on the TV news, news websites, and the papers. I suppose he'll grace the covers of TIME and NEWSWEEK. He's mugging into the camera, pointing his guns, making crazy speeches. I can't see how it is news. OK, we get it, he was a wacko.
How many copycats are out there thinking, "yeah, I could do that, I could be famous." How much has this wall-to-wall coverage of The Cho Show are you guys going to air? When does the DVD come out? When is the made for TV movie?
By giving Cho his moment in the sun, postmortem, you're just giving the next wacko more motivation to get famous. By declaring it, even on the day it happened the "Deadliest shooting in U.S. History," or "Deadliest shooting rampage in U.S. history," and "Deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history," you're setting a mark for the next crazy guy with a gun: "Can you break this record crazy people? The score to beat is 32!"
Report the news. I don't need to know Cho Seung-Hui's shoe size. By "glamorizing" this insane person, you're just egging on the next guy. Report that he left a goofy manifesto and some lame videos, but don't plaster his videos up everywhere for ratings. Don't worry, we'll sit through your damn commercials. . . .
Monday, April 16, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Sunday, Most Holy Day of Sloth . . .
Today I tamped down fresh mole tunnels with my bare feet. I took a lawn chair out to the driveway and sat in it. A strange, bright light was in the sky. I forget what it is called. Everything was warm. I read a book and soaked up the rays of this strange, unfamiliar ball of fire. I’ll call it, “the sun.”
I thought about taking a run, but didn’t. I watched 5 episodes of “Frasier.” I spoke to Barry on the phone. I spread fertilizer on my lawn. I spoke to the neighbor, Sharon briefly about how to kill moles.
I played tug-of-war with the dog. I read some more. I watched some more television. I played catch with my daughter.
I got a headache, and realized I had forgotten to drink coffee. I drank coffee.
I updated my blog.
I thought about taking a run, but didn’t. I watched 5 episodes of “Frasier.” I spoke to Barry on the phone. I spread fertilizer on my lawn. I spoke to the neighbor, Sharon briefly about how to kill moles.
I played tug-of-war with the dog. I read some more. I watched some more television. I played catch with my daughter.
I got a headache, and realized I had forgotten to drink coffee. I drank coffee.
I updated my blog.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Are mobile phones wiping out our bees? - Independent Online Edition > Wildlife
Are mobile phones wiping out our bees? - Independent Online Edition > Wildlife
[Scientists] . . . are putting forward the theory that radiation given off by mobile phones and other hi-tech gadgets is a possible answer to one of the more bizarre mysteries ever to happen in the natural world - the abrupt disappearance of the bees that pollinate crops. Late last week, some bee-keepers claimed that the phenomenon - which started in the US, then spread to continental Europe - was beginning to hit Britain as well.
The implications of the spread are alarming. Most of the world's crops depend on pollination by bees. Albert Einstein once said that if the bees disappeared, "man would have only four years of life left".
Thursday, April 12, 2007
who said the bible wasn't funny?
Ezekiel 23:20 says, "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." <------ Now that's some soul-savin' stuff right there!
The Vagaries of Human Existence.
#1: The Neighbors
Here’s an example: Let’s say you have a neighbor, let’s call him Bob. You might loan him a wrench, or watch football with him, or borrow a book, or marry his son/daughter. Whatever. You and Bob live next door to each other and you are friends.
Why is Bob your neighbor? What random set of circumstances caused Bob to live next door to you?
A realtor is involved in most home purchases. Some random realtor showed Bob a random set of houses that were available at the time, and he picked one. The same goes for you. You probably bought your house using a realtor. If you didn’t, just play along anyway. This is a hypothetical.
Had you (or Bob) picked a different realtor or a different house or a different time to move, Bob wouldn’t be Bob at all. He’d be someone else entirely.
Let’s say living next door to Bob results in you getting married. (You stole his wife, or you married his son or daughter, or you met someone at a cookout or party Bob throws one evening.) You get married and have kids. Your kids grow up and have kids. (This is all hypothetical, play along here folks)
The existence of your children and your grandchildren hinges on the lives and careers of two realtors, people who have probably been long forgotten.
What if you had bought from a different realtor? What if you had purchased a different home? What life choices did that realtor make to put him in your town at the time when your career and life put you in the position to buy a home?
Your entire life could hinge on when you called the realtor’s office. Let’s say at 9:06 AM Realtor #1 takes a bathroom break, and is away from his desk. You call at 9:06 and 30 seconds. Realtor #2 picks up your call, because Realtor #1 is in the bathroom, away from his desk. Normally Realtor #1 would have gotten this call, but not this time.
You chat with Realtor #2 and decide she’ll show you some available houses. She shows you a different set of houses, or maybe the same set of houses, only in a different order. Bob does not become your next-door neighbor. You never meet the spouse you would have had Realtor #1 simply skipped that second cup of coffee before coming to work.
Your entire life forks to a different future because a realtor you will never meet has an extra cup of coffee and has to go to the restroom to pee.
And this single detail is only rendered after your parents’ choices, your teachers’ influences, your education, your career path, your boss’s career path, traffic accidents, weather patterns, political events, social changes, stock market, and the economy have set everything up.
#2: Why “you” are even “you” in the first place.
And didn’t your parents and their parents end up creating YOU because of a set of random circumstances? How did they meet? Why did they meet? Ask them.
#3: What We Can and Can’t Influence
We are responsible for our actions, we are responsible for our choices, but we are powerless over the set of choices we have at any point in time.
We can, however, try to influence our set of choices in the future, by bettering ourselves and building our careers (or by slacking off). We are not powerless in that. But we are completely at the whim of chance regarding our past set of choices and circumstances.
You cannot choose your parents. You cannot choose your grandparents. You cannot choose the subset of humans you have to pick from when choosing a mate. You cannot choose the subset of humans you can pick as friends.
You can choose from the subset. You can’t choose the subset itself.
#4: Yeah, that would be fantastic, but . . .
It would be great if there was a god. It would be nice if we were here for a purpose. I wish there were some intrinsic meaning to our lives. It would be nice if we carried on after we die. It would even be nice if there were such a thing as “luck.” But there’s not. Get that through your head now, and things will make sense a lot quicker.
It would be nice if these things existed, but they don’t; it is delusional to think that these things exist. God, spirits, ghosts, Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and the Holy Spirit: All of these things are fantasies.
This is the world and everything in it: We are a bunch of primates riding on a speck of dust hurtling through the universe for no reason whatsoever.
Oh, and by the way, stop crapping on Atheists. You don’t choose not to believe in God any more that you choose not to believe in Superman. You just know it’s a load of bullshit.
#5: Religion: I believe in the Power of Vaginas
What is religion? What is belief? Let me ask you this: What is the difference between a religion and a cult? What if the Chinese instead of the Europeans had discovered North America and taken it from the Native Americans? Would Christianity be practices in the United States? A United States that doesn’t exist?
Why do you practice the faith you practice? Is it the same faith as your parents? I hate to break this to you believers, but the set of beliefs you hold is not a function of faith, it is a function of which vagina you came out of, and nothing more. Is it a coincidence that most Christians have Christian parents? I think not.
#6: Death: When you’re dead, that’s it.
One choice leads to another leads to another. And then you die.
Here’s what happens when you die: Nothing.
You stop functioning, your body starts to decompose, and hopefully, somebody puts you in the ground. That’s it.
The world keeps turning, but you’re no longer around to know it. People get up for work, they fight wars, make babies, whatever.
Your family and friends get together; they put you in the ground, cry, and get on with making their choices and living their lives. Until it’s their turn.
#7: It isn’t all doom and gloom . . .
If there’s meaning, you make it yourself. You have the warm sun, family, and friends. There are a lot of things to enjoy in this life. Be good to one another, stop fighting, listen to music, watch a movie, and read a good book once in awhile. Have a beer. Enjoy this life now, because, well, see #6.
www.danmanning.com
Here’s an example: Let’s say you have a neighbor, let’s call him Bob. You might loan him a wrench, or watch football with him, or borrow a book, or marry his son/daughter. Whatever. You and Bob live next door to each other and you are friends.
Why is Bob your neighbor? What random set of circumstances caused Bob to live next door to you?
A realtor is involved in most home purchases. Some random realtor showed Bob a random set of houses that were available at the time, and he picked one. The same goes for you. You probably bought your house using a realtor. If you didn’t, just play along anyway. This is a hypothetical.
Had you (or Bob) picked a different realtor or a different house or a different time to move, Bob wouldn’t be Bob at all. He’d be someone else entirely.
Let’s say living next door to Bob results in you getting married. (You stole his wife, or you married his son or daughter, or you met someone at a cookout or party Bob throws one evening.) You get married and have kids. Your kids grow up and have kids. (This is all hypothetical, play along here folks)
The existence of your children and your grandchildren hinges on the lives and careers of two realtors, people who have probably been long forgotten.
What if you had bought from a different realtor? What if you had purchased a different home? What life choices did that realtor make to put him in your town at the time when your career and life put you in the position to buy a home?
Your entire life could hinge on when you called the realtor’s office. Let’s say at 9:06 AM Realtor #1 takes a bathroom break, and is away from his desk. You call at 9:06 and 30 seconds. Realtor #2 picks up your call, because Realtor #1 is in the bathroom, away from his desk. Normally Realtor #1 would have gotten this call, but not this time.
You chat with Realtor #2 and decide she’ll show you some available houses. She shows you a different set of houses, or maybe the same set of houses, only in a different order. Bob does not become your next-door neighbor. You never meet the spouse you would have had Realtor #1 simply skipped that second cup of coffee before coming to work.
Your entire life forks to a different future because a realtor you will never meet has an extra cup of coffee and has to go to the restroom to pee.
And this single detail is only rendered after your parents’ choices, your teachers’ influences, your education, your career path, your boss’s career path, traffic accidents, weather patterns, political events, social changes, stock market, and the economy have set everything up.
#2: Why “you” are even “you” in the first place.
And didn’t your parents and their parents end up creating YOU because of a set of random circumstances? How did they meet? Why did they meet? Ask them.
“Oh, I was planning to stay home that night but so and so had a cold so I went . . .”
“I was in line at the DMV when I look over and see this beautiful girl . . .”
“He was going through a difficult divorce, and I just happen to . . .”
#3: What We Can and Can’t Influence
We are responsible for our actions, we are responsible for our choices, but we are powerless over the set of choices we have at any point in time.
We can, however, try to influence our set of choices in the future, by bettering ourselves and building our careers (or by slacking off). We are not powerless in that. But we are completely at the whim of chance regarding our past set of choices and circumstances.
You cannot choose your parents. You cannot choose your grandparents. You cannot choose the subset of humans you have to pick from when choosing a mate. You cannot choose the subset of humans you can pick as friends.
You can choose from the subset. You can’t choose the subset itself.
#4: Yeah, that would be fantastic, but . . .
It would be great if there was a god. It would be nice if we were here for a purpose. I wish there were some intrinsic meaning to our lives. It would be nice if we carried on after we die. It would even be nice if there were such a thing as “luck.” But there’s not. Get that through your head now, and things will make sense a lot quicker.
It would be nice if these things existed, but they don’t; it is delusional to think that these things exist. God, spirits, ghosts, Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and the Holy Spirit: All of these things are fantasies.
This is the world and everything in it: We are a bunch of primates riding on a speck of dust hurtling through the universe for no reason whatsoever.
Oh, and by the way, stop crapping on Atheists. You don’t choose not to believe in God any more that you choose not to believe in Superman. You just know it’s a load of bullshit.
#5: Religion: I believe in the Power of Vaginas
What is religion? What is belief? Let me ask you this: What is the difference between a religion and a cult? What if the Chinese instead of the Europeans had discovered North America and taken it from the Native Americans? Would Christianity be practices in the United States? A United States that doesn’t exist?
Why do you practice the faith you practice? Is it the same faith as your parents? I hate to break this to you believers, but the set of beliefs you hold is not a function of faith, it is a function of which vagina you came out of, and nothing more. Is it a coincidence that most Christians have Christian parents? I think not.
#6: Death: When you’re dead, that’s it.
One choice leads to another leads to another. And then you die.
Here’s what happens when you die: Nothing.
You stop functioning, your body starts to decompose, and hopefully, somebody puts you in the ground. That’s it.
The world keeps turning, but you’re no longer around to know it. People get up for work, they fight wars, make babies, whatever.
Your family and friends get together; they put you in the ground, cry, and get on with making their choices and living their lives. Until it’s their turn.
#7: It isn’t all doom and gloom . . .
If there’s meaning, you make it yourself. You have the warm sun, family, and friends. There are a lot of things to enjoy in this life. Be good to one another, stop fighting, listen to music, watch a movie, and read a good book once in awhile. Have a beer. Enjoy this life now, because, well, see #6.
www.danmanning.com
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
The Don Imus Controversy
Don Imus is in trouble for calling the Rutgers women's basketball team a bunch of "nappy-headed-hos". Okay. Imus is an idiot, we all get it. I love seeing this dude squirm, and I hope he gets fired.
But what boggles my mind is this: People listen to Don Imus? Who in the hell is tuning into this pickled crypt-keeper windbag anyway? I am amazed anyone heard him say anything about anybody. People still listen to this ancient mummified ass-clown?
It's beyond me how anyone found out he said anything. Oh well.
post looks better at www.danmanning.com
But what boggles my mind is this: People listen to Don Imus? Who in the hell is tuning into this pickled crypt-keeper windbag anyway? I am amazed anyone heard him say anything about anybody. People still listen to this ancient mummified ass-clown?
It's beyond me how anyone found out he said anything. Oh well.
post looks better at www.danmanning.com
Thursday, April 05, 2007
lunch
for lunch today, I ate a box of slim jim brand mild beef sticks. that's 15 "spicy smoked snacks."
Thursday, March 29, 2007
boots (1999-2007) they will be sorely missed.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
In Heaven . . .
In Heaven . . .
The cops are English, the cooks are French, the lovers are Italian, and the mechanics are German.
In Hell . . .
The police are French, the cooks are English, the mechanics are Italian, and the lovers are German.
The cops are English, the cooks are French, the lovers are Italian, and the mechanics are German.
In Hell . . .
The police are French, the cooks are English, the mechanics are Italian, and the lovers are German.
NPR Spring Membership Week.
SHUT UP! SHUT UP! STOP MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY! STOP ASKING ME FOR MONEY! STOP BEGGING ME! I have the number memorized already! 888-258-9866 I don't want to join up! NO! I don't care what Ryan Automotive will give if you get 15 new members! NO! I DON'T CARE! I'm not paying for radio! NO! SHUT UP AND PLAY "ALL THINGS CONSIDERED"!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
bla bla. this post is boring.
We went to Lowes and bought bird seed and one of those solar stick-in-the-ground lights. I planted some flowers. I walked around barefooted. I chipped a golf-ball around the yard. I had a homeade Oatmeal Stout a friend gave me.
The girls went to a friend's house and Deb and I had Nachoes and Coronas at Cheers. I moved the super-heavy railroad ties from the backyard. I traded some computer work so my neighbor would haul them all away.
My back hurt from moving the railroad ties. I finished copying music back to my laptop. The fan doesn't run all the time anymore.
Tomorrow, computer work.
bla bla. this post is boring.
The girls went to a friend's house and Deb and I had Nachoes and Coronas at Cheers. I moved the super-heavy railroad ties from the backyard. I traded some computer work so my neighbor would haul them all away.
My back hurt from moving the railroad ties. I finished copying music back to my laptop. The fan doesn't run all the time anymore.
Tomorrow, computer work.
bla bla. this post is boring.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Saturday, a new beginning . . .
I Spent the day reformatting my laptop. Why you ask? We bought a digital video camera, with a hard drive and all the bells and whistles. I installed the software to convert those videos into DVDs and such, and my friggin’ CPU fan went on high alert. It ran CONSTANTLY. I uninstalled the software, and behold, the friggin’ fan still ran CONSTANTLY. After a week of listening to the fan, I finally gave up and reformatted. All fixed, and my laptop is once a again, pure, virginal, and quick.
I got outside briefly, and I was barefooted. That’s always nice. Savannah had her last volleyball game.
Oh yeah, and if you haven't seen 300, go now. It was friggin' awesome.
I got outside briefly, and I was barefooted. That’s always nice. Savannah had her last volleyball game.
Oh yeah, and if you haven't seen 300, go now. It was friggin' awesome.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
kick-ass product alert
Hi everyone, it's me, danmanning. I'd like to tell you about this kick-ass stuff, Luigi's Real Italian Ice. I don't know if it's Italian, I don't know who Luigi is, I don't even know if it's "real", but I can tell you this: its delicious.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
the blog post I posted on Saturday discussing Friday
Yesterday I spent the morning deleting porn froma customer’s PC after recovering his files after the customer's daughter accidentally formatted the machine. Can’t very well transport porn back to the customer, even though he’s the one who put it there in the first place. If it ever came down to it, the customer might not appreciate it despite that little fact.
It was fifty degrees out Friday, that’s really warm compared to the last few months. Deb and I took a walk aroundthe block. It was sunny, and snow was melting like crazy. I told “Big Head Steve” that his days were numbered. “Big Head Steve” is a snowman we built last week.
I set up computer faxing for one of my better clients. He had no modem, the phone jack in his office for the fax line had no dial tone, but I set it up and tested it just the same.
At the Hideout, I talked to this dude who works for IBM. Ken played my Motorhead CD, a lady from OSHA was snooping around in a surprise visit, and I kept it down to two beers.
Me and the girls watched “Hellboy”. Meh, it was watchable I guess.
It was fifty degrees out Friday, that’s really warm compared to the last few months. Deb and I took a walk aroundthe block. It was sunny, and snow was melting like crazy. I told “Big Head Steve” that his days were numbered. “Big Head Steve” is a snowman we built last week.
I set up computer faxing for one of my better clients. He had no modem, the phone jack in his office for the fax line had no dial tone, but I set it up and tested it just the same.
At the Hideout, I talked to this dude who works for IBM. Ken played my Motorhead CD, a lady from OSHA was snooping around in a surprise visit, and I kept it down to two beers.
Me and the girls watched “Hellboy”. Meh, it was watchable I guess.
Friday, March 09, 2007
danmanning.com - and the meek shall inherit the earth
danmanning.com - and the meek shall inherit the earth the newest page at danmanning.com
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Friday, March 02, 2007
turkey leg soup, anna nichole still dead. snow.
Nothing doing today. Last night Alex beat me at cribbage. The dog might have a fractured leg, so Deb took her to the vet. How much is that going to cost?
I got no calls today. That’s two days in a row with no work, but I’ve been doing this long enough to not panic. Next week I’ll be slogging away at it again, and it’s pretty interesting work actually.
I made awesome turkey-leg soup. I played Xbox. I made postcards and sent out statements. I haven’t bathed and I see no reason to. It’s been snowing like crazy and I called the guy with the snowplow to come shovel the driveway. My back can’t take it anymore.
A bus fell off a bridge in Atlanta. Anna Nichole is still dead. CNN has been updating every movement of the now stinking body (I assume) of the late Anna Nichole. I hate her now more than ever. Please go away you latex bimbo!
Only 19 days until the vernal equinox.
I got no calls today. That’s two days in a row with no work, but I’ve been doing this long enough to not panic. Next week I’ll be slogging away at it again, and it’s pretty interesting work actually.
I made awesome turkey-leg soup. I played Xbox. I made postcards and sent out statements. I haven’t bathed and I see no reason to. It’s been snowing like crazy and I called the guy with the snowplow to come shovel the driveway. My back can’t take it anymore.
A bus fell off a bridge in Atlanta. Anna Nichole is still dead. CNN has been updating every movement of the now stinking body (I assume) of the late Anna Nichole. I hate her now more than ever. Please go away you latex bimbo!
Only 19 days until the vernal equinox.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
it's march.
It’s March, and this morning, around four(?) there was thunder and lightning and blowing frozen rain. In like a lion . . . check! I had to order HP install disks for a customer because they (HP) are too lazy to provide restore disks with their fancy-shmancy media center PCs.
We lost power for awhile. I got Alex from school for a Dental appointment. I went to McDonalds and ordered all the wrong stuff.
We lost power and when it came back on the Internets weren’t up. So I called Comcast (mistake) to see if there was an outage in our area. I ended up arguing with the jackass on the other end (not from India; an American jackass) who was trying to tell me that because I had a 169. . . IP address, it proved there wasn’t anything wrong with my connection. "Are you trying to tell me the network cards in both my machines went bad at the same time?" I asked. "Possibly" said the Jackass. I ended up arguing with him, but by the time I was off the phone, the service was back up. God Dammit I wanted to strangle the guy through the phone.
I dropped off a machine using Earthlink DSL. It’s the first such hookup I’ve encountered so far (Earthlink DSL that is) and I had to muddle through the setup. Turns out I had to call Earthlink and have them give me their DNS server IP addresses. Otherwise, it went smooth as usual. My second drop-off went smoother yet. They had comacast.
www.danmanning.com
We lost power for awhile. I got Alex from school for a Dental appointment. I went to McDonalds and ordered all the wrong stuff.
We lost power and when it came back on the Internets weren’t up. So I called Comcast (mistake) to see if there was an outage in our area. I ended up arguing with the jackass on the other end (not from India; an American jackass) who was trying to tell me that because I had a 169. . . IP address, it proved there wasn’t anything wrong with my connection. "Are you trying to tell me the network cards in both my machines went bad at the same time?" I asked. "Possibly" said the Jackass. I ended up arguing with him, but by the time I was off the phone, the service was back up. God Dammit I wanted to strangle the guy through the phone.
I dropped off a machine using Earthlink DSL. It’s the first such hookup I’ve encountered so far (Earthlink DSL that is) and I had to muddle through the setup. Turns out I had to call Earthlink and have them give me their DNS server IP addresses. Otherwise, it went smooth as usual. My second drop-off went smoother yet. They had comacast.
www.danmanning.com
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
My latest podcast (#103: friggin MLK day! ) is out.
My latest podcast (#103: friggin MLK day! ) is out. download and listen!
The file is here:
http://www.danmanning.com/sounds/DMDC-103.mp3
Podcast page is here:
http://www.danmanning.com/19.html
RSS link is here:
http://www.danmanning.com/24.xml
To stop receiving this obvious spam, reply and tell me to stop sending you spam.
Thanks
www.danmanning.com
The file is here:
http://www.danmanning.com
Podcast page is here:
http://www.danmanning.com/19
RSS link is here:
http://www.danmanning.com/24
To stop receiving this obvious spam, reply and tell me to stop sending you spam.
Thanks
www.danmanning.com
Monday, February 26, 2007
big head steve
I dropped a PC off and couldn’t get the damn scanner to recognize for about an hour and a half. I hate scanner software that doesn’t work.
So there I was, shoveling the driveway, breaking my back, when I see this pickup truck with front and rear plows pushing tons of snow around like it was nothing, and I waved him down and paid him fifteen bucks to do the driveway. I’m going to hire them for the season next year I think. It was awesome not having to shovel snow.
Today I did data recovery for one of my clients. I forgot my coat. I got three calls and scheduled them for later this week.
We watched “The Prestige” and it was pretty good. Trick ending.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
snow fort
cold sunday
Today is cold and snowy out. I made a fire, made some soup, took a nap, and we generally hung out at the house all day, cause what else is there to do? Savannah is reading one of the Harry Potter books, so she gets to sit in front of the fire.My soup is awesome, as usual.
I gave up on another book and started writing a story I hope will be funny.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Podcast 102 : age of banality
Podcast #102 is out. It's probably the best podcast I've ever done . . .
The file is here:
http://www.danmanning.com/sounds/DMDC-102.mp3
Podcast page is here:
http://www.danmanning.com/19.html
RSS link is here:
http://www.danmanning.com/24.xml
The file is here:
http://www.danmanning.com/sounds/DMDC-102.mp3
Podcast page is here:
http://www.danmanning.com/19.html
RSS link is here:
http://www.danmanning.com/24.xml
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
recent searches that led to my awesome website
recent searches that led to my awesome website, danmanning.com:
fat kid dancing
whip somebody's ass
lyrics to war pigs
fred meijer birthday
when we talk about war we are talking about peace
sledding hills grand rapids
march 4, 1794 amendment 11
pumkins pic
laptop is smelling
beatle discography
beatles album t-2047
solitaire play at work
good movie rental reviews
world's greatest bulls eye ball score
www.danmanning.com
the wagoneers
sharks laser beams
favorite cigar
side effects of lavitra
whip somebody's ass mp3
crafts. marc took 3 hours (h) to mow a lawn while angelina took 150 minutes
plug in fireplaces sold at meijer stores
britney spears climbing out of cars without wearing underpants
movie character became a zombie, battled a psychic, went to hell and woke up on a spaceship
time fixers tenacious
anahiem pepper recipies
pinewood derby camo paint patterns
when we talk about war we're talking about peace
ray whip somebody's ass
fat kid dancing
whip somebody's ass
lyrics to war pigs
fred meijer birthday
when we talk about war we are talking about peace
sledding hills grand rapids
march 4, 1794 amendment 11
pumkins pic
laptop is smelling
beatle discography
beatles album t-2047
solitaire play at work
good movie rental reviews
world's greatest bulls eye ball score
www.danmanning.com
the wagoneers
sharks laser beams
favorite cigar
side effects of lavitra
whip somebody's ass mp3
crafts. marc took 3 hours (h) to mow a lawn while angelina took 150 minutes
plug in fireplaces sold at meijer stores
britney spears climbing out of cars without wearing underpants
movie character became a zombie, battled a psychic, went to hell and woke up on a spaceship
time fixers tenacious
anahiem pepper recipies
pinewood derby camo paint patterns
when we talk about war we're talking about peace
ray whip somebody's ass
Monday, February 19, 2007
marathon don's run 3 so far . . .
Don's finished three marathons. Read about his world-record breaking trip here.
one of the geekiest paragraphs I have ever written
Today I ran. Not “Iran”, but “I ran.” as in, running. Tomorrow maybe Iran, unless the madman in the Whitehouse can be stopped. But that's a whole 'nuther post altogether.
But right now I want to talk about the awesome 1.2 miles I ran this afternoon. I did it because my golf-partner and programming demi-God Brian made this cool-ass website, workoutdump.com which has all the gizmos and whosits that makes you want to log something on there because otherwise you look like a friggin’ slacker. So I actually donned my running gear and braved the not-so-cold and ran twice around the .6 mile loop in my neighborhood. Okay, I ran around the block twice.
Anywhoo, otherwise, I had one call today and one reformat. I spent most of the day round the house. The kids are out of school for “winter break” whatever the hell that is. Teachers are friggin’ slackers, I swear to God the get three months off a year but the got to have a “winter break” too. It is uncalled for.
In computer geekatude, I was at the gpokr site getting my poker on when I talk to somebody who had a League of Awesomeness duckie avatar from The Show with ZeFrank. This is one of the geekiest paragraphs I have ever written.
But right now I want to talk about the awesome 1.2 miles I ran this afternoon. I did it because my golf-partner and programming demi-God Brian made this cool-ass website, workoutdump.com which has all the gizmos and whosits that makes you want to log something on there because otherwise you look like a friggin’ slacker. So I actually donned my running gear and braved the not-so-cold and ran twice around the .6 mile loop in my neighborhood. Okay, I ran around the block twice.
Anywhoo, otherwise, I had one call today and one reformat. I spent most of the day round the house. The kids are out of school for “winter break” whatever the hell that is. Teachers are friggin’ slackers, I swear to God the get three months off a year but the got to have a “winter break” too. It is uncalled for.
In computer geekatude, I was at the gpokr site getting my poker on when I talk to somebody who had a League of Awesomeness duckie avatar from The Show with ZeFrank. This is one of the geekiest paragraphs I have ever written.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Farewell Great Inventor!
iTWire - Zap: TV Remote co-inventor dies aged 93: "Robert Adler, co-inventor of the original TV zapper or remote control with Eugene Polley, has died age 93 in a Boise nursing home due to heart failure."
Thursday, February 15, 2007
i made totally awesome soup today
Today is Thursday and I made computers talk to each other at a law office. I made some TOTALLY AWESOME soup, with bacon, chicken, wine, potatoes, celery, mushrooms, and carrots. It’s still cold and snowy outside, but I’m in the hizzow.
I’ve had a rash of reformats and I’ve been burning them down and building them up like clockwork. I’m reading A People’s History by Zinn and a few Conan short stories.
I’m waiting for my new cribbage board to come UPS. I joined the Dawn and Drew Minion Army today.
I put out the Danmanning.com Podcast #101 today. The International uproar over #100 is finally dying down, although I am now banned from the People’s Republic of China.
My friend Don was in Amsterdam yesterday (wink wink, nudge nudge) you can follow his World-Record attempt at his blog.
In the news, North Korea finally signed an agreement to stop being dickheads, and the only person upset about it is Former UN Ambassador and total Dickhead John Bolton.
Anna Nichole Smith is still dead.
Well, that is all.
I’ve had a rash of reformats and I’ve been burning them down and building them up like clockwork. I’m reading A People’s History by Zinn and a few Conan short stories.
I’m waiting for my new cribbage board to come UPS. I joined the Dawn and Drew Minion Army today.
I put out the Danmanning.com Podcast #101 today. The International uproar over #100 is finally dying down, although I am now banned from the People’s Republic of China.
My friend Don was in Amsterdam yesterday (wink wink, nudge nudge) you can follow his World-Record attempt at his blog.
In the news, North Korea finally signed an agreement to stop being dickheads, and the only person upset about it is Former UN Ambassador and total Dickhead John Bolton.
Anna Nichole Smith is still dead.
Well, that is all.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
If you came here for an enterntaining read . . .
If you came here for an entertaining read, this ain't it. I got nothing funny or interesting to relate to you all. It's winter, it's cold out, and I have cabin fever.
I've been busy working, reading, playing cribbage, drinking beer and otherwise occupying myself as best I can during these fantastic winter months.
I wish I had something more interesting to say.
Don is traveling the world on his World Record quest.
If you're reading this on blogger, go to my webpage. That is all.
I've been busy working, reading, playing cribbage, drinking beer and otherwise occupying myself as best I can during these fantastic winter months.
I wish I had something more interesting to say.
Don is traveling the world on his World Record quest.
If you're reading this on blogger, go to my webpage. That is all.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
I want to put a stop to the speculation now . . .
There's been a lot of rumors going around about me lately, what with the death of Anna Nichole Smith. I'd like to set the record straight right now: I am not the father of Anna Nichole's baby. I've been in a happy marraige for over a decade now, and despite my good looks, charm and obvious manly virility, I am not the father of Smith's child. I would however, be willing to take the child in, as long as the money comes with the child.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Astronaut arrested on attempted kidnapping charges - CNN.com
Astronaut arrested on attempted kidnapping charges - CNN.com the details of what they found in her car . . . love will screw up even the brainiacs.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
superbowl sunday
Yesterday we had a snowstorm. We got a lot of snow; the whole region was pretty much shut down. It was a day to stay in. So I did.
Sunday, I woke up and there was even more snow. Shoveled the walk and made a fire and hunkered down. Around four I went to the Hideout and got a jug of delicious IPA and got ready for the game.
And what a game. I’m typing this during halftime, but the first half was one of the best halves I’ve ever seen.
Hester runs the OPENING KICKOFF back for a touchdown, and it was touchdowns, fumbles (back to back), missed extra points, and everything you could ask for in a first half.
Commercials? The best, IMHO, is the Grand Theft Auto knockoff commercial where the guy does nice stuff instead of violence. The Spicy/Cheesy Doritos commercial was good, and the “Connectile Dysfunction” commercial for Sprint was pretty good also. There was a GPS gadget commercial where it sounded like Iron Maiden was playing the music. There was a Voltran-type robot fighting a map-monster. Pretty cheesy-cool.
AND THE HALFTIME SHOW DIDN’T SUCK! Prince can still wail on the guitar. I can’t remember the last time the Superbowl halftime show didn’t’ suck.
So during halftime I checked the public school’s website, and tomorrow’s a snow day.
No Superbowl party this year because our wives are either working or pregnant, and the roads are worth shit because of the snow, so we’re hunkered down in our houses.
Grossman gets sacked two times in a row in the third.
Geeky weirdness: So I’m blogging this game with the laptop and text-messaging my buddy, and we both have DVRs, so we don’t know where the other guy is at in the game (because of pause or fast-forward with DVR), and you don’t want to spoil it, so you can’t actually talk about the game real-time because you might spill something that hasn’t happened on the other end . . . Jesus Christ I’m a geek.
Robert Goulet messes with your stuff! ha! Emerald Nuts!
The girl doesn’t recognize that old basketball player . . . what the hell is his name . . . oh yeah, that bald angry basketball player . . . used to play for the phoenix suns? Charles Barkley . . .
Commercials:
Kevin Federline’s only decent song was in this Nationwide commercial . . .
Axe murderer, chain-saw guy . . . Bud Light. . . ha ha.
Big Chicago crowd at the Superbowl. . . .
Grossman starts to suck . . .
Flomax! it makes you faint. I have no idea what it is supposed to do.
colts win!!
Sunday, I woke up and there was even more snow. Shoveled the walk and made a fire and hunkered down. Around four I went to the Hideout and got a jug of delicious IPA and got ready for the game.
And what a game. I’m typing this during halftime, but the first half was one of the best halves I’ve ever seen.
Hester runs the OPENING KICKOFF back for a touchdown, and it was touchdowns, fumbles (back to back), missed extra points, and everything you could ask for in a first half.
Commercials? The best, IMHO, is the Grand Theft Auto knockoff commercial where the guy does nice stuff instead of violence. The Spicy/Cheesy Doritos commercial was good, and the “Connectile Dysfunction” commercial for Sprint was pretty good also. There was a GPS gadget commercial where it sounded like Iron Maiden was playing the music. There was a Voltran-type robot fighting a map-monster. Pretty cheesy-cool.
AND THE HALFTIME SHOW DIDN’T SUCK! Prince can still wail on the guitar. I can’t remember the last time the Superbowl halftime show didn’t’ suck.
So during halftime I checked the public school’s website, and tomorrow’s a snow day.
No Superbowl party this year because our wives are either working or pregnant, and the roads are worth shit because of the snow, so we’re hunkered down in our houses.
Grossman gets sacked two times in a row in the third.
Geeky weirdness: So I’m blogging this game with the laptop and text-messaging my buddy, and we both have DVRs, so we don’t know where the other guy is at in the game (because of pause or fast-forward with DVR), and you don’t want to spoil it, so you can’t actually talk about the game real-time because you might spill something that hasn’t happened on the other end . . . Jesus Christ I’m a geek.
Robert Goulet messes with your stuff! ha! Emerald Nuts!
The girl doesn’t recognize that old basketball player . . . what the hell is his name . . . oh yeah, that bald angry basketball player . . . used to play for the phoenix suns? Charles Barkley . . .
Commercials:
Kevin Federline’s only decent song was in this Nationwide commercial . . .
Axe murderer, chain-saw guy . . . Bud Light. . . ha ha.
Big Chicago crowd at the Superbowl. . . .
Grossman starts to suck . . .
Flomax! it makes you faint. I have no idea what it is supposed to do.
colts win!!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Today was Thursday.
Today I replaced a hub with three switches. I diagrammed some network wiring. I showed somebody how to use a flash drive. I met a fan of the Ze Frank show. I made super-dark window blinds. I got my oil changed, got a haircut, bought some stamps, and tried to get my car washed, but the car wash was closed. It was snowy and cold out.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
furry PC
Today I vacuumed the most hair out of a PC I’ve ever seen. Then I showed somebody how to use windows xP. I cleaned my office. I picked up two identical PCs from two different clients. I swept the floor. I slipped on some snow in somebody’s driveway and fell flat on my back. I had two beers. I smoked a cigar. I read and article in Rolling Stone magazine about John Stewart and Steven Colbert.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
new site alert! workoutdump.com
Hey everybody check out Brian's new site workoutdump.com , where you can record your workouts and weight and get in shape. So get off your fat arses and get some miles in. I might actually run so I can post to the site.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
32 degrees feels like a friggin’ heat wave
I got one of those false sunlight lamps in my office now, and now I am happy. I went to the Hideout and played 4 player cribbage and drank some beers. This might actually be the reason why I am happy. I bought “Connect Four” for the kids.” I bought a lamp replacement switch for a broken lamp. I picked up a PC to be reformatted it had an almost naked Jessica Alba for wallpaper and lots of virus popups on startup, so I’m sure it’s riddled with porn and viruses, much like a cancer sufferer has holes in their bone marrow. Or whatever goes on in that situation. I have no idea.
This morning it was 32 degrees Fahrenheit and I went outside with no coat and barefooted and it was completely comfortable. That’s how cold it’s been lately. 32 degrees feels like a friggin’ heat wave.
This morning it was 32 degrees Fahrenheit and I went outside with no coat and barefooted and it was completely comfortable. That’s how cold it’s been lately. 32 degrees feels like a friggin’ heat wave.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Podcast #98. The most important podcast you will ever listen to.
podcast #98 is now available. Listen to it. The fate of humanity just may hinge on you hearing it.
In other news, the phone rang when I was on the crapper. It rang when I was in the shower. It was snowing out, now it's sunny.
I'm going downtown to fix all technological fambuneries.
In other news, the phone rang when I was on the crapper. It rang when I was in the shower. It was snowing out, now it's sunny.
I'm going downtown to fix all technological fambuneries.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
The Internets are (were) down.
The Internet is down. At least, it is for me. It’s 8:16 PM Monday. I can ping my default gateway. I can ping my DNS servers. I know, on faith alone, that I’ll be connected again, probably within the next half hour.
But what if it never came up again? What if the Internet disappeared overnight, never to work again? I’d be out of a job. Lots of people would be out of work, wouldn’t they? I mean, how much would that screw the world up, if the Internet just stopped working? If the Tubes were permanently Filled?
My buddy called and I answered, “Yes, it’s down.” I didn’t even have to ask him why he was calling. We have the same ISP.
Today I hooked up one of those Motorola Q phones. I hooked up a DSL line that wasn’t connected yet, but I had to clean up the PC and put in some AV software that worked.
Then I replaced a CD player.
Well, as you can see, the Internets are back up.
But what if it never came up again? What if the Internet disappeared overnight, never to work again? I’d be out of a job. Lots of people would be out of work, wouldn’t they? I mean, how much would that screw the world up, if the Internet just stopped working? If the Tubes were permanently Filled?
My buddy called and I answered, “Yes, it’s down.” I didn’t even have to ask him why he was calling. We have the same ISP.
Today I hooked up one of those Motorola Q phones. I hooked up a DSL line that wasn’t connected yet, but I had to clean up the PC and put in some AV software that worked.
Then I replaced a CD player.
Well, as you can see, the Internets are back up.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
59 days to the vernal equinox
Today I took the girls (Savannah, Alex and Cassidy) to the mall. I gave them each ten bucks and let them walk around while I sat in the bookstore drinking coffee and reading A Farewell to Arms. Right now I’m drinking a little Maker’s Mark and watching Bears/Saints for the NFC championship. There’s a fire in the fireplace and I’m on the couch.
Last night I took the girls to the gymnastics place on Coit and they were there from 7 to 10. While they were gone I used my time wisely. I beat Halo II for the second time. I should have been writing. That’s another three hours I’ll never get back.
Yesterday morning I had to make two stops. One to replace a UPS at a pharmacy, the other to fix something I had broke the day before. Don’t take IE7 out if you don’t want to drive back north of Belding road on a Saturday when you’d rather be doing something else.
The unseasonable warmth earlier this month has left my seasonal depression twice as bad now that the temperature’s dropped and the snow is all over the place. I’m already counting down the 59 days to the vernal equinox (March 21, seven minutes after midnight) and I can’t wait to go out on the patio barefooted.
Last night I took the girls to the gymnastics place on Coit and they were there from 7 to 10. While they were gone I used my time wisely. I beat Halo II for the second time. I should have been writing. That’s another three hours I’ll never get back.
Yesterday morning I had to make two stops. One to replace a UPS at a pharmacy, the other to fix something I had broke the day before. Don’t take IE7 out if you don’t want to drive back north of Belding road on a Saturday when you’d rather be doing something else.
The unseasonable warmth earlier this month has left my seasonal depression twice as bad now that the temperature’s dropped and the snow is all over the place. I’m already counting down the 59 days to the vernal equinox (March 21, seven minutes after midnight) and I can’t wait to go out on the patio barefooted.
59 days to the vernal equinox
Today I took the girls (Savannah, Alex and Cassidy) to the mall. I gave them each ten bucks and let them walk around while I sat in the bookstore drinking coffee and reading A Farewell to Arms. Right now I’m drinking a little Maker’s Mark and watching Bears/Saints for the NFC championship. There’s a fire in the fireplace and I’m on the couch.
Last night I took the girls to the gymnastics place on Coit and they were there from 7 to 10. While they were gone I used my time wisely. I beat Halo II for the second time. I should have been writing. That’s another three hours I’ll never get back.
Yesterday morning I had to make two stops. One to replace a UPS at a pharmacy, the other to fix something I had broke the day before. Don’t take IE7 out if you don’t want to drive back north of Belding road on a Saturday when you’d rather be doing something else.
The unseasonable warmth earlier this month has left my seasonal depression twice as bad now that the temperature’s dropped and the snow is all over the place. I’m already counting down the 59 days to the vernal equinox (March 21, seven minutes after midnight) and I can’t wait to go out on the patio barefooted.
Last night I took the girls to the gymnastics place on Coit and they were there from 7 to 10. While they were gone I used my time wisely. I beat Halo II for the second time. I should have been writing. That’s another three hours I’ll never get back.
Yesterday morning I had to make two stops. One to replace a UPS at a pharmacy, the other to fix something I had broke the day before. Don’t take IE7 out if you don’t want to drive back north of Belding road on a Saturday when you’d rather be doing something else.
The unseasonable warmth earlier this month has left my seasonal depression twice as bad now that the temperature’s dropped and the snow is all over the place. I’m already counting down the 59 days to the vernal equinox (March 21, seven minutes after midnight) and I can’t wait to go out on the patio barefooted.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Mr. Deity.com
http://www.mrdeity.com/ <-- there's only four episodes right now, but they are pretty funny.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
search terms that led people to my website:
Here are some searches people made that landed them squarely at my excellent website, danmanning.com
is about to whip somebody's ass daughter
shiva one short story
opinions on the letter from birmingham jail
what will i do with my millions
chris reeves knives rockford sc
fare address of the prophet
whip somebody's ass
stinky cat fur
american idol at fred meijer gardens
bicycle helmet mandate, dominos pizza
whipass goose remix
fecal matter in cat fur
dan manning
remake of s a tur day night!
sharks.wav
ray whip somebody's ass
fresh sqeezed juice recipes
dhammapada and the 10 commandments
give and take . . . for to the bee a flower is a fountain if life and to the flower a bee is a mes
the wagoneers
what are the four truths of the declaration of independence
comcast hsi install wizard cd download
helicopter electrician
used standup pouch machines for sale
eisenhower military-industrial complex speech
capitol beatles sgt pepper's labels
bla bla bla 2005 mp3
sledding v
lavitra
sledding videos
doug shock collar
jfk cherish our children's futures
is about to whip somebody's ass daughter
shiva one short story
opinions on the letter from birmingham jail
what will i do with my millions
chris reeves knives rockford sc
fare address of the prophet
whip somebody's ass
stinky cat fur
american idol at fred meijer gardens
bicycle helmet mandate, dominos pizza
whipass goose remix
fecal matter in cat fur
dan manning
remake of s a tur day night!
sharks.wav
ray whip somebody's ass
fresh sqeezed juice recipes
dhammapada and the 10 commandments
give and take . . . for to the bee a flower is a fountain if life and to the flower a bee is a mes
the wagoneers
what are the four truths of the declaration of independence
comcast hsi install wizard cd download
helicopter electrician
used standup pouch machines for sale
eisenhower military-industrial complex speech
capitol beatles sgt pepper's labels
bla bla bla 2005 mp3
sledding v
lavitra
sledding videos
doug shock collar
jfk cherish our children's futures
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun On Hold Music . . .
Today I had no calls. I had one call, a customer couldn’t find a file she had saved, but it was right on her desktop. I was there for an entire one minute, so I didn’t charge her. I know she’ll be calling me back, so that’s okay.
I had to make some calls to some customers who were late on payments. I hate making those calls. Once customer put me on hold, and what did I hear . . . ? “WHEN THE WORKING DAY IS DONE OH GIRLS, THEY WANT TO HAVE FU – UN, OH GIRLS THEY WANNA HAVE . . . THEY JUST WANNA, THE JUST WANNA . . . THEY JUST WANNA . . . GIRLS . . . “ You get the picture. So I had Cyndi Lauper’s 1983 smash hit stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a whopper of a vocal performance, but I don’t want that bouncing around in my head all friggin’ day. Pay your bills people!
Did I mention podcast #97 is available?
I had to make some calls to some customers who were late on payments. I hate making those calls. Once customer put me on hold, and what did I hear . . . ? “WHEN THE WORKING DAY IS DONE OH GIRLS, THEY WANT TO HAVE FU – UN, OH GIRLS THEY WANNA HAVE . . . THEY JUST WANNA, THE JUST WANNA . . . THEY JUST WANNA . . . GIRLS . . . “ You get the picture. So I had Cyndi Lauper’s 1983 smash hit stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a whopper of a vocal performance, but I don’t want that bouncing around in my head all friggin’ day. Pay your bills people!
Did I mention podcast #97 is available?
An open Letter to Movie Directors Everywhere
Okay: I like movies. But there's one type of scene that is telegraphed no matter who is directing: The auto accident. Every movie I see, there are certain camera angles in cars that scream: "Okay, here comes an 'unexpected' auto accident!"
When I'm watching a movie, and there's a scene in a vehicle where they characters are just chatting about mundane day-to-day stuff, or even having dialog that moves the plot along, nine times out of ten I can say "car crash coming" and be right. You can just tell.
So movie directors, if you have to have a car crash, make sure to have some scenes in vehicles that DON'T have a car crash, so the viewers will get used to seeing the characters in cars, so when there IS a crash, it's like, "holy crap, didn't see that coming."
When I'm watching a movie, and there's a scene in a vehicle where they characters are just chatting about mundane day-to-day stuff, or even having dialog that moves the plot along, nine times out of ten I can say "car crash coming" and be right. You can just tell.
So movie directors, if you have to have a car crash, make sure to have some scenes in vehicles that DON'T have a car crash, so the viewers will get used to seeing the characters in cars, so when there IS a crash, it's like, "holy crap, didn't see that coming."
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Podcast #97: "Old Man at The Bank" is ready!
Podcast #97 is ready! "Old Man at the Bank" is ready for download. Visit the Podcast Page!
I proof-read and re-proof-read and re-re-proof-read my succulent short story
Today I sent my latest short story, “The Squid-Headed God” to Weird Tales magazine, where I imagine it will be accepted enthusiastically, and in a few years it will be made into a major motion picture starring some of today’s hottest stars’ grandchildren.
In my more mundane pursuits, I finished a reformat, configured email goodness, and scrumptified software irregularities at a tax preparation place.
I bought an airline sized bottle of Jack Daniels (a tiny bottle) and had a nice drink.
I proof-read and re-proof-read and re-re-proof-read my succulent short story and slipped it seductively into a thin sheath of pure, creamy white envelope.
In my more mundane pursuits, I finished a reformat, configured email goodness, and scrumptified software irregularities at a tax preparation place.
I bought an airline sized bottle of Jack Daniels (a tiny bottle) and had a nice drink.
I proof-read and re-proof-read and re-re-proof-read my succulent short story and slipped it seductively into a thin sheath of pure, creamy white envelope.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Weekend Update, with your Weekend Update News Team . . .
Yesterday we refinanced from an ARM to a fixed rate on our mortgage. The word “mortgage” has the “mort” in it, because you pay until you’re dead. After that I had to drop off two machines and collect some money. Then I went to the Hideout and had two beers. I earned those beers by showing somebody how to run S-video to their television. It was an undocumented keystroke combo. I watched some football.
Today I went to Brian’s bearing pizza. Had a couple of beers there and watched the Bears beat the Seahawks.
Tomorrow I have two stops scheduled.
Stay tuned to my PODCAST PAGE. On Feb. 7th, episode #100 will be available then!
Today I went to Brian’s bearing pizza. Had a couple of beers there and watched the Bears beat the Seahawks.
Tomorrow I have two stops scheduled.
Stay tuned to my PODCAST PAGE. On Feb. 7th, episode #100 will be available then!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Little Squid Head
Last night (and this morning) I stayed up till 1:30 AM EST and finished my latest masterpiece, “Little Squid-Head God” a heartwarming tale of little carven gods, “happy slapping” visions of matricide and the culmination of somebody getting beaten to death with a baseball bat. I think it’s the feel-good hit of the winter!
But “Squid-Head” was just me warming up my writing chops for my newest bestseller, an epic work about a dystopian USA ruled by a uber-marketed totalitarian regime that uses clones for slave labor and entertainment, and one clone’s struggle to . . . uh, that’s all I got right now, but it reads better than I’m making it sound. I’ll write the pitch for it when I finish the story. I’m sure it will be made into a movie starring the children or grandchildren of some of today’s hottest Hollywood stars.
But “Squid-Head” was just me warming up my writing chops for my newest bestseller, an epic work about a dystopian USA ruled by a uber-marketed totalitarian regime that uses clones for slave labor and entertainment, and one clone’s struggle to . . . uh, that’s all I got right now, but it reads better than I’m making it sound. I’ll write the pitch for it when I finish the story. I’m sure it will be made into a movie starring the children or grandchildren of some of today’s hottest Hollywood stars.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Howard City, GWB, and PacMan
Today I went to Howard City and removed all Spyware contaminants. Then I tried to organize my office and car. Ha! Next I went to a homebuilder’s place and did backup procedures.
My molar feels better and I am going to write a new bestseller tonight.
GWB spoke to me last night, and somehow I’m not convinced. That guy doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence. I don’t think he knows what he’s doing.
I’m going to play PacMan now on the Xbox.
My molar feels better and I am going to write a new bestseller tonight.
GWB spoke to me last night, and somehow I’m not convinced. That guy doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence. I don’t think he knows what he’s doing.
I’m going to play PacMan now on the Xbox.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Notes from the Nocturnal Realm:
You know how I’m trying to be a writer and all that hoo-haw? Well writers are supposed to keep a notebook by their bedside so if they get any genius ideas in the middle of the night or in a dream they’re suppose to jot it down, and that note might be the spark for a story . . . bla la bla.
So I woke up just now, and all I could remember was the last sentence of the dream, and it was so strange I had to jot it down. Here’s my little gem of wisdom from the nether-regions of my subconscious. Someone in the dream was talking to me, and this is what they said:
What? What? Who’s funeral? What advice? Where’d the monkey come from? Who was telling me this at the end of the dream?
So there you go patient reader, a little sludge from my gray matter.
Have a nice day. I’m going to try.
So I woke up just now, and all I could remember was the last sentence of the dream, and it was so strange I had to jot it down. Here’s my little gem of wisdom from the nether-regions of my subconscious. Someone in the dream was talking to me, and this is what they said:
“And when you get tired of getting advice from a monkey at a funeral for $12.99 a pop, call me.”
What? What? Who’s funeral? What advice? Where’d the monkey come from? Who was telling me this at the end of the dream?
So there you go patient reader, a little sludge from my gray matter.
Have a nice day. I’m going to try.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Recruiting the Dead:
This doesn't even need a comment. From CNN:
WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Army said Friday it would apologize to the families of about 275 officers killed or wounded in action who were mistakenly sent letters urging them to return to active duty.
The letters were sent a few days after Christmas to more than 5,100 Army officers who had recently left the service. Included were letters to about 75 officers killed in action and about 200 wounded in action.
"Army personnel officials are contacting those officers' families now to personally apologize for erroneously sending the letters," the Army said in a brief news release issued Friday night.
The Army did not say how or when the mistake was discovered. It said the database normally used for such correspondence with former officers had been "thoroughly reviewed" to remove the names of wounded or dead soldiers.
"But an earlier list was used inadvertently for the December mailings," the Army statement said, adding that the Army is apologizing to those officers and families affected and "regrets any confusion."
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Hi, My name is Dan, and I watch poker.
It’s happened: I found myself watching World Series of Poker on ESPN2 and liking it. There. I said it, and I'm not ashamed!
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
sites i found in a newspaper article
blufr.com <-- a true or false game. pretty fun. will you get "bluffed"?
popularitydialer.com <-- fake calls to yourself. Not sure why.
Weird Al interviewing Jessica Simpson <-- on YouTube.
popularitydialer.com <-- fake calls to yourself. Not sure why.
Weird Al interviewing Jessica Simpson <-- on YouTube.
Vicodin is Delicious!
Today they finally buried Gerald Ford. Thank goodness and God bless him. Now I can go downtown and fix computers. The whole town was jacked up for two days burying a guy that was 93 years old.
I got my split molar pulled today. My dentist is great about giving the laughing gas and anesthetic and the gas. I love laughing gas. I swear to God I saw a vision of my old neighborhood.
I saw at least seven accidents. Witnessed one. Some guy pulled out in front of Meijer on Plainfield Blvd. and got spun around. Dumb ass. It’s like everybody forgot to drive. And me driving around high on Vicodin and not even coming close to an accident.
There was a long line at the post office because Gerald R. Ford kept the friggin PO closed yesterday because he was 93 years old and he died. There was a lady with drawn-on eyebrows and gray tennis-shoes in front of me. Up ahead, “Ethan” wouldn’t stay in line with his mother. That kid needed to be smacked. Another lady on her cell phone was talking to her bank. “Debit for two thousand dollars?” She said. Then she said there must have been some mistake. Someone in line smelled like pot. There were 4 workers at the Post Office windows, which is amazing, because usually at least two slackers are on “break.” Government workers. I swear to God.
I’m going to take some Vicodin now and play Xbox.
I got my split molar pulled today. My dentist is great about giving the laughing gas and anesthetic and the gas. I love laughing gas. I swear to God I saw a vision of my old neighborhood.
I saw at least seven accidents. Witnessed one. Some guy pulled out in front of Meijer on Plainfield Blvd. and got spun around. Dumb ass. It’s like everybody forgot to drive. And me driving around high on Vicodin and not even coming close to an accident.
There was a long line at the post office because Gerald R. Ford kept the friggin PO closed yesterday because he was 93 years old and he died. There was a lady with drawn-on eyebrows and gray tennis-shoes in front of me. Up ahead, “Ethan” wouldn’t stay in line with his mother. That kid needed to be smacked. Another lady on her cell phone was talking to her bank. “Debit for two thousand dollars?” She said. Then she said there must have been some mistake. Someone in line smelled like pot. There were 4 workers at the Post Office windows, which is amazing, because usually at least two slackers are on “break.” Government workers. I swear to God.
I’m going to take some Vicodin now and play Xbox.
Friday, December 29, 2006
watching the Intenternets
If you've got a free hour, watch the video below. It's the first of three BBC films about politicians and terrorists, and how they use fear to bla bla bla, just watch it. I watched all three, and now I'm all depressed.
The weather isn't depressing at all. It's nice and warm. It's going to be in the forties for the next week. No global warming. Nothing to worry about :)
Otherwise, I got nothing going on. I probably won't get any calls cause it's New Year's Eve Weekend. We got family coming in, so the house is clean.
The weather isn't depressing at all. It's nice and warm. It's going to be in the forties for the next week. No global warming. Nothing to worry about :)
Otherwise, I got nothing going on. I probably won't get any calls cause it's New Year's Eve Weekend. We got family coming in, so the house is clean.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Christmas Morning
I haven’t written in this for awhile. Let’s see. A week ago Sunday I went to this stoner’s house and his 4 stoner teenage hangabout sons couldn’t hook up a wireless router to a cable modem. Three of them were sitting around all high watching the fourth play World of Warcraft. Monday, I fixed a router/printer/Mac networking situation for a lady who had Rush-Limbaugh blasting in the background. Tuesday I cleaned up a wiring mess at an accounting office. Tax season is coming up! Wednesday last week I went way out to Lowel to fix a high-dollar video card and reformat a Compaq. Thursday I returned the PC. Friday I had a customer who thought she had a virus that made the computer come on by itself. Her computer needed a serious cleanup, but there were no viruses.
Yesterday (Christmas Eve) we drove to Joanne’s and had a nice visit. I got a gallon of beer in one of those mini-kegs, which I look forward to tapping later on.
I got a new electric shaver. It’s charging now. The girls got lost of presents, bla bla bla, another Christmas.
Yesterday (Christmas Eve) we drove to Joanne’s and had a nice visit. I got a gallon of beer in one of those mini-kegs, which I look forward to tapping later on.
I got a new electric shaver. It’s charging now. The girls got lost of presents, bla bla bla, another Christmas.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
Cleartype makes the computer go hella-slow (a followup)
Something I should have anticipated: Cleartype makes the PC go hella-slow. But in Control Panel, there's an icon, and after that there is a checkbox "Turn on ClearType" Uncheck it, and it turns off ClearType no problem.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
cleartype. what took me so long to find you?
Hi fellow laptop users. Let me just say this now: I should have stumbled across this a long time ago. Anywhoo, when I downloaded the IE7 upgrade, I noticed how clear the text was on the new browser. It's something called "cleartype" and I thought, "well golly! why can't I see that clearly on everything?"
Well, I found the cleartype tuner, and I'm here to tell you, it makes the laptop look like a brand new, clearer laptop. check it out. Freakin' awesome.
Well, I found the cleartype tuner, and I'm here to tell you, it makes the laptop look like a brand new, clearer laptop. check it out. Freakin' awesome.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
boston typewriter orchestra
http://www.bostontypewriterorchestra.com/ <--they make "music" with old typewriters. Audio samples.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Oliver Sipple, a tragic story.
Here's a sad story for ya: the story of Oliver Sipple, the guy who saved President Ford. No good deed goes unpunished. Check out the chain of events that followed his heroic action that saved President Ford. Poor gay bastard.
Don't ask what random clicking led me to this wikipedia page. It started on Slate.
Don't ask what random clicking led me to this wikipedia page. It started on Slate.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Cat Puke!!
So the cat puked right in front of my office door. I can’t stand puke. I have a weak stomach. I’m a puss when it comes to vomit and shit.
So. Deb worked last night, so she was asleep. So I’m already gagging, and I haven’t even looked directly at the puke. I’m looking at it with my periphial vision only, just stepping around it, and I’m thinking, “I have to wake Deb up so she can take care of this.” I don’t want to wake her up, cause she’s asleep, and what kind of a puss can’t pick up some cat puke? So I steel myself, hold my breath, and clean it up.
And then I puked. Just a little.
Oh the things I do for love.
So. Deb worked last night, so she was asleep. So I’m already gagging, and I haven’t even looked directly at the puke. I’m looking at it with my periphial vision only, just stepping around it, and I’m thinking, “I have to wake Deb up so she can take care of this.” I don’t want to wake her up, cause she’s asleep, and what kind of a puss can’t pick up some cat puke? So I steel myself, hold my breath, and clean it up.
And then I puked. Just a little.
Oh the things I do for love.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
blinker
Sunday, December 03, 2006
I am such a friggin’ slacker. Jesus H. Christ.
Well, first I get hooked on World of Warcraft. I play the crap out of that, get no writing done, and then I cancel the account and burn the CDs. What do I, being the genius that I am? I get a Second Life account and get hooked on that. So today I had to cash out of that and uninstall the software.
It’s like the last thing I want to do is WRITE. Maybe because I’m allergic to WORK. And writing a book is HARD. It takes a lot of TIME. And EFFORT.
It’s like the last thing I want to do is WRITE. Maybe because I’m allergic to WORK. And writing a book is HARD. It takes a lot of TIME. And EFFORT.
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About Me
- dan
- I am the author of 5 books: Android Down, Firewood for Cannibals, The Cubicles of Madness, Robot Stories, and most recently, Various Meats and Cheeses. I live and write in Michigan. My website is at danmanning.com